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Your wife is most likely seeing you taking steps toward transition as steps toward her losing the man she married.  You were who you are all along, but taking the step of starting HRT is making that painfully clear to her.  Yes, you have a right to be sensitive - but the other shoe is that your wife has the same right.

You need to discuss this issue in as non-threatening a manner as possible.  If you want your marriage to survive you will need to have open discussion and you probably will have to compromise.

Transitioning hurts.  Often it hurts relationships.

Sorry I can't really help.


Erin

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Quote from: AlyssaL on March 19, 2014, 10:25:41 AM
Ironically we had an argument about a week ago where I told her that I foresee her one day just exploding and telling me she just can't do this anymore. I guess that day was yesterday.

What you described is more her frustration bubbling to the top.  An explosion would be a lot more dramatic and destructive.  I am sadly not the one to give marriage advice.  My late wife and I lived parallel lives until cancer took her.  We were unable to freely discuss deep issues as well.  It would sound as if your wife is not as fully supportive of your transition as you hope.

Is there any way to get to a marriage councillor to try and faciliatate discussion?  You have a really major issue that needs to be sorted out.

Quote from: AlyssaL on March 19, 2014, 10:25:41 AM
Thanks Erin,

I 100% agree with you regarding communication. The problem is I like to talk about everything and my wife bottles it all up until it gets too full and explodes.

Alyssa

First off welcome to the female brain on estrogen. This you will find out yourself once you move into that stage.

I wish you luck with your wife. It is the hardest thing to try to blance. You are expecting her to understand. She has no clue and will not.

You need to just stop throwing Alyssa in her face. What i mean is stop telling here how you feel and how it makes you feel.

Just do what you need to do, she is a adult and will either accept it or not.

As most of us keep saying to our spouses is we have always been. Yes inside our brains we have but who we truly are is not even know by our spouse. Your wife fell in love with the Man and most can not handle the other woman.

I was married for 25 years and i expected my wife to accept me. I expected to go from a hetro relationship to a lesbian relationship just because loved her. If your wife is not Bi i do not see that ever happening. You will have to make choices. Be ready, sometimes we just need to part ways so both can be happy.

Our life is full of hurt as we transition but in the end if it is truly your path to walk happiness comes as the women grows.

I wish you well my Sister. Try to remember they have there own feelings that are just as important as ours.

Hugs
Isabell

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Could'a been, "GOOD!"

Gotta remember this isn't her "project", passive nonresistance is probably the best you can expect. Anything else is icing on the cake.

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It might come down to the last thing she said "So were you happy to go out dressed up or were you happy because you made someone uncomfortable?"

She may think the extent of your desires is simply getting dressed up and she is willing to accommodate that as a compromise. That it's a part time thing or phase even. Maybe she is harbouring a desire that you will revert back to the man she pictures.

I guess you have to make it clear how you feel. That it's not dressing up. It's putting on everyday clothes to go outside like she does. That your pleased with your progress and tell her your goals and desires from transition.