So. I'm at my new job, and I get in the elevator to go up to where all the associates work (The IT folks are stuck down here on the first floor.) An associate gets on the elevator with me and we start doing some small talk on the way up. Towards the end, this is how the conversation went:

HIM: So, how are you settling into the Man-Cave?
ME: Um. It's allright. I prefer to call it the IT Dungeon, however.
HIM: (laughing) Yeah. God forbid we ever hire any women down there. They wouldn't know what to do with themselves!
ME: Uuuuuuuhhh...... yeah.

Now, I'm still presenting as male at the workplace, and nobody here knows I'm trans. Despite the title, I'm sure I've come across rampant sexism before, but this is the first time I really felt that it was directed (even inadvertently) against me. So far, everybody that I've come out to has been really cool about it, but I know that isn't always going to be the case. I shouldn't let this get to me, but it is, and I'm beginning to question the wisdom of coming out at work, now. 

I imagine they might still be cool about your transition. What a guy says when he thinks he's in front of another guy is different than what he might say in front of women or both genders there at once.

Also, you get like +500 cool points for having an Adventure Time avatar like me haha.

Didn't seem particularly "sexist" to me.  If that IT dept. is and has been exclusively men, and has a typically male working environment, then that seems like a more empathetic statement to me.  It's not as if he said, "Thank god we haven't hired any women down there... or "we should never hire women." , "They wouldn't know what to do." etc.

Maybe you're projecting a bit?

Maybe. His tone of voice was certainly of the, "Hur, hur, women in IT" type.

I'm really not sure what to make of his statements, to be honest. The first one seems to just be commenting on the situation, or perhaps even implying that they should hire more women into the IT department. But then the second statement... "Wouldn't know what to do with themselves"? That's when he lost me. I'm not sure he meant that to be sexist, but it does sort of have that vibe to me, and I don't really understand what he was trying to say with it. Hearing that would have made me feel uncomfortable, anyway, so I can empathize with you.

Don't let it get you down, sis, and don't let it make you fearful to come out. *hugs*

QuoteMaybe. His tone of voice was certainly of the, "Hur, hur, women in IT" type.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Even the stupid ones. 

Sexism comes in many forms.  I was asked for suggestions who should be nominated to the Board of Directors of the not-for-profit corporation that directs our work.  I suggested someone very highly qualifed for the position, and a long time friend for our efforts.  This was a woman.  I was looked at like I had two heads.  The idea had NEVER entered anyone's mind.  After a LOT of back and forth she is now a member of the Board, and an effective one.

This from a group of men that pat themselves on the back over their full acceptance of diversity.

Yes, sexism is alive and well.  Sadly.


Erin

Everyone has a bias and modes of thinking that get worn into grooves in their brains.  Sexism, racism, whateverism. Even the people normally associated with being the victims of it.

I guess I have been pretty lucky. We have, for years, referred to the IT technical work area here as "The Great Hall of Geeks". In my particular work group, two of us are cis females, my supervisor is also a cis female. And then there's me... currently somewhere in between

The guys who work here are a pretty good bunch, so the only kind of sex-related stuff I have witnessed was what I would qualify as a genuine appreciation for the female form (damn, she's hot) kind of stuff. I have not seen anything here that would suggest that any one believes that women are less capable, and there is full pay equity.

Fortunately, this isn't anybody actually in the IT department. Just one of the good ole' boys. I'm hoping that the women here will react better (but I'm not holding my breath right now) when they find out since they outnumber the guys 2 to 1. At least in this office.

so he would be sort of like Sales Guy in The Website is down #1?

Quote from: JamesG on March 19, 2014, 12:36:35 PM
Everyone has a bias and modes of thinking that get worn into grooves in their brains.  Sexism, racism, whateverism. Even the people normally associated with being the victims of it.

Sadly true. Many women engage in sexism against women themselves or don't even recognize it when they see it.

I am used to ( not so) subtle sexism. Don't carry that stuff, actually just don't lift a finger. Don't pay, baby you don't need money. Oh honey you don't need a job. Why do you need a car? You're so beautiful. Always treating me like a child. It's OK though cuz I basically am. At least its not like how as a boy I had crippling mental illness that nobody cared about bc nobody believes boys have feelings and can need help. That's why I am so helpless. Nobody ever helped me until I became a girl cuz they expected me to be able to do everything like a machine. Now they don't expect me to do anything even if I want to. So I hate gender. Both sides are crap IMO. Sorry for the rant.