Have you guys ever been asked a really dumb question about something transition related? And I don't mean to disrespect those who genuinely don't understand something, but there are times when a question really is just stupid and/or inappropriate. For example, last week a friend of mine asked me 'what I do' in the mens bathroom. What the heck does he think I do? Even if (in his mind) I can't use a urinal, there are stalls, so I might understand it more coming from a woman who's never been in a men's bathroom (although it should be obvious that a men's bathroom would have stalls, and it's still kind of an invasive question), but he's a guy so what's his excuse? I mean it's pretty much common sense. Sorry for the slight rant but for some reason I just found that question really irritating.

Anyone else been asked such questions?

Yep.  Though most don't ask me stuff like that anymore I've known a few people who ask the most stupid questions.  There was one girl who asked stupid junk like that all the time.  She wasn't all there though I'm certain because when she asked me what I do in the bathroom, I said, "I'll tell you but first, tell me what you do in the bathroom, do you sit or stand, pull your pants down a little or pull them all the way around your ankles", etc. and she actually tried to answer and got this really confused look. 

Of course.  I came out in college and everyone asked me questions.  People I barely knew suddenly were talking to me all the time just out of curiosity.  I think that people hate (or make fun of) what they don't understand, so by helping people understand trans things better it makes them more likely to offer support or acceptance to other trans people down the line.  Like "oh I knew a trans kid who was really cool let me not laugh at/tell this transphobic joke"  I tend to try to answer any question I can as honestly as I feel comfortable doing so.  I always answer, but sometimes it does't really answer their question I bet.  I also try to add a "not all trans people... but I..." type clause so that I'm not putting a false impression in their minds that all trans people do things the same way.  Sometimes I'll even offer up what different options of dealing with things are.  I've never gotten a bad reaction or intentionally offensive questions using this open-type approach.  Partially I'm lucky to have been around great people, but I really thing you're going to catch more flies with honey... or ... Kill them with kindness? ... whatever

If its a super dumb question like the restroom question I tend to try to let them know that in my answer to the restroom question I'd probably say "... the same thing I'd do in any bathroom?"   They usually realize how dumb the question is.  You could also say something like "well.. I go in... go into a stall.. do my business.. wash my hands.. and then leave."  and even add on "some transmen choose to use devices to allow them to stand at the urinals to pee.  I think they're super uncomfortable, so I just use the stall."  I don't necessarily think of any of that as being "too personal" though  I guess I just have odd boundaries. 

My mother actually really freaked out and somewhat had a meltdown, and I couldn't figure out what it was until basically she tearfully asks "What do you do in the men's room!?" and I'm just like...seriously. "Mom. They have stalls." "...oh."

My mom asked me whose penis I was getting. She's really.... My mom is not so smart, and she was genuinely curious. I don't think I've laughed that hard since forever.

I should add that being asked questions doesn't bother me. But, there are questions I can't help but laugh at.

Haven't received this kind of question yet. That's kinda funny. Of course there's toilets, even ignoring how many guys sit to urinate, you're not supposed to take a dump in urinals. Makes me wonder how bad they think men's public toilets really are - maybe these folks think guys just have to squat in a corner - they seem to have a disproportionately bad reputation as compared to women's. I don't hear people talk as much about how nasty the women's bathrooms get, but there's always urine all over the seat there too.

Quote from: Ayden on March 30, 2014, 06:54:39 PM
My mom asked me whose penis I was getting. She's really.... My mom is not so smart, and she was genuinely curious. I don't think I've laughed that hard since forever.

I should add that being asked questions doesn't bother me. But, there are questions I can't help but laugh at.

LMAO thank you that made my night!

Quote from: Ayden on March 30, 2014, 06:54:39 PM
My mom asked me whose penis I was getting. She's really.... My mom is not so smart, and she was genuinely curious. I don't think I've laughed that hard since forever.

I should add that being asked questions doesn't bother me. But, there are questions I can't help but laugh at.

that's hysterical

Gotta love your mother Ayden!!

--Jay

Jay: Oh yes. My mother is a lovable idiot. She's really sweet though. I've never met a nicer person. She's just... Special xD I love my mom.

Polo and Tomboy: my mother extends her embarrassed appreciation. I told her I shared this. Her words? "Really baby boy? You are .... You're a man aren't you? A gorgeous one but really?"

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