Quote from: Veronica M on April 01, 2014, 11:16:31 PM
I really want to start HRT and my therapist has given me the go ahead, but at my weight right now I would look like a bowl of jello with boobs... 
But I have to admit I have found myself sitting different and my gestures have changed somewhat which to me is exciting to see. But yes when one is not out all the way yet one needs to pay attention... LOL...

I forgot to say that there is nothing like just going out en femme to make you quickly learn and improve because then it is "for real". One example: I was introduced to someone and I stuck my hand out without thinking and gave a guy handshake to another woman. Whoops! That lesson stuck and I have never done that since. Another example: When dressed as a girl and getting asked for your name after you order coffee from Starbucks you will get weird looks if you blurt out your boy name  I only did that one once too.

I know that going out seems a long way off to you right now, but it will arrive quicker than you will believe.

Quote from: mandonlym on April 01, 2014, 10:47:21 PM
One suggestion I would have is to take an adult acting class. I have an acting background and it really helped me transition relatively seamlessly.

That and your genetics.

Your advice is rather perfect, though.

Non actors think acting is lying. Study the craft and you discover you're learning to tell the truth.

hang out with girls...you ll soon forget everything

guy friends teach you how to be manly
girl friends teach you how to be feminine

My lovely spouse says I'm way more "girly" than she will ever be, she is more of a "northwest" girl with layers of fleece, jeans and not a dress or skirt in her closet...however, she is a very stunning, tall Nordic beauty and loves to give me advice on makeup, hair and other girl stuff.

She took this pic of me a few hours ago doing dishes lol,

Quote from: Veronica M on April 01, 2014, 08:50:12 AM
Well I have been here for a bit now and really haven't seen to much chatter to the subject of un-learning masculine behavior. Yea there have been tid-bits here and there but nothing specific. So here I am at 56 years old and have spent 45 of those trying to fit in as a guy... Believe me the mask is hard wired pretty good too. So here I am, I have finally accepted the fact that guy modes isn't working and has drove me almost to extinction. I say almost because three month ago It actually got to where it was being considered. Anyway, not wanting this I got myself into therapy and Veronica was born. That said I really do like her very much and not real fond of the other person but coping.

So here is my question... I have spent 45 years or so learning to hide my femininity and now that I am coming out. (Slow but sure) How did you girl un-learn all the behaviors you put up trying to fit into your male counterpart???

Think of it like learning to drive ...

The day you take your first driving lesson, you can't imagine how you're ever going to indicate, brake, press the clutch, change gear, steer, accelerate, change back up again ... just to go round a corner (BTW, I'm a Brit - well all learn on stick-shift!) Plus you've got to learn all the rules of the road, get used to looking out for other cars ... there's just SO MUCH to do.

Then you get good enough to take a driving test and if you concentrate hard you can do everything you have to do to pass.

Then a bit of time goes by. You're driving every day and suddenly you realise you don't have to think about it any more, you're just driving.

And that's how it will be for you as you un-learn masculine behaviour, struggle to be feminine, gradually learn how to walk, talk and behave like the women you are ... until it becomes automatic and you couldn't be male again, even if you wanted to.

Quote from: Eva Marie on April 01, 2014, 11:42:43 PM
I forgot to say that there is nothing like just going out en femme to make you quickly learn and improve because then it is "for real". One example: I was introduced to someone and I stuck my hand out without thinking and gave a guy handshake to another woman. Whoops! That lesson stuck and I have never done that since. Another example: When dressed as a girl and getting asked for your name after you order coffee from Starbucks you will get weird looks if you blurt out your boy name  I only did that one once too.

I know that going out seems a long way off to you right now, but it will arrive quicker than you will believe.

OMG... I could so see myself doing that. Then I would turn 15 shade of blush... LOL

_________________

@ mandonlym & Tori
While yes an acting class might be helpful, what I am projecting is not an act nor do I want it to be. It is more the clumsily male attributes I am trying to lose. But I think that will happen over time also.

Quote from: FalsePrincess on April 02, 2014, 01:11:27 AM
hang out with girls...you ll soon forget everything

guy friends teach you how to be manly
girl friends teach you how to be feminine

This actually is working the best for me. Sadly there are not many girls I know here local that know I am coming out. With that said however I have found a few trans girl here and I had no idea I could be such a chatty kathy... LOL

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Well said Carlita... That make a lot of sense...

And Michelle, you look stunning. You are a very lucky girl that your SO stuck it out with you. Many don't.

Even after years of HRT, I still have a short fuse. I'm nearly always upset when I drive because of ->-bleeped-<-ty drivers (ie: texting with both hands), and yell at the TV when playing video games. I used to be a lot worse though.

Quote from: Christine Eryn on April 02, 2014, 10:38:28 AM
Even after years of HRT, I still have a short fuse. I'm nearly always upset when I drive because of ->-bleeped-<-ty drivers (ie: texting with both hands), and yell at the TV when playing video games. I used to be a lot worse though.

Congratulations. Welcome to womanhood. Most of my (cisgender) girlfriends meet this description.

Quote from: Christine Eryn on April 02, 2014, 10:38:28 AM
Even after years of HRT, I still have a short fuse. I'm nearly always upset when I drive because of ->-bleeped-<-ty drivers (ie: texting with both hands), and yell at the TV when playing video games. I used to be a lot worse though.

OMG... I hope not... LOL... I am probably the most laid back person you could ever meet. At least until I get backed onto a corner... Then the claws come out... 

Quote from: Eva Marie on April 01, 2014, 11:42:43 PM
I forgot to say that there is nothing like just going out en femme to make you quickly learn and improve because then it is "for real". One example: I was introduced to someone and I stuck my hand out without thinking and gave a guy handshake to another woman. Whoops! That lesson stuck and I have never done that since. Another example: When dressed as a girl and getting asked for your name after you order coffee from Starbucks you will get weird looks if you blurt out your boy name  I only did that one once too.

I know that going out seems a long way off to you right now, but it will arrive quicker than you will believe.

You know that explains allot about why people look at me weird when I shake hands. lol it's little tid bits like this that many of us are not aware of and I enjoy reading this helpful info.

Can anyone else share things like this? Those "oh" learning moments.

I am used to people here balking at the concept of acting. Like I said and you confirmed, many think acting is lying. It really is learning to tell the truth.

What do you think the ladies here who actively work on their voice are doing?

What do you think your desire to unlearn masculine behavior is?

Is it lying? Is it fake?

A common early exercise for actors is called Finding Neutral. It is where you practice walking around, doing things... etc. without any of your common physical traits giving away who you are. Male me would do things one way. Neutral me would do things another. Once I have found neutral and eliminated all those male quirks, I can more easily work on female me. How Tori sits, gestures and does things.

I could go on for days. I have three degrees in the subject.

I understand acting is not everybody's cup of tea, but it is not the art of lying and being phony either.

A Tai Chi class would offer similar help.

Like RuPaul said. We are all born naked. Everything else is drag.

Quote from: Tori on April 02, 2014, 04:04:26 PM
I am used to people here balking at the concept of acting. Like I said and you confirmed, many think acting is lying. It really is learning to tell the truth.

What do you think the ladies here who actively work on their voice are doing?

What do you think your desire to unlearn masculine behavior is?

Is it lying? Is it fake?

A common early exercise for actors is called Finding Neutral. It is where you practice walking around, doing things... etc. without any of your common physical traits giving away who you are. Male me would do things one way. Neutral me would do things another. Once I have found neutral and eliminated all those male quirks, I can more easily work on female me. How Tori sits, gestures and does things.

I could go on for days. I have three degrees in the subject.

I understand acting is not everybody's cup of tea, but it is not the art of lying and being phony either.

A Tai Chi class would offer similar help.

Like RuPaul said. We are all born naked. Everything else is drag.

I'm sorry Tori... Actually an acting class isn't a bad idea... If I came off sounding like it was that was not my intentions. And you have some valid statements here also for sure...

No problem. I have heard similar responses to my suggestions since I first registered here.

I am just practicing explaining why acting can be a good thing, so I don't have to go through the "Acting is lying." part of the discussion every single time I mention it.

Besides, there tends to be more women than men in acting classes. Also performing artists are frequently very LGBT friendly. A great place to acclimate.

Quote from: Eva Marie on April 01, 2014, 11:42:43 PM
I forgot to say that there is nothing like just going out en femme to make you quickly learn and improve because then it is "for real". One example: I was introduced to someone and I stuck my hand out without thinking and gave a guy handshake to another woman. Whoops!

It's funny that you mention the handshake. I shake everyone's hand when I meet them, so I've given women a strong handshake on so many occasions (including when I was presenting as female). Sometimes they don't seem to care and other times they gave me odd looks. Never really knew if it was a social "faux pas" to give a woman a handshake like that.

Quote from: Tori on April 02, 2014, 04:32:31 PM
Besides, there tends to be more women than men in acting classes. Also performing artists are frequently very LGBT friendly. A great place to acclimate.

Good point...

I have a good one G Friends. I'm going to attend a 4 hour class on growing a vegetable garden. It's offered for free at a nice local public facility. I'll wager that I will be the only "male" person in class.   Maybe grow a nice garden since it's spring time.

For me with acting there's something about inhabiting a character other than me that helps with getting over the self-consciousness and hangups of being me in real life. So it's not having to portray myself as a woman, but how to portray that character who is a woman. Though it was definitely hilarious in terms of my first acting class as a woman and being assigned a scene where I had to kiss a guy in the class. That was a leetle awwwkward...

Welcome to acting 201!

Play a woman, learn to be a woman.

Surrender, laugh, and learn to be led while dancing.

Quote from: birkin on April 02, 2014, 04:37:38 PM
It's funny that you mention the handshake. I shake everyone's hand when I meet them, so I've given women a strong handshake on so many occasions (including when I was presenting as female). Sometimes they don't seem to care and other times they gave me odd looks. Never really knew if it was a social "faux pas" to give a woman a handshake like that.

What i've personally seen and experienced is that women don't really "shake" hands - they will reach out and take your hand but will sometimes cover it with the other hand, or hold your hand while looking you in the eyes. The grip tends to be relaxed.

A vigorous guy style handshake with a firm grip? I haven't ever gotten one from a woman, and that's what I did that one time before I caught myself. Duh!