Being trans is affecting me.... badly. It is everywhere i turn. Its a real pain in the butt when you realize your true feelings. I don't know if it should affect me how it does, but it is and needs to be fixed. I'm not expecting something quick and painless. I realize what needs to be done to be the real Miyah. I'm having lots of trouble getting there though which was to be expected. My mother doesn't think it should be affecting me at all. it is. And if i don't do something to be the real me, my soul, my mind, my chances will all die and there's no way in hell im going to allow that to happen. I honestly just want to go outside and scream,

IM MIYAH DAMNT AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.

Lol yeah that would be fun.

So anyway that was a long winded way of saying i accept it, its affecting me (a lot), and I will not give up.

Hi Miyah! I hope you will find a good Therapist to help and guide you through this very long process. There are several ways they can do this and help you with developing exercises to keep you on an even keel. They are very valuable to have in your corner and can help with letters for HRT or SRS if you plan to go that far. Therapist's can also help integrate the new you into a better family acceptance level.

Quote from: Miyah48 on April 01, 2014, 11:10:15 AM
IM MIYAH DAMNT AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.

Lol yeah that would be fun.

So anyway that was a long winded way of saying i accept it, its affecting me (a lot), and I will not give up.

Good for you Miyah! And why shouldn't you say it? You're just being you. If people can't accept that; that is on them not you.

Quote from: Miyah48 on April 01, 2014, 11:10:15 AM
...
IM MIYAH DAMNT AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
...

Find someplace safe to yell that some day.

While at work a few years ago I was driving through a desolate mountain area and had to pull off the highway near an old horse corral.  I got out of my car, walked up to the edge of a steep bank above a creek and sat on a bench for a short time.  Then I yelled that I was transgender.  I couldn't keep it in any longer and it was time to accept it.  I really don't remember if I stood up before, or after saying it.  But you know it helped me feel better about myself because I finally said it out loud, and not just in whispered words.  And since nobody was around only a few elk grazing on hillside across the creek heard me.  Ahhh, my secret was still safe, but I admitted who I was.