Quote from: Polo on March 20, 2014, 05:30:53 PM
Thanks for the replies, guys. I've known I wasn't a girl ever since I was little, but actually physically and socially going to the other end of the spectrum has only been in the forefront of my mind for about a year and a half (I thought I was Andro for a long, long time). I guess I'm just making sure that I'm sure before I begin anything permanent (not to mention breaking it to my parents).
I felt the same way for a LONG LONG time about being Andro. It took me several years before I realized it wasn't being Andro that made me happy, it was the fact that I wasn't really seen as female. Once I realized that, it was a small step (for me!) to realizing it was being called "he, Sir, him, ect" that was what made Andro appealing for me. Luckily, I can pull off Andro easily, but unluckily, being so Andro a lot of the times tips the scales the wrong way and I get "she, her, Ma'am, ect"
It was that realization (and depression) that sent me to a therapist. It was another year before I could vocalize that I wasn't happy being Andro to my therapist, and that I needed to take it that next step. It's been another six months in therapy, several letters, and an extremely AWESOME Endo that's finally helping me get to where I want to be, but I'll be totally honest. The entire time up until I took my first shot (and I've only taken one) I was thinking, "am I doing the right thing? is this what I REALLY want? what if I'm screwing something up???" but after a LOT of soul searching, experimenting with names, pronouns, personas, ect, that I knew it was right, and after taking that first shot, I haven't felt so "right" in a long long time.
I still do dress Andro a lot, but I've started getting rid of some of the clothing that borders "feminine" (to me) as well as lesbian, because, well, I'm gay, and while lesbians are awesome, I'd rather have them as friends instead of hitting on me :p
Just my .02 cents, and hopefully it helps a little bit.