Ok did the subject get your attention? lol it was ment to.... Now I have this huge well to me huge problem. I know what i want, I know how to get there, I know just about all that i need to finish my transition. but i cant make my self take the "leap" "is the grass greener" Thats my problem what if taking that "leap" i end up in a worse place then i am now.....

If im over thinkng things just tell me..... I know i do that from time to time....

I don't know if the grass is any greener, but the weather is nicer on this side..

Translation: I don't know if life is really any better, but I feel a damned sight better about myself.

I am a woman so for me the grass is greener on this side.

I had the same fears an I just transition in my job. I know now that it was the right decision. But even before my fears were more related to passing and loosing my job. I was pretty sure that I (I am my brain) was born female in a male body.

Lara

I had similar feelings as well. Just keep thinking about it and make sure that transition is right for you. A really good question my gender therapist asked me was "if you transition, how do you expect to feel in 5 years from now? 10 years? 15?"

That really got me thinking, and I realized that the sooner I transitioned the better- because deep down I knew I wanted to have experienced my life to the fullest in between that time.

It's definitely a lot to bite off at first (mentally). But, once you take the plunge, all of those fears and worries will lessen (maybe very quickly if you are of a determined mindset) and you will get to the point where you couldn't imagine not having transitioned.

Give it time, think it through. Maybe make a pro's / con's list. As time goes on you will see that the con's you might have come up with really aren't that big of a deal to you at all when comparing the pro's.

And finally, good luck getting a good night's rest! I know I was a mess when I was making these massive decisions. Definitely the hardest single part of transition is simply deciding to do it in the first place!

Good luck and keep asking questions to yourself and those who you care about

Grass is grass. Not greener at all.

I know what you're saying, I'm going through exactly the same thing just at the moment too - but Tori is right. Either side has it's pluses and minuses... it's what you make of them that counts in the end.

i heard about a 4 month slump when it can to HRT. maybe thats what is happening with me. I was all fine and dandy until 3 1/2 months in. then I started getting down at the most random times. well it seames that way.

This is actually a reply I posted to another thread a while ago in relation to transitioning and whether it was worse losing significant others to do so...but I feel it is a sentiment that pertains to your question as well.

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This is a question I ask myself every...single...day

I am currently going through my transition, I am 3 months on hormones and have recently lost my partner of 10 years...

She was and still is absolutely the woman of my dreams, and if I could do anything to change this situation that we have found ourselves in I would.

But the fact of the matter is, it simply couldn't work. I could never live a lie once I found out about my condition, and neither could she change her sexuality. So we had to part.

I am still very much going through the mourning process of an amazing relationship and a beautiful future lost...so I'm possibly not the best person to ask right now I guess :S

...

But I will say one thing that keeps me going through these times.

All that matters, all that determines whether transitioning was worth it or not...is how you deal with your loss.

No matter what it is you lose, Wife, children, family, friends, it's how you move on from your loss, and what you do with your life after, that determines whether losing it was worth it or not.

If you lose everything and give up...it will not feel worth it in the slightest.

But if you can lose everything, transition successfully, find a new partner that is more accepting, or replace whatever it is you lost, even if it is different, and manage to live a full and happy life?...Then it will certainly feel more than worth it when you look back.

...

It just won't feel worth it while you are going through it
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So in relation to your question? I would say that the grass can be greener, but only if you put in the effort to make it so.

Hope that helps ^^;

Ot is always a loss and always a win. You loose alot and ypu win a lot. For me the risk existed to loose my complete family and my job. Because of my social anxiety as male I have not so much friends. I was aware of the riskbut to me it is clear that I did not had a live like is should have been.
I win alive like it should be. I have to build up a new social live and I have to reconnect to my family and I still have a job risk. But for me it is worth the risk. Now I am connected to my emotions, I am able to socialize and I am recognized as female by the society. It all depends how much power one has to start anew life. It costs a lot of power and I have to be very flexible.

Lara

Sure I worried about the other side (or whatever any of us call it).  But the need to transition was so compelling there was no stopping, or holding back.  At the time my decision was made I had run out of options and I no longer cared how the end would look, yet it turned out beautiful after many months of hardship. 

I won't sugar coat anything because it was sometimes a living hell.  But, "Damn, I love it here."

I've got to say, looking back looks a lot different than it used to, looking forward. When I was in denial about my true gender, my life was miserable. I honestly thought that was how people were supposed to feel. It was my "normal," and I assumed it was everyone else's, too. It didn't even feel like misery, most of the time. As odd as it may sound, you can be miserable and not know it, if it's all you've ever felt.

Then, even after I accepted that I wasn't happy in my birth gender, there was a long period of time where I just felt like, "Well, I'm stuck in it. There's no way I'm ever going to look even slightly female. No point in even trying."

All I can say is, thank god I got over that. I was only thinking of my physical transition back then, because I thought that would be the only thing to change. To my great shock, the social anxiety I felt when I had to live as a man is rapidly disappearing. I actually know how to talk and interact with people now! I had no clue it was a symptom of being the wrong gender. I thought it was something I'd always have to deal with. That alone makes the whole thing worth it to me.

I love these kinds of questions ^_^ (I mean that sincerely)

Is the grass greener? Well it depends on how you define "greener". So I'm gonna break it down as much as I can:

Is life easier: F*** no. Its twice as hard now than it was BEFORE.... but now I can actually deal with it with a stable head on my shoulders and a more positive outlook as opposed to being "too depressed to get out of bed and wanting to kill myself for every insignificant detail of my life".

Is life better: much. I say better in the sense that I can SEE my future now... its not a clear future but its a horizon... which is a start to looking ahead and seeing nothing but fog. I can get up in the morning and know that all the crap i've had to deal with for the last 20-something years was the slingshot that shot me into this heavy decision. I'm an emotional mess and i cry all the time and I'm always cold, and I have to get up earlier to put on make up and my hygienic process has become tediously elongated.... but I love it.

Whether you're a man or woman, there are gonna be challenges, its how you are able to deal with those challenges that make all the difference. When i think about the friends I lost, the "places I can't go to", the people who prefer to not talk to me, the stares I get from people in my area... it pales in comparison to waking up every morning and feeling like I don't deserve to be alive. I often worried the same thing to; What if i'm worse once i transition?... but then I am reminded about how everything I was, was just an elaborate ruse i put up for the sake of trying to blend.... none of it was done out of enjoyment... thats not to say I didn't have fun times when I was male... but I wasn't happy with myself in the slightest, and I placed such little importance in my life that I had convinced myself that my death would be better for everyone I love and myself, instead of transitioning and living a happy life being happy with who I am... Luckily i managed to stop listening to those thoughts...

Before and at first, i would think: why can't I be normal? My life would be so much easier if I were just happy as male

but now I think: Why can't people just let me be? Life would be so much easier if people stopped dictating my life.

As Kathyk said; "sometimes it's a living hell" (and thats an understatement hehe), but in this hell, I'm Satan  (she obviously didnt say it like that, but i thought i'd add my own flare)

I don't think it's greener just less weeds