Hello my name is Rachel. I am a 20 year old working out of Colorado. I am currently living with my mother and stepfather who both do not approve of me being transgender. I have struggled with this "issue if you will" for the last 12 some years. Among a variety of mental disorders, I am still working on coming out to the world. The home I've grown up in is very christian oriented and does not in any way support my decision to transition. I have seen therapists and doctors and physiologist my whole life. I recently have been interviewed by a neurologist group as well and i feel that i have reached a dead end. My decision now is too move out or too stay and deal with the control of my parents. My father was abusive growing up and i have been dealing with the backlash of his actions for years. Along with that I've had so many other worldly struggles that have brought me down. I don't really know where to go from here. I am joining the sight to hopefully get some feedback from young transgender people who have faced adversity in there times of hardships? I want to know if anyone has been in this situation and what they decided to do? I already tried to come out to my family a few times. I have received nothing but hate from them and i have even been kicked out and on the verge of homelessness. Yet my bio father took me in, a while back and then times go worse. My younger brother is the only source of hope and love i have at this point. He accepts me wholly and would do anything for me. I plan to move out with him and get him emancipated so that he can move in with me. I need some serious help here as my thought and my worry's are verbally being portrayed to me through visions and nightmares. In addition sometimes I hear my true self screaming to let her out as I battle the world with my current male form. This is not a pity party by any means. I want to try to be descriptive so i can get a good response. I'd love to hear from anyone who has a helpful word. I currently don't know if transitioning is completely right for me yet as I would be sacrificing any family I had left to do so. I would be banished and don't have a sufficient amount of income to sustain a regular life outside of my parents home and surely would end up homeless as my father said he would not take me back in again. I have no where else to go and no friends to depend on. But I do have a job that i picked up recently do to my brother. And everyone there is supportive. Even though i'm a cashier they are still OK with me transitioning. That's about it for this post. Just a little background. If this kicks off ill be wiling to private message even if someone has some personal info that we can talk about that relates to the topic. Thank you all so much. -Love Rachel:)

Hi Rachel 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

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Hugs

V M

Hi,

I am new too. I am not young but I hope you don't mind me replying. My family was unhealthy and abusive and in the past year I have ended up cutting ties with them. It's a hard thing to do and it hurts that I was forced to do that but I was never going to be accepted otherwise. I could not have done it at your age but now it's ok. I've built my life outside of the family and I have finally been able to get freedom and safety. I am not healed from the abuse my dad and family did but I am feeling. It's only now, with this new safety and separation from my family that I am truly able to explore my trans-self and really determine what is right for me.

I am sorry I don't have magical words of advice for you, but it can truly get better.

A big warm welcome to the family Rachel. You have found a very special place and valuable resource for transitioning and support. All of the information you get here is from REAL people at all stages of transition from still questioning to Post Op. You will learn first hand what works, doesn't work and which medical resources are best. Feel free to rant, vent, share good news (we like this a LOT), learn or just have some fun and meet the rest of the family. After 15 postings you can use the PM feature and are always welcome to PM me anytime for help with questions or just talk. Here is a BIG HUG  to welcome you and make you feel right at home, because you are now!

Welcome to Susan's, Rachel.

Welcome Rachel,  I don't really have any advice for you.  I am sorry about that.  Maybe you could look up a glbt chapter near you.  They may have some resources.  I have found that most colleges have some sort of program.  I don't know if that helps but you will be in my thoughts

Hi Rachel, I doubt I have any answers for you, but I do know what is is like worrying about acceptance by religious family members.
My stepbrother and stepsister were both raised very religious Christians, and the only reason I think my stepsister might accept my transition is because I am technically not of her blood.
My stepbrother is a different story. He recently went on a religious trip (I forget what kind) to Indonesia and spent a month or two volunteering in a village with a very large transgender population. The experience opened his eyes to how the transgender community is no different than anyone else (except perhaps more certain in their life goals). Because of that trip I feel he would be much more accepting of transition.

Perhaps if you can find some church event that involves transgender people in day to day life and your parents see what my step brother saw, then maybe they will be more accepting...

I wish you the best of luck with your family!

The abuse and deprivations are hard but you have the rest of your life to sort them out...

Right now the more pressing issue is how are you going to support your brother? How old is he? You can get in trouble with the law if you take him with you. Your Mom/Dad can accuse you of kidnapping.

If your brother is being seriously abused, call social service, if not first get your life in gear.

You need to get an education (trade or college) so you will have the financial power to go on with the rests of your dreams, that is my best advice

Where in Colorado are you?

Welcome in susans.org Feel like home !!! 

Thank you all for you love:)