Thank you all for taking the time to answer
so my spouse (I am married to her 13 years) who seed my condition deteriorating... asks what shw should do with sex once the HRT gives it's effect.
what should I answer?

(in each direction ..I see black....help)

I learned to do amazing things using my hands. Some secrets:

1. Touch her clitoris gently but repeatedly about twice a second. This will help her reach the right level of arousal. You'll know this happens when you feel her hips starts to squirm.

2. There is a spot on the roof of her vagina (the surface further forward) where the clitoris widens. It's usually just slightly less than an inch in, but you'll have to explore (part of the fun). You'll know it because of the pleasure she has when you touch it gently. When you find this spot, continue to touch it rhythmically, while you're attuned to her movements and the sounds she's making. From those you'll be able to tell if you're doing it properly or if you need to adjust. While you're doing this, it helps to be using the rest of your body to make the rest of hers feel good. A tongue laterally across a nipple, or even just gentle kisses across her ear and the side of her neck can help the mood along. Cheeks and lips are sensitive too, but keep moving, and keep her guessing where you'll go next.

3. Have patience. Female orgasms are hard to reach, and she'll need to bring herself there. All you're doing is providing the motivation, by giving her a lot to be aroused about.

4. When she finally climaxes, imagine you can feel the waves of pleasure washing over your body as well.

I don't think anyone came away from that experience dissatisfied.

Good luck. I hope it helps.

When the effects of HRT (full dose) take hold your desire for sex (mental will be the same). Your need for daily release will be gone.

You will need stimulation to achieve an erection. Legs, stomach, nipples and penis. Some very very gently oral will help too. (my penis head is 100 times more sensitive now)

I come 1 time to my wife's 2 and it takes concentration and fantasy, sex now takes time. ( I have had no intercourse this year but took Cialis 3 times because now we need to plan ahead butshe did not feel up to it, tired or too full). Spontaneous sex may be gone if you need Cialis.

Oral to a female, I will add one item, if during the oral session  suck on the clitoris it will drive her to instant orgasm. I keep continuous suction for a minute and she goes into complete ecstasy.

It just takes me a little more time: time to get hard and a longer time to orgasm.  I use that time by warming her up (see above).

I have found now that my testicles have gotten smaller that certain positions are more fun.

If I have problems, my wife plays with my breasts.  OMG!

Have Fun,

Jen

Too much information?   

Cynthia and JLT,
I was happy to read that you are exposed to cooperation from your spouse. it made me happy and gave some hope.
the wife doesnt show some rejection?
Cynthia -before I had also harsh need to wear women clothes. you think that desire will go away?
thank you

Three months into HRT I have found that everything still works, but the desire for full sex is not there like it used to be. We cuddle and kiss and touch a lot, and mostly it stops there and we're happy with that.

I guess it depends on the person, but as people have stated above in different ways, there are various ways to have sex

you might be able to find some more visual fingering tutorials if you search around a little. i managed to find one by taka katou on youtube once.

many women are just as interested in their man's fingers as his penis, if he knows how to use them well. you're not a guy, but a woman can learn to use her fingers as well. some spots are more easily stimulated with fingers, so it's worth trying and learning even for people who do have a functional penis.

Quote from: __________ on March 24, 2014, 07:26:24 PM
Too much information?   

Tee hee

Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on March 24, 2014, 06:12:11 PM
When the effects of HRT (full dose) take hold your desire for sex (mental will be the same). Your need for daily release will be gone.

^^^
This

Women can have very large sex drives, trans women are no different.

I found at around 5 months that I had become easily multiorgasmic. Not sure if it is due to less of the daily release or what, but it seems like it's here to stay

Desire for wearing cloths, I do not know it the desire will go away. I do know that at 10 months my dysphoria is 10% of what it was pre HRT. I wear panties and a sports bra and I would like to wear some cloths but the desire for what I want to wear has not changed.

I see myself in panties, fitted jeans and a top, sneakers and boots (low), sweats and leather jacket. I use to dress this way in the 1st 3 years of college. The desire has never gone away. I never desired a dress or a skirt but I admire floral dresses and skirts.