Are there trans friendly cities out there?

I did a search on the forum but couldn't find anything other than something from 7 years ago.

One of my fears, now that I'm transitioning, is about future housing.  I don't earn enough to live on my own (much as I would love to) unless I move.

I worry about looking for housing with housemates and being unable to find anything.

What have you all experiencing in regards to housing?

(I'm between 45-54) 

It's strange because even though concerns came up pre-transitioning they didn't feel as strong now that I'm actually transitioning. Mostly it's a great experience but it's also a bit intense in facing all the "what if's".   

They feel more real now. 

Let's see. San Francisco and Sacramento are fantastic. I won't dive into it too much since almost everyone knows about these places. No one is terribly judgmental in these places and there's a huge transgender/non-binary community. Many of the doctors & surgeons are trans* friendly and there's a lot of LGBT alliance centers. Downside, it's expensive.

Chico, California is a smaller town but the people there are usually extremely friendly to transgender people from my experience. It's close to both the cities above and has some very understanding & outright friendly doctors who will help. There's a place called Stonewall Alliance Center that offers individual counselling to anyone, regardless of their income and will give you letters of recommendation without paying session fees. It's a beautiful place. Downside, it's not a city but it's not a rural area either. There's a lot of obnoxious college students there that you would have to deal with. The housing is cheap, but seeking employment can be difficult but it depends on your work & education history.

Other than those... I can recommend Portland, Oregon. There's a pretty decent sized LGBT community there and people who would be willing to help you transition. The wonderful thing about Portland is that there's so much diversity and you can't get too bored. Within an hour from any direction, you can go to the beach or you can take a trip up to the snowy mountains and ski or snowboard. There's forests for camping ground, Japanese zen gardens, rivers & waterfalls, you name it. There's also the city and a big music scene. Now, depending on what kind of person you are, this might be a pro or a con. It's a hipster/artistic town. There's a lot of liberal people and hippies. Personally, I enjoy it but other people might not. Vancouver, Washington is only a fifteen minute drive away from there and they're about the same.

I can't really think of anything else.
Sorry that they're all in the States and on the West coast. I've been living in California with my girlfriend for awhile now, so it's all I can think about. 
Good luck, man!

Amazingly, Albuquerque NM. Very big trans population and very active trans center. Laws against discrimination on account of gender identity (which of course are not always maintained). University has very active LGBT center where the T is not silent. Housing is low cost (relatively). On the negative side, I think the job market is tight.

Climate is very hot, dry in summer. Moderate winters. Lots of outdoor activity if you like that sort of thing.

--Jay

Believe it or not (given the voting record) Alaska. I'm from there and the attitude is this; "your business is your business. Work and take care of you sh*t and we don't care." No LGBT support to speak of in Fairbanks, but you ain't gonna get hassled. I can get a job right now, with looking male and a big fat F on my ID. I can get housing too. If you pay your way, no one cares. Money is what matters. You pay your bills, no one cares. It's one of those places though. Cold as the day is long in the winter, but summer is beautiful. Only one doc who treats transfolk though. And no therapy. But if you want a roommate situation, in the outer areas (10 minutes out of town) in Fox, Ester, North Pole or like, you'll find tons of people. Don't ask, don't tell. I have friends who have only met their roommates once and it's no problem. Housing assistance (if you want to live alone) is easy to come by and there are a lot folk there willing to help. I can give you a dozen sources right now.

People go to Fairbanks to get away from the world. We all have something to hide. Don't poke too deep in anyone's business and us Alaskans are as sweet as can be. If you can work and keep to yourself, it's a great place. I've met people back home that no one here would believe. It's dangerous ONLY if you poke around. You just live your life though, it's one of the most welcoming places I've been. I've lived all over the US and I'd do back to Fairbanks in a heart beat.

Sir John Tristan--I used to live in SF and loved it. So many trans and non binary people it was amazing. I wish I could still afford it.  I'm considering Chico and/or Sacramento. i wonder about Las Vegas or the Palm Springs area also (warmer, lol).

Portland Oregon is an interesting option too although it sounds a big too expensive for me. I tend towards the blues in the rain. I'll have to check craigslist to compare rental situations. Thanks man!

Aleon515--I would love to move to NM. I don't know much about Albuquerque but it sounds great based on what you say. I like that there are laws about not discriminating. I'm not worried about the job market. I got that part covered. 

Ayden-who knew! I would not have guessed Alaska. But it makes sense based on what you say. How do you tolerate the long winters? Housing assistance sounds great. I'd like to live alone again. That is amazing that you can get a job while looking male but have that F on your driver's license. It gives me something to think about because that's one of the things I worry about. 

Quote from: TRyan on March 31, 2014, 12:46:27 PM
Sir John Tristan--I used to live in SF and loved it. So many trans and non binary people it was amazing. I wish I could still afford it.  I'm considering Chico and/or Sacramento. i wonder about Las Vegas or the Palm Springs area also (warmer, lol).

Portland Oregon is an interesting option too although it sounds a big too expensive for me. I tend towards the blues in the rain. I'll have to check craigslist to compare rental situations. Thanks man!

No problem! 
Yeah, Portland is a bit expensive, but Vancouver on the other hand has cheap housing and it's not far away. We're looking to move there in about a year from now because I'm a musician and would like to start pursuing a professional career there. It's about $600 a month. Though, if you get blues in the rain than I'd stay away from there.

Funny enough, I've lived in Las Vegas and Palm Springs as well, so I can add some input there.
Palm Springs as you can expect is very hot and humid in the summer. Beware of the Salton Sea smell. Every summer, there seems to be a leak of a dead fish smell that covers the area for a couple months. It's awful and caused me migraines. I lived there for about a year and it personally drained me. It's a funny place because most of the residents are conservative and Christian but there's an occasional "odd ball" in the crowd (artsy, other religion, liberal, transgender, gay-- anything different from the PS stereotype). The people are usually kind, but they can be a bit pretentious which isn't my cup of tea. There's a lot to do there though and especially for people who are over the age of 45. Great for swimming and sunshine. It hardly ever rains.

Las Vegas. What can I say about Las Vegas? It's unemployment rate is awful right now and has been for several years. It doesn't matter what degree you have or how young you are, there's just a lot of competition there to get work. The housing is also really expensive, most of the apartments start off at over $1000 and renting a house can be over $1700 a month. You're not under 21 years old, so fun wise, I'm sure you'd have a blast but it's definitely pricey there and little secret, most of the slot machines are rigged so you don't win. It's a party city. It's beautiful at night when you're driving downtown and looking at all the lights, but it eventually gets old and when you live there, you tend to avoid it. The crime scene isn't good and there's areas that I'd have to duck in to keep from getting shot. When I lived there, I lived in an upper class neighbourhood that had no crime rate but we woke up to one of our neighbours having a gun standoff with the police and I was almost shot (it flew right passed my chest). It has a good school system, if you have any kids or planning to have any kids, but the downside it almost every kid who grows up there loses their innocence early. There's porn on the sidewalks, for crying out loud. The weather is bipolar. It's sunny one moment and then it's storming the next. It's snowed randomly a few times which was wonderful, but then it never came again. It can be really cold or really hot and you won't know how to prepare for it until midday. Ah, I'm ranting at this point. My apologies.

TL;DR: a fun place to visit, but living there, I wouldn't recommend it.

Chico is actually pretty sunny and warm all year round surprisingly. It rains once in awhile, but it's really not all that common. The apartments range from $500-950 a month, so it's pretty cheap. The employment situation is better than the other cities that I went over, but because it's California, you can imagine that the employment rate is iffy. It really depends on your background though. I'm younger and partly disabled, so I'm not able to find work and my girlfriend is going to college part time, so it's also difficult for her to have the time to find work. Also, I forgot to mention that there's a lot of transgender workers here. One of the bartenders here is a transman & equal rights activist who's really cool. There's anti-discrimination laws against gay and transgender people & the Mayor proclaimed a TRANS* week annually to celebrate them. It's definitely my strongest recommendation for you. 

I hope that helps even more. There's a lot of places though, so keep an open mind about all of them. I would avoid the Southern/Middle states if you can afford it. They're really behind on the times and the discrimination there makes me sick. Again, good luck finding the place that's right for you. 

Sir John Tristan-Thanks so much. This is really helpful. That dead fish smell sounds awful. I think I'll pass on that. Thanks for saving me time and money in terms of checking out Palm Springs. I think I'll avoid Las Vegas too. I'm glad I asked.

I went to school in Chico. I too am partially disabled and can't work. It was a long time ago so can't remember (did a lot of partying at the time) but the more you're talking about it I think I'm going to try there. I heard there's less pollen there too? 

Way cool you have a GF. I hope to again sometime.

Quote from: TRyan on March 31, 2014, 01:40:16 PM
Sir John Tristan-Thanks so much. This is really helpful. That dead fish smell sounds awful. I think I'll pass on that. Thanks for saving me time and money in terms of checking out Palm Springs. I think I'll avoid Las Vegas too. I'm glad I asked.

I went to school in Chico. I too am partially disabled and can't work. It was a long time ago so can't remember (did a lot of partying at the time) but the more you're talking about it I think I'm going to try there. I heard there's less pollen there too? 

Way cool you have a GF. I hope to again sometime.

You're welcome! It feels good to help someone. I've been all over the map despite my age, so I might as well share my experience with people who are looking to move.

Oh, so you've lived in Chico! The pollen isn't that bad and I've heard from the other residents who've lived here longer than I have and they commented on how it's easier to breathe in the past few years. You might have to adjust to it for a couple of weeks, but it's nothing that Benadryl wouldn't fix. Honestly, I'm usually really sensitive to pollen but I haven't noticed it since I moved here. If you're unable to work, there's nice opportunities and programs here with people that have disability or paid community work. I would look into that. My neighbour has disability, but he does little chores for our apartment complex and it knocks down his rent.

I forgot to mention earlier that there is a lot of homeless and mentally "questionable" people here, but none of them bite. They're all pretty nice and are just trying to get back on their feet. There's a lot of homeless shelters and equal opportunity centers that aid people like that. I wouldn't worry about it too much, but it's something people should know before coming here. The bus line is fantastic if you don't have a car too.

I'm sure you'll find someone someday! Don't give up on that. Love is the most important thing there is, especially for people like us who often feel alone in their situation. I'm lucky to have her and we've definitely gone through hell and back after being a long distance couple for so many years, our families going against us, and us being temporarily homeless. With my disability and dysphoria, I wonder how she can put up with me, but with some miracle she does. We've been together for four years now and I never really had to "come out" to her. She always saw me as her man and she always identified as a heterosexual woman, so it was the best feeling in the world. We're planning on getting married one of these days, but for now, we're just focusing on our careers and dreams. Anyways, I'm not trying to get off topic here but you'll have it again. I'm sure. You sound like a nice guy.

Rhode Island (yes i'm going to say the whole state because its so small lol), is pretty lbgqt friendly. They are actually working with the lt. gov right now to get trans care fully insured by insurance by the end of this year, so surgeries will be covered. Hormones are covered also. trans friendly therapists and doctors here, there is a support group for people of all ages, the employment rate isn't the best though, but we are an hour away from Boston where there are more jobs, if you don't mind the commute. I can't say I've been discriminated in public places here or anything or feared for my life.

edit: also its really easy here to change gender marker on your license, we made it real simple even beating cali, you just print out a dmv form, have your therapist or doctor fill out the bottom part and bam, male or female on your license.

Sir John Tristan--Luckily I'm not afraid of homeless or people not too stable mentally. I spent so much time in SF that I'm used to it.  It sounds like you and your GF are both lucky to have each other. That's awesome that you are thinking about getting married. It's way cool that she has always seen you as her man.  Careers and dreams are good things to focus on (especially dreams--it's what gets us through).

Ryan55--That's cool about RI. I'll have to check the craigslist ads to see how much rent is there. It sounds like a good place all around. Surgeries covered?! That's totally awesome. I've been trying to figure out how to swing top surgery.  Way cool to about how easy it is to change sex on the driver's license. That's something I've been worried about (like how can I rent an apartment when it says F on my driver's license and all that stuff).  Cool--thanks!

Thanks TRyan for starting this topic since I've been looking for pretty much the same thing. From personal experience I know that Seattle, WA is really LGBTQ friendly, but the rain can be hard to take and it is pretty expensive to live there.

Quote from: Ryan55 on March 31, 2014, 05:52:59 PM
Rhode Island (yes i'm going to say the whole state because its so small lol), is pretty lbgqt friendly. They are actually working with the lt. gov right now to get trans care fully insured by insurance by the end of this year, so surgeries will be covered. Hormones are covered also. trans friendly therapists and doctors here, there is a support group for people of all ages, the employment rate isn't the best though, but we are an hour away from Boston where there are more jobs, if you don't mind the commute. I can't say I've been discriminated in public places here or anything or feared for my life.

edit: also its really easy here to change gender marker on your license, we made it real simple even beating cali, you just print out a dmv form, have your therapist or doctor fill out the bottom part and bam, male or female on your license.

This is great news since I've been looking for a New England state that is LGBTQ friendly, but isn't as expensive as NY and MA. I love the area but haven't been there since I've been seriously looking for LGBTQ places to move to so wasn't sure how friendly it was.