What do you do if you love someone from your past (back when you were attractive) and you never told them. And they're single (been single all this time) but you're ugly now? Or not just ugly, but the wrong gender now? I guess you forget. But it's not that easy.

Do you talk to them? Try to be friends at least? What would you do if you were 99% sure you were going to end up in a nursing home at 90 telling the nurse this story? Because it has been nearly 20 years already and you never apologized. You now know you are going to die with this. You know. You've seen yourself in the nursing home tormenting the nurses with this story. It's the story that doesn't die. Everyone who has ever been remotely close to you since the age of 17 knows it. It never gets old. It never dies. But it will When you do. But how long do you still have to go? 40, 50 years? Longer? How long have you already gone? Nearly 20? Can I bear another 20?

Maybe if you apologized it would end. but would it?

Don't pre judge the reaction of this person. Talk to them now, while you still can. What's the worse that could happen, I mean you are already feeling bad about it. Maybe the reaction would be positive, could you handle that? People spend large amounts of money in casino's with the odds far worse for a positive outcome. Talk to this person now, don't pass on not knowing. Regret is a terrible burden to carry, the burden could be lifted with a phone call. Ever think this person has been single thinking the same thought's as you? It's possible.

Quote from: FA on March 16, 2014, 06:10:54 PM
Maybe if you apologized it would end. but would it?

It would be a start, not an end. And sometimes, a start is all you need.

The past has gone and cannot change, the future is available, you cannot know what the reaction will be unless you contact them.

You never will know until you do and we know it tears you apart.

Maybe you need to find out for your peace of mind.

If it really is bothering you, maybe just getting it out would be a relief?   If you really really feel you need to say something, then why hold it in?  And you'll never know how they'll react until you reach out.   And don't say you're not attractive.  I believe there is beauty in everyone and what's on the outside doesn't always reflect a persons total attractiveness.  And if you feel so strongly, what do you have to lose?

I sometimes reflect on someone from my past that I loved, but could never tell.  I was the wrong gender and knew they would never ever feel the same as he was a straight guy.  But in a way, I regret never sharing how I felt and knowing we'll never see each other again makes it harder.  It's a tough topic and causes mixed emotions.  Though I think the regret is worse than any potential embarrassment at times.  I don't know.

I've been of the opinion that if it's something you really feel deep down that you needs to be said then do it. There are conversations I wish I had in the past that I'm no longer able to. While I don't know if any good would have come out of them at least things would have been said and I wouldn't always wonder.

What would prevent you from telling them? I've told everyone I've grown to love that I love them. I've never been able to help myself.

"The one that got away" is a horrible feeling, whether it's a friend, a lover, or an opportunity.

It always feels better to know that you did all you could on your end.  You might not get the resolution you want, but you WILL get a resolution.

It's like Schrodinger's cat- while the box is closed you'll never know if the kitty's alive or dead. Open the box and find out. (And for god sake, if its dead, don't touch it. That's how you get diseases).

Good luck. Cheers.
-Tegan