I think I'm feeling much more at peace with myself than in the past.  Realizing that I was transgender was pretty overwhelming at first.  It made me wonder what else I've been hiding from myself all these years.  Meditation has been helpful.  My parents are getting better at understanding what I'm going through.  They got me a couple compression shirts the other day (Tay recommended them).  It works pretty well.  I can wear some of my smaller t-shirts and not be self-conscious about my chest.  But it was a bit difficult to put on. 

I've been considering if I want to go on testosterone.  At first, I wasn't sure but now I'm more open to the idea.  Does anyone here have experience in that regard as an androgyne? 

I'm going to be going to school in Savannah next month, so I'll be in Georgia during the Southern Comfort (http://www.sccatl.org/) conference.  I want to go, but I'm not sure how I'll get there (or if I can afford it).  Maybe I can take a bus?  Has anyone been there before or is going this year?

One more thing.  How do I talk to my new roommate about myself?  It's not as simple as explaining lesbian or transsexual.  I don't know what to do.

Wow Pandapan,

   You're just going straight to the tough questions (from my perspective).  I think the roommate issue might be something I have advice on.

   If you're sure that your roommate will accept you as a lesbian or a transsexual, then I would think that you can start by using the blanket transgender label.  You can elaborate by explaining that you do not fall entirely into the male or the female category but somewhere in between or neither.
   I've been telling people that an androgyne is a person who identifies as both genders or neither gender.  They don't know what I'm talking about, but I'm fine with that.  I said the truth and if they have questions or observations, they can cough them up whenever they feel comfortable about it.


Have fun at that conference thing. I hope you find a way there.  I never heard of it, so thanks for the URL.


Rebis

I would say let the roommate have the power. if they bring it up, answer sensitively and truthfully and if they don´t, don´t bring it up yourself. That´s not hiding yourself in any way (I can´t even imagine how anyone could hide themself, they are using themself to do it) but it´s also not harumphing in and making your roomate listen to something that probably doesn´t interest them.

Quote from: pandapan on August 13, 2007, 12:49:08 AM
I've been considering if I want to go on testosterone.  At first, I wasn't sure but now I'm more open to the idea.  Does anyone here have experience in that regard as an androgyne? 

I think I considered it when I figured being a girl sucked... I must have been five or six years old... However, right now hormones seem to contradict my aspirations to nullify my body. You might want to talk to a former TS who started HRT, but figured they were Androgyne along the way. They possibly could give you a pretty good overview, and tell you about the point where they felt going further wasn't right.

As for the roommate thing, I'm probably not the best person to advice you on that since I'm rather blunt, and don't really care for what other's think. "You're binding your breasts!?"... "Yup.." And then I'd go my merry way being me, although answerring questions isn't a big deal

I've thought about it and talked to my counselor about it and I have come up with a list of things I would like and dislike about going on hormones.  As far as I know it would be possible for me to get a low dose so as to minimize its effects. 

GOOD: 
~ No menstrual cycle > no more need to use birth control to stop periods
~ Increased muscle mass > I could stand to gain some upper body strength as I have none
~ Increased energy and confidence > I'm terribly shy so that would probably help
~ Less body fat > I would love it if my breasts got smaller

UNDECIDED:   
~ Body hair > I'll shave it if it gets to be a problem
~ Increased sex drive > maybe I'll actually start giving half a damn about sex?

BAD:   
~ Risk of osteoporosis > would a calcium supplement help since I'm still young?
~ Risk of ovarian cysts > yeah I know.  yearly visit to the OB-GYN.  wonderful.
~ Women questioning me in the restroom > as long as I have my driver's license to prove I belong there I think I'll be okay


Does anyone have anything to add to the list?  Or find an inaccuracy?

If you're considering going on T, you may be asked to consider hysterectomy, to my knowledge.  I'm a little less knowledgeable there.  That does eliminate gyno appointments, I think, though.

As I understand it, going on T won't increase your risk of osteoperosis. Having a hysterectomy without going on some form of hormone-replacement will.

I really wish somebody would actually publish statistics regarding the incidence of ovarian cysts and pre-cancerous uterine cells and all that crap that supposedly can happen with T and makes a big faction of doctors suggest you get a total hysterectomy within five years of going on.

It won't really make your breasts smaller by enough to count for anything, so far as I know. It'll make them less firm. And it may make them seem smaller because the muscles of your shoulders and arms will get bigger.

I think what you're overlooking is that T, long term, is unlikely to make you look androgynous. It'll make you look male.

Doc's right. It's not likely to do anything but make you look male. I don't think there's a higher risk of osteoporosis and the ovarian cyst risk is unproven. You do put stress on your liver and have a higher risk of polycythemia (overproduction of red blood cells). You also acquire a male risk for heart disease and have a higher risk of high blood pressure.

Not really worth it for someone who isn't transitioning, imo. Plus there are the irreversible changes, voice, facial and body hair, clitoris size.

Dennis

Quote from: Dennis on August 19, 2007, 05:48:04 PM
Doc's right. It's not likely to do anything but make you look male. I don't think there's a higher risk of osteoporosis and the ovarian cyst risk is unproven. You do put stress on your liver and have a higher risk of polycythemia (overproduction of red blood cells). You also acquire a male risk for heart disease and have a higher risk of high blood pressure.

Not really worth it for someone who isn't transitioning, imo. Plus there are the irreversible changes, voice, facial and body hair, clitoris size.

Dennis

Let us not forget that Testosterone can cause a person to not only appear like Colonel Klink, but to also act like him as well.   

Quote from: Doc on August 19, 2007, 03:33:30 PM
As I understand it, going on T won't increase your risk of osteoperosis. Having a hysterectomy without going on some form of hormone-replacement will.

Yep. Likewise, having an orchiectomy without taking hormones afterwards will: roughly speaking, the bones need a sex hormone, but it does not matter which one. Even nature wants to force us into the binary system. 

  Nfr

Thanks for all the helpful information.  I kind of figured it wouldn't be right for me.  I'm just exploring the options.  But what could I viably do to make my body more androgynous and how do I convince the doctors that I need to?  If the only options I had were to transition or do nothing, I'd rather transition, but I don't think that's the case.  Am I right? 

Well, you can do exercise and diet to get less curvy. You can bind. Maybe you can get breast reduction surgery from your ordinary old plastic surgeon and without going through the transgender gatekeeping process at all. Maybe you can get ftm top surgery.