is not sure or doesnt want to have srs? I don't want this topic to be a debate, i want to hear from some people, if they don't exist, oh well.

Quote from: asiangurliee on August 17, 2007, 02:21:51 PM
is not sure or doesnt want to have srs? I don't want this topic to be a debate, i want to hear from some people, if they don't exist, oh well.

I debate it a bit. It's just not the end-all, be-all thing for me. I realize some people totally hate and are disgusted by their genitals, but I'm more like, "Huh. Well THAT looks stupid."

I DO really, REALLY want to be able to have intimate relations again... without feeling totally embarassed and humiliated by erections and male parts. Geez, I had a dream the other night about hugging this girl I know (not sexually), and that it got in the way, and I was afraid she'd notice it... and I woke up crying. It's just so humiliating, it's like this barrier between me and being able to show affection.

But I worry about messing around with the critical plumbing down there (medically I mean, not emotionally). I have this phobia about kidney stones and not being able to pee... like the idea of catheters... OMG, I better be out COLD when they do that. Shudder.

But I DO want to be legally female too. And feel... congruent. Others have mentioned that they feel more and more a need for SRS as their body morphs, and I seem to be the same way. It made more sense on a male-ish body, but now... it looks kinda silly down there, lol.

~Kate~

I know I'm certainly not going for SRS. Who was it, anyway, who decided that only men have penises and only women have vaginas? Honestly, does it matter to you what you have? You know you're a woman, assumedly, so why should anyone else tell you any differently? I don't see any point to going through needless pain, suffering, and financial hardship just to mold a little bodily tissue. It doesn't make any difference. If you find someone to love, who loves you, they shouldn't care what you have in your pants... and if they do, it might be time to re-evaluate the relationship. Do what is best for you.

Dino
Gender Vigilante

It really depends on who you talk to if they want SRS or not. I have a very good friend who has decided not to undergo SRS (some of it for medical reasons, and some other personal reasons). She's just getting and orchendecomy (spelling?). Sadly, some people in the Trans community bug her because of her decision. As for myself, I fully support her in what she wants to do for herself. It's a very personal decision and one that I respect.

A woman is a lot more than her body parts. To devalue a woman and her experience as a woman into just body parts is insulting. A woman is a woman, regardless of her body parts.

As for myself, I am going to have SRS soon. SRS is important for me, but not for everyone. Intimacy plays a part of it, and so do other issues. Having a penis, for example, feels awkward and out of place for me, so I'd like to have the correct genitalia. Correcting my body parts is my choice and the direction I want to go.

My transition as a whole has been what makes me a woman --- living, doing regular things, and just being who I am. My experience as a woman is what validates me, not my body parts. I don't walk around with my pants down to prove to everyone that I'm a woman, and I doubt I'll do that after my surgery. Surgery for me is a small part of my transition, more like a finishing touch. It's still very important for me to go through, because I want that for myself. I also think that it is an important segment in my womanhood, but not the end-all-of-be-all.

I know people who have had SRS and who have chosen not too. One is a very close friend, and a few others I've met from time to time. I've always seen my friend as a woman and just because she hasn't had and doesn't want to under go SRS it doesn't change a thing. She is much more than her body parts, and she's a beautiful soul no matter what's on the outside.

Choose what is best for you, and ignore those who make a stink about it.


--natalie

Quote from: Kate on August 17, 2007, 02:39:42 PM

Quote from: asiangurliee on August 17, 2007, 02:21:51 PM
is not sure or doesnt want to have srs? I don't want this topic to be a debate, i want to hear from some people, if they don't exist, oh well.

I debate it a bit. It's just not the end-all, be-all thing for me. I realize some people totally hate and are disgusted by their genitals, but I'm more like, "Huh. Well THAT looks stupid."

I DO really, REALLY want to be able to have intimate relations again... without feeling totally embarassed and humiliated by erections and male parts. Geez, I had a dream the other night about hugging this girl I know (not sexually), and that it got in the way, and I was afraid she'd notice it... and I woke up crying. It's just so humiliating, it's like this barrier between me and being able to show affection.

But I worry about messing around with the critical plumbing down there (medically I mean, not emotionally). I have this phobia about kidney stones and not being able to pee... like the idea of catheters... OMG, I better be out COLD when they do that. Shudder.

But I DO want to be legally female too. And feel... congruent. Others have mentioned that they feel more and more a need for SRS as their body morphs, and I seem to be the same way. It made more sense on a male-ish body, but now... it looks kinda silly down there, lol.

~Kate~

I am not attracted to women, but i can understand what you are saying. Surgery freaks me out and i am afraid something will go wrong too. I do feel a bit embarassed about my part, but it is not enough of a drive to make me do anything. We will see..

Thank you Kate and Dean. I agree with the both of you.

Quote from: DeanO on August 17, 2007, 02:40:28 PM
Who was it, anyway, who decided that only men have penises and only women have vaginas?

Its always been like this.  Our culture.  Our society.  Peeps in general.

Quote from: DeanO on August 17, 2007, 02:40:28 PM
Honestly, does it matter to you what you have?

It does to me.  I am a woman in all the sense of the word. I want to be a woman in every sense of the word not only psychologically. That includes having the physical characteristics, including genitals of a female.

Quote from: DeanO on August 17, 2007, 02:40:28 PM
You know you're a woman, assumedly, so why should anyone else tell you any differently?

Im not doing it for people.  Im doing it for myself.  Its traumatizing to see the genitalia of a man knowing that I am not one.  It is me.  not people who Im listening to.

Quote from: DeanO on August 17, 2007, 02:40:28 PM
I don't see any point to going through needless pain, suffering, and financial hardship just to mold a little bodily tissue. It doesn't make any difference.

It does make all the difference to me.  The point is that being 100% female in body and mind is imperative for myself.  I cant be a hybrid between the two sexes.  Its traumatizing and cant put up with it.

Quote from: DeanO on August 17, 2007, 02:40:28 PM
If you find someone to love, who loves you, they shouldn't care what you have in your pants... and if they do, it might be time to re-evaluate the relationship.

Old cliche.  Not quite accurate most of the time. The point is not the person but how I feel myself knowing that I have male genitalia.

Quote from: DeanO on August 17, 2007, 02:40:28 PM
Do what is best for you.

Clever advice.  The best is what works for you.  Not having genital reconstruction does not work for me.  But if it works for you, who am I to impose my beliefs on other peeps?

Hi Asiangurlee,

I guess I'm both a pre-op and a non-op. I'm definitely having my tits removed but nothing done to the genital area. I have no desire for anything 'extra' attached to my body. No fake nut sac, no fake penis.

Besides that area is just not something to mess with. I mean the last thing I need is to develop pissing problems. And even with clitoral release, there's a chance of loss of orgasm. Any chance is too much for me. Nothing is worth that risk. If I lost my ability to orgasm, I'd eat my gun.

Quote from: Nero on August 17, 2007, 10:12:32 PM
If I lost my ability to orgasm, I'd eat my gun.

Oh, Nero, don't do that.  Your hair would break out in bangs!

Kristi

Quote from: Nero on August 17, 2007, 10:12:32 PM
Hi Asiangurlee,

I guess I'm both a pre-op and a non-op. I'm definitely having my tits removed but nothing done to the genital area. I have no desire for anything 'extra' attached to my body. No fake nut sac, no fake penis.

Besides that area is just not something to mess with. I mean the last thing I need is to develop pissing problems. And even with clitoral release, there's a chance of loss of orgasm. Any chance is too much for me. Nothing is worth that risk. If I lost my ability to orgasm, I'd eat my gun.

I dont like fake stuffs either, that means I will never get breasts implant. It depends on your needs and desire, really.  If sexuality is important to you, than yeah, you have to look at the risks.

I just wish there is a magic surgery where everything will be good and well.

I don't think I would, For one! I'm worried about my age, by the time I'd be ready for it, it would be several years down the road and that would put me well into my 50s.
Besides that I don't think that it's necessary to have surgery for me to feel like a woman. I don't believe that it would change who I am and what sex I identify with.


Ps. I would consider getting FFS, possible hair transplant( if needed) but not Breast Implants, I'd like to try and grow my own    If I ended up to be a large A or B cup, which I could very well accomplish, I could live with that. 

For me it's all or nothing. Even before I comprehended what sex was, right about when I knew there were "different" genders, and especially when I knew what a sex change- srs- gender reassignment/reaffirming surgery was... I know I won't be complete without it.

Quote from: Christine Eryn on August 18, 2007, 02:45:18 AM
For me it's all or nothing. I know I won't be complete without it.

u gotta do what u gotta do though.  there aint a wong anser