I was wondering if others have experience to share specifically about coming out to business and professional contacts who are NOT current employees, employers, supervisors, etc.  In other words, potential references, peers in the same industry, former employers, etc.   I have a ton of these on Linkedin, all of which I have warm and positive past professional contact with in various capacities.  What I'm wondering is how, whether, and to which ones I should eventually come out.  I'm fairly early in transition (6 mo. on Hrt, mostly dressing female) but am not really working right now (on a voluntary haitus from my profession) except one day a week as a consultant, and I dress androgynously for that.  I'm just a little confused - I don't want to ruin potential references but then again, I don't want to just burn all my professional bridges by just bailing on all those relationships, either. 

Any anecdotal experience / mistakes / lessons others here have learned that they can share?

I'm a schoolteacher, so the situation isn't really the same, but I had some parents contact me about stuff before the school year began and I had to communicate with them via email. I simply signed my name with my new female name (which was on my email anyway) and then followed the signature with (formerly <my old first name>).

If you're not normally in contact with them, my thoughts are that your best bet might to make it low key but leave it open to further communication. A quick email something like "Hi Tom. I thought you'd want to know that as of June 31, 2014, my new legal name will be Thea ... and I will be using Ms. instead of Mr. when I'm addressed. Please give my best to your family. I hope we will continue to stay in touch."

My experience was very positive. In fact if it were not for the fact that an old boss of mine referred me to a new company, I wouldn't have gotten a new job so easily.  I went to a few old employers and gave them my name change so if a background check service called for info they wouldn't be like "who???". All in all the experience was positive with no problems from old employers. My only problem turned out to be my education certification that was still in my old name. In fact I was still amazed 3 years full time and my old name would pop up from time to time.