I am not quite sure how to start this so here goes. As I have said before here I am trying to lose a lot of weight before starting HRT. Plus it will give me more therapy time with my therapist also. Along with my diet and some serious will power it is working... I am also going to the gym three times a week which brings me to what happened today.

My trainer, who is my guess in her mid 20's is a very free spirit to say the least and quite motivated... One of the things I am worried about in going to the gym is I want to lose the weight, not end up looking like "Arnold"... During our session I voiced that concern and frankly just came out and told her the plan. Needless to say given I am still very much in boy mode as I have heard it called here, she was a bit shocked but actually handled it pretty good and was very accepting. ( I think?) Myself I was frighten to death...

Anyway here is the point I am trying to make... I have no real friends I can come out to per say except my SO, and I fear that will be a complete train wreck and I am not ready to deal with that until I have too, which I know is coming. The LGBT groups I am attending have strict policies as to interaction outside of group, which I understand completely. But with that said I really need a shoulder to cry on and someone I can talk to that is not in a controlled environment so to speak.

I live in the San Diego area which is very, well excepting for lack of a better word. I was just wondering where and how you girls found that interaction that I find myself really needing right now.

The more you come out the easier it becomes...

At my first coming outs I used to be really nervous wondering what will happe etc
its been a year and now I dont really mind I have accpted myself and I just say it when I get the chance...

for example I was with a friend and had to take my pills
shes like
"what pills are those?"
"oh im taking hormones"
"oh right , I can see why you re taking male hormones"
"male hormones lol no way these are female"
"wait why are you taking female hormones"
"isnt it obvious?"
"ooooh"

these kind of situationsXD the more you come you might even get to fun situations...
but if you worry about people not accepting you thats hardly the case , most people dont mind...
so do what you need to do and come out to when you feel that you need to...

If you re missing friends start new things...learn a language etc etc
its easy to meet people like this

I meet people all the time at starbucks. Its kind of fun because my physical changes are becoming more evident and people mostly are pretty accepting, I've been around the area for 15 years so people see the changes.

While I understand the concept and I really do, it just seems awkward to say the least because I still look like a guy. I mean think about it... It's kind of hard to meet someone and start with "By the way I'm Veronica and I am transgender". Yes a little over the top, but you get my point I hope. Especially still in boy mode. I guess I am just really emotional right now. I am usually very strong, but at the moment I feel very vulnerable.

Quote from: Veronica M on March 24, 2014, 05:53:08 PM
While I understand the concept and I really do, it just seems awkward to say the least because I still look like a guy. I mean think about it... It's kind of hard to meet someone and start with "By the way I'm Veronica and I am transgender". Yes a little over the top, but you get my point I hope. Especially still in boy mode. I guess I am just really emotional right now. I am usually very strong, but at the moment I feel very vulnerable.

Well some people will understand even if you are in boy mode, its what on the inside that counts after all.

Quote from: FalsePrincess on March 24, 2014, 06:01:24 PM
Well some people will understand even if you are in boy mode, its what on the inside that counts after all.

Thank you very much for your words of encouragement. I am going to make a point of getting out and finding friends for sure... Being somewhat of a introvert it's kind of tough. I guess the girl is really starting to come out because I really could have used a shoulder just to cry on earlier today. I will be glad when Thursday gets here as I always feel so much better after talking with my therapist... She is really helping me to wrap my head around the whole concept of finally coming out and following through.   

Quote from: Veronica M on March 24, 2014, 08:06:20 PM
Thank you very much for your words of encouragement. I am going to make a point of getting out and finding friends for sure... Being somewhat of a introvert it's kind of tough. I guess the girl is really starting to come out because I really could have used a shoulder just to cry on earlier today. I will be glad when Thursday gets here as I always feel so much better after talking with my therapist... She is really helping me to wrap my head around the whole concept of finally coming out and following through.

Τhats nice to hear
Anyway its nice to feel that you can be yourself even if you are not presenting...for example its different to be with a group of people that consider you a normal cis guy and different to be with a group of people that ,even though they see a guy on the outside, understand and accept your feelings even if you are not presenting it feels that you can somehow be yourself..

Okay, so I actually have been making some progress. I went to the, well for lack of better word, the local gay community area and just hung out a bit. Did a little shopping and what not. Hung out at the park for a bit. I did meet a few people and the conversation lead to one thing or the other. Nothing specific mind you but I did have a conversation with a guy and told him I was coming out as a women. We talked for a bit and it was quite pleasant. Yes he was obviously gay but that's okay and he was very understanding. I am by no means ready to hook up mind you and a relationship is as far away from my mind as Pluto is from the sun, but it was nice to just be able to talk with someone as the real me without having to be all macho and stuff. Anyway, just thought i'd share that.