Quote from: JordanBlue on March 18, 2014, 09:27:50 AM

Quote from: learningtolive on March 18, 2014, 07:20:24 AMI would just ask for everyone to be as kind to each other as possible. 

I'm puzzled as to why you think you have the right to ask anyone to do something you haven't done here. 

QuoteI found those pms unwelcoming and would prefer not recieving such things in the future. 

I find a lot of your words here unwelcome. You don't want any pm's.  I get it - OK? I figured a pm would be better than posting personal issues with a member on the forum.  That's usually the way adults deal with something. Obviously you don't agree.  There was no harassment in those pms.  I said - 'you really don't get it' and 'I believe that you're a whiner'. You were certainly more than welcome to respond and correct me if you felt I was wrong. You instead chose to air your complaints by posting on the forum.  FWIW, I stand by both comments because you haven't shown me anything contrary to that. 

QuoteIf anyone thinks I'm here to diminish their experiences, I would have to tell you that's not my intention.

I truly believe there is some type of separation between your intention and the majority of your posts here.  Your theme seems to be 'I can't pass'.  I've seen a countless number of members assure you over and over that you do indeed 'pass' and then some.  Yet you relentlessly repeat the same 'I can't pass'.  then, you freak out when someone tells you that you're repeating the same thing over and over.  I can assure you that many members in transition here would love to be as passable as you are.  To have your face, hair, etc.  You have no idea how lucky you are.  For some reason, you refuse to accept that.  Please find a gender therapist who can help you.  You seem to have bigger issues than someone should be trying to solve on an online forum. You have absolutely no idea how much easier you have it than when I was your age.  I've seen many other members here tell you the same thing.  Yes, you disagree with that - I get it.

QuoteThat's my feeling on the subject and you are free to interpret it as you will.

I can only 'interpret' what I see anyone post here.  Nobody can interpret personal intentions and feelings on an internet forum.   I could go on about how nobody is 'diminishing' (that seems to be your favorite word) your experience here anymore than you're 'diminishing' theirs, but I won't.    Respect and kindness is a two way street.   Yes, it's a support forum, nobody is debating that.

hi Jordan,

I don't know what all has gone down between you. But I think I can see some of both sides just from this thread. To someone who may have a lot more challenges transition wise (I don't know, I'm just guessing this is where you're coming from), LTL's complaints may seem small. I think we could pretty much agree that transitioning young is comparatively easier - more resources and knowledge available now, less history in the wrong gender, less baggage (especially if the younger person doesn't have a marriage or kids to deal with), sometimes a lot less to deal with physically (less hair loss, maybe less beard, less masculinization, etc). Not to mention past decades were a lot less kind to those with gender variance.

And there's also a lot of ageism in the trans community, particularly among trans women. This reflects the greater culture where ageism is particularly prevalent against women. Our society has infantilized women (hope I spelled that right) and makes it almost a personal failure to age as a woman (especially in the US). This gets worse in the trans community when more mature women have more obstacles to passing (hair for one). And like the paper bag parties of another time, passable young trans women often try to distance themselves from those who cannot (often older trans women but not always).

So, I get the frustration. I really do. I've seen this kind of ageism in the community. But I really don't think LTL is one of those. So much of this is mental. Her struggles may seem trivial to others dealing with more but they are real to her. And really, in female terms, she is not that young. She's at the age where women start being really reluctant to say their age. At 25, a man is seen as still very young, virile, and full of possibility. Not so for a woman.  25 for a woman is probably like 50 for a man. (especially in terms of societal value). Still viable, but on the way down. At the 'peak' and there's not much further to go from there. Again because of the infantilization of women.