I can't speak from experience, since I'm still pre-HRT, but I've been thinking about the topic in relation to just our human biology. Our mind may be the wrong gender in whole, but structurally there would be specifically male functions in our brains (mtf) that are primarily concerned with reproduction, and those sections of your brain are probably going haywire. It doesn't know your goal, you, personally, have the goal in mind, and so you need to try and calm down the less rational functions that are panicking on behalf of your birth gender.
Personally, I never wanted children, and yet, the idea of becoming sterile is terrifying. I blame it on these biological male functions, but I know what I want so I can override that panic. I hope you start feeling better soon <3