I need help. first off i believe im a girl in a male body. But theres always doubt. My dad offered me therapy and the money to pay for hrt. (yay) But my head is a butthole so sometimes i dont feel "trans enough".

Reasons for not feeling trans enough.

-When I wear girls clothes I get an erection. And feel very sexy and beautiful and aroused.
-I love wearing them but theyre uncomfortable so i dont wear them for very long. (I think this is because i think i look very bad in them)
-This odd feeling in the back of my head (commonly known as doubt)
Reasons why I get very positive I'm Trans.

-I hate having a penis
-socially and mentally I feel like a woman. Very evident in my day to day life.
-I daydream about being a girl ALOT.
-I get jealous of any beautiful girl I pass by
-I hate boys locker rooms.
-I cant see myself having sex as a man.
- If i had a choice to start my life again I would pick girl in a half of a blink of an eye


Ok so this is what im thinking atm. I came out as trans to my father. Feel pretty much the same as i did always (a female) but theres weird doubt everywhere. Help?

First thing i would do is take your dad up on his offer to pay for a therapist.

One that knows the WPATH SOC is what you are looking for.

Once you and your therapist works through all the possibilities it will make how your path will lay out.

Not eveyone needs hrt. And for sure GCS is a major surgery that should not be taken lightly.

So start with a therapist is your best step for your answers.

Isabell

Start seeing a therapist that deals with Gender issues. Nobody here can tell you what you are as only you know what you are. I know that's not the answer that you are looking for but the truth is that you are the only person in this world who knows and therapy will help you get through the who am I part of figuring yourself out. 

Quote from: mind is quiet now on March 17, 2014, 07:35:04 PM
First thing i would do is take your dad up on his offer to pay for a therapist.

One that knows the WPATH SOC is what you are looking for.

Once you and your therapist works through all the possibilities it will make how your path will lay out.

Not eveyone needs hrt. And for sure GCS is a major surgery that should not be taken lightly.

So start with a therapist is your best step for your answers.

Isabell

have to agree

You are you, what labels you have remains to be found out. 

Ok, so the erection thing is normal for a large amount of people. I just dont like wearing them because my mother has absolutely no fashion sense. Ah doubt, thou are a cold b***h.

Go to a therapist for help, not to get HRT but help.

You are getting great advice.  I agree with all of it and I relate to how you felt in the original post.  That was how it started with me.  Wise father.

I often say: Nobody but you can say if you are trans. Not us. Not any therapist. If you know, you know. Transition is a life changing, serious thing. Obvious, I know, but true.

- Testosterone makes you get HORNY
- Women's clothing can be uncomfortable. Size and fit matters... but a underwire bra and heels SUCK.
- Doubt is common.

If you are MTF, the sooner you transition, the less you will regret. BUT it is not a race.

Persue therapy. Also, HRT may be worth a try. You will know very quickly if it is or is not for you. Within weeks. Before any permanent changes occur.

Don't worry about being trans enough.  This is about how you feel and what's the best course of action for you to take, whatever that might be. There is no litmus test for that.  If you feel confused and conflicted, I'd really suggest speaking further with a gender therapist and doing some further personal discovery.  I wish you luck finding your path.

These feelings you have will never go away and it's probably best to figure out what you want now and see a therapist than ignore these feelings and later on have regrets you didn't start earlier.

if you feel like you a female in a male's body then defiantly start doing therapy, you might doubt yourself now but it changes when you figure out who you are inside i used to doubt myself but i don't anymore since I know who i am inside and not all womens clothing is uncomfortable, there are different types of clothing too so you may have to find the right type of clothing that you are comfortable in.

I second what Nora Flexion said.  There is no distinction of "trans enough", I went through this early on in my questioning phase, eventually I figured out it was irrational anxiety and adapting to the new way in which I saw myself.

You don't have to fit the stereotypical narrative of "hating your penis", "Feeling like you are a girl trapped in a man's body", "not ever wanting to have sex as a guy", and any other crap your brain picks up from the media and it's stupid stereotyped messages.

I never felt like I was a "girl in a guys body", I just felt like me, and I happened to relate and interact as both male and female, and had interests on both sides (eg. male superheroes + sparkly Pegasus riding she-ra characters).

I identify as a transsexual woman, because I am using hormones to change my body to look female. I may or may not get GRS in the future, I might suddenly think "hey I like using my penis". But I am also bigender, specifically I switch between being female and being androgyne. I wasted months questioning myself because I was bigender and was trying to conform to stereotypes about the experiences of trans women.

Stick around here and talk, PM me, but whatever you do just don't go into denial about who you are if you feel female. If you can afford one and you can find one who has worked with plenty of trans clients, go for it, I'm sure they can help you sort things out.

(If you happen to fit some of the media stereotypes, that's totally fine too. I'm just saying that you don't have to read so hard into your past to conform to said stereotypes.)

One thing that helped me is when I understood that society is a fickle and ever-changing beast.  Abstract things like masculine, feminine, beauty, and all other matters of socially-established aesthetics and gender roles vary from age to age and country to country...even city to city, county to county. 

Do NOT make their confusion yours.  Your "what the hell am I?" question is what THEY ask, because the vast majority of them don't even know what the hell THEY are.

Transgender (and sexuality and gender roles in general) is divided into two areas, in my opinion: the abstract, which deals in things such as beauty and gender roles; and the actual, which covers the physical process of transitioning itself from beginning to end.  The moment you decide to take the first step, you are now "trans enough". PERIOD.  Forget about the abstract stuff set forth by society: no two people can agree on what society should be anyways.  (That is the beauty and ugliness of things left up to interpretation.)

Anyone who fears a trans or anyone in the LGBTQ community simply for their orientation is irrational.  One of my favorite philosophers, Ayn Rand, had said: "There are no victims and no conflicts of interest among rational men."  Anyone who fears you is irrational and is probably crazier than you are or will ever be.

As I like to say:

One of the biggest problems with humanity is that all the people who should not be ashamed are, and those who should be ashamed are not.

Quote from: Tori on March 17, 2014, 08:37:35 PM
Women's clothing can be uncomfortable. Size and fit matters... but a underwire bra and heels SUCK.

Heels take a real learning curve, plus getting women's shoes to fit feet that started out male is an adventure.  However, the right underwire bra most assuredly does not SUCK.  That is the ticket to make the girls stand up proud and beautiful.

Quote from: Tori on March 17, 2014, 08:37:35 PM
Persue therapy. Also, HRT may be worth a try. You will know very quickly if it is or is not for you. Within weeks. Before any permanent changes occur.

100% agree with therapy.  Depending on what you discover about yourself through therapy HRT may also be good; but it would be best that you are more convinced you want to go there before starting.

You girls are the best. All of the comments were sooooo helpful.

Quote from: Skyla Blue on March 18, 2014, 03:49:08 PM

You don't have to fit the stereotypical narrative of "hating your penis", "Feeling like you are a girl trapped in a man's body", "not ever wanting to have sex as a guy", and any other crap your brain picks up from the media and it's stupid stereotyped messages.

I never felt like I was a "girl in a guys body", I just felt like me, and I happened to relate and interact as both male and female, and had interests on both sides (eg. male superheroes + sparkly Pegasus riding she-ra characters).

Thank you for this post skyla.

I just pored through the first 100 pages of the HRT forum looking for advice. While never misintentioned Im sure, many folks there echo the "Born in the wrong body, I hate my genitals, that man is dead and that orchi can't come soon enough" sentiment.

I was starting to think these same things to validate myself.
It was making me fear and regret my own HRT.

Your post here is the first one that brought me out of the depths of the new self doubt I found there. I think I may have been in the wrong section of the forum.

While I'm sure the HRT will cause new changes in my mind and perception of myself, it's nice to know that it's OK to remain who I always was if possible or at least to not hate my old self. I knew that already but when you read 100 pages of folks telling you their personal experiences, it's easy to get confused.

Wow if I didn't see your name at the top of this subject I would have thought that I posted it and forgot about it.

As a matter of fact I just asked the same question here not too long ago.

These feeling that you are having now are VERY common, I mean when I started questioning my gender I thought that

I was a ->-bleeped-<- because I always got an erection from wearing women's clothing, but after a while of wearing them

day after day they came less often. As for comfort I find them comfortable, but that is just my opinion. I know of many

others on this site who don't like certain articles of women's clothing. Looking bad in women's clothing is the only thing

that I bate about cross-dressing. I doubt myself everyday also, but ive just thought about what it is I truely want in life and

Ive decided that if I could be anything I wanted I would want to be a strong and beautiful woman and so now Ive started

(sort of) moving myself to transitioning. Don't get me wrong though I still think that I need to see a gender specialist and I

think that is where you need to start too. From reading what you dream about and your jealousy of hot women and you saying

that if you could choose to be born as a woman that you would I feel ad though you are on the right track of becoming a

beautiful woman. Take your dad up on the offer of therapy, that will be your first large step in finding yourself.