Just wanted to say hello to the community^_^

     I guess I'll just go through the questions posted for this thread and introduce myself. My name real name is Bree. I'm a trans woman, at the very beginning of my transition. I'm a very nerdy college student who plans to work for Nasa someday. I know it sounds very lol, but it's the truth. Like alot of people I dream of being able to travel into space, although the possibility for that is very slim. Seriously only about 500 people have ever been into space! But in any case I will be going through physics classes when I transfer.
    I've been out of the pink closet for about a year and a half now and I've been what you would call stuck. I've really haven't worked on myself at all really. I haven't been working, and honestly just been living a lonely, depressed hole for the past year. I haven't really wanted to go out much because I still look like a boy, but don't talk or act like one. All of this, however, is about to change.
    Learning about the cosmos, what some call "The Cosmic Perspective" has given my life such clarity. It's allowed not only for me to realize what things in life are really important, but also made me realize what I want to do with my life.
    When you realize that this world which holds everyone and everything you've ever known about is a tiny spec of dust in the ocean that is our Universe, it gives you such immense perspective on the harrasment and bull->-bleeped-<- that all of us have to face with on a daily basis. I admit that I'm not the best at letting harrasment go, sometimes it can really get to me. But when I remember how insignificant the whole thing is, it's hard for me to not let it go.
    Coming out has truly made me into an actual person. Before I came out to myself, I wasn't a real person, because I was constantly trying to lie to myself and others that I was this really masculine guy(Even though most people just thought I was a nerd, lol). After coming out to myself I've really discovered who I really am, and where I really want to go. Even though I haven't had any physical changes yet, the clarity of mentally transitioning to being myself has been amazing. It's transformed me from a suicidal, depressed disaster into a real person trying to face her problems.
    As ready as I am to move foward, I definitely still have some things to work on. I'm very shy and quiet in public. When I go out with people that I know I'm trans I'm usually more open and I'll wear makeup and everything. But when I'm out in public normally I'm very quiet and try to avoid people as much as possible. I know I have to change this as I especially need to get a job asap. I've been out of work and school for way too long, and as I don't have an support for transitioning or school and need to be able to pay for them.
    I hate to turn an introduction into asking for advice, but I could really use some advice and I'm not sure if I saw a place for it. I don't really know whether to go job hunting telling my potential employer that I'm female or saying that I'm male. Most of the people around me(including my most supportive people) have told me they think I should use my legal name and tell them that I'm male. On the flipside my therapist has told me that she thinks I should be honest to my potential employers and tell them my name is Bree. I like my therapist, but admittedly she doesn't have a lot of experience with trans people. The cat is out of the bag as far as trying to act "normal." I am who I am, and I can't change that. I really can't pretend to be someone else. So I figure I can either be honest with them about who I am, get my look together and wear makeup to cover up 5 o' clock shadow, or lie and tell them my legal name. To clarify being honest wouldn't entail be spout a story about ->-bleeped-<- in the interview, I mean tell them I go by bree, and wear makeup to cover 5 o' clock shadow. I already wear women's clothes that are most gender neutral, like jeans and a white button up top.
    I would obviously prefer to not have go with the male option, but if I'm being completely deluded please tell me so. As easy as it would be to pretend that I'm a guy, I just can't do it. I know it's the easy thing to do, but it just feels so wrong. It makes me feel so far beyond phony, that I trample on my own identity. Again I know what the easy option is so please do tell me if I'm being deluded, because I'm really unsure of what to do.
In any event, if you made it through my post, Thank You, and I hope to talk to you.

A big warm welcome to the family Bree! It will not take you too long to see this is true. We are like all families and get along sometimes, get irritated at times, but when it comes down to it we are there for each other. All of the information you get here is from REAL people at all stages of transition from still questioning to Post Op and everything in between. Feel free to rant, vent, share good news (we like that a lot), learn or just have some distracting fun and meet the rest of the family. Know that you are not alone with your feelings, fears and dreams as we all share them. You now have a huge support group who will do what they can to help you out. After 15 postings feel free to contact any of us directly for specific questions or just some talk. Here is a BIG HUG  to welcome you and make you feel right at home!

As for your question we just had a recent topic concerning what you asked. My opinion is for them to do a background check your legal name must be on the application. Most applications have a spot asking if you have ever been known by another name which is where Bree would go. I personally believe future employers should know of you plans for the future since you may need time off for any surgeries you would want. I think the honesty with them would win you points and not preclude hiring you. This is only my opinion though.


Please review

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar/post links and photos)
  
• Age and the Forum
  
• Reputation rules
  

Hi Bree,
Beautiful name.  And might I say, you have a lovely way of tying your cosmic knowledge into an image that presents perspective in regards to your search for personal happiness (Did that sentence work? I'm tired).

I think you should go with your instincts on this one, Bree. You want to present as Bree, so present as Bree. You'll be living and working as Bree eventually, so they might as well get used to her now, right?

Yeah, be Bree. I think you'll be much happier in the long run.  Besides, it's better to know right now how friendly your potential work environment is going to be.

I hope you make it to space! Bring me back some moon cheese.

Cheers,
Tegan

Edit: Or follow Jessica's advice. She probably knows a lot more than I do.

Don't forget the moon cheese!

I'm going with Bree on this one too, but I can see why you're concerned.
I saw that you have a history of depression and all that, and that all the pretending makes you feel uncomfortable. You seem to have been able to take the first step already and admit to yourself you're somewhere else on the gender spectrum than expected, and congrats on telling a few people, too. So glad you feel at ease with enough to BE Bree. Well, to be you.
Pretending sucks, so you shouldn't have to pretend anything anymore. Your employers will eventually know you as Bree, so why not start off on the right foot? I don't think you're being deluded

*Hug*

    Hey all, sorry it took so long to get a reply, I've been procrastinating a bit lately. So I guess I'll use the fact that I just moved as an excuse, lol.

    Well I've finally made a decision and after reading all of your replies I definitely now know that I have to go as myself. I realize now that it's pretty silly that I thought I had to act like someone else. I don't know why it wasn't so obvious before, I guess it was because that's what everyone else around me was saying. I'm of the philosophy that I can't stand the whole "going stealth" view that it seems like our community has had in the past. To me it's seems to be about as much b.s. as hiding your true identity, because I'm sure that's what it does to a lot of us. That being said I don't know what I was thinking before, and thank you for helping me realize what I need to do.
   So the good part is I spoke with my brothers girlfriend(The both of them are the most supportive of my transition), and I'm going to her school next week to basically get a makeover. She's to school to be an esthetician, and is also a trained makeup artist. So I'm going out next week to get my hair done, and get some waxing and stuff done. Then I'll be getting some more makeup, so I think I should be good to go for a job interview ^_^ Oh and I totally know everything about the name thing. Thank god I'm in California where they make it easy enough to get a name change and everything else. But in the meantime, almost every application I've filled out here asks first for your legal name, and then underneath they as what name you go by.

    @Jeccica Merriman: Hello to you too. I will definitely take your advice about finding a job, by any chance do you know where that threat was? I tried searching for it but I couldn't find anything, would it be under someone's name? This is really just a job to get me through college. I'm not saying I want to quit a job or anything, but it's not for my career or anything. However I do need to start making enough money to support myself for the next few years as I get through college, so I do think I need to put in a few years somewhere.

    @Sincerely Tegan: Thanks for your kind words, I love Tegan too^_^ I love names that aren't typical, people recycle names way too much, lol. I didn't even think about the fact that going as myself would lead help me find a supportive workplace, thanks. That's so awesome that your a cosplayer, I've been really wanting to get into it myself. I really want to go to comic-con as Dr. Girlfriend(with the Jackie O outfit) from The Venture Bros. I don't think I can message you or add you as a friend but I'd love to talk about it with you sometime.
    Oh, and I can do waaay better than moon cheese. How about giant diamonds from inside Neptune or Uranus? But if you really want the moon cheese I guess I can do that too, lol.

    @Finnyh: Thanks, your totally right. I have to be myself to be comfortable. Pretty much everyone knows that I'm trans. My whole family knows, and if they don't it's because I haven't seen them. I took that first step about year, year and a half ago, so I really need to get started transitioning. I'm unfortunately living at home, and while my parents didn't kick me out. Their attitude until the end of last year was that I need to start my transition when I move out, which obviously doesn't work. But ya, I totally need to be myself, and my employers should know that way everyone is comfortable with who I am.

    Thanks for all your advice,
             Xoxo

Awesome! Have a great time with your make-over! You'll feel the world of better for it, I reckon maybe it will get the ball rolling for you too.

Hi Bree! I will look for that link for you. There was also one where a member might have been turned down for college admissions due to a name/gender change of some kind.
This may be a good start for you:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,160753.msg1376345.html#msg1376345

Hello Bree and welcome to Susan's. It's wonderful that you are becoming the person you want to be and know you are. It took me a while to interact with the public but now do so regularly. You're doing alright, Bree. Keep moving forward.

Bree,

Sometime this weekend I'm going to PM so we can chat about cosplay, Comic Con, and California. I would have done so earlier, but I've been concentrating on writing my intro.

Now that that's done, I wanna chat about fun stuff.

Cheers,
Teg

Hey there, sorry for the ridiculously long reply. So I went and got a little but of waxing done. I've been job hunting as well. I wanted to ask for some advice on my outfit. I haven't been wearing boy clothes job hunting. I'I've been wearing jeans that aren't too tight, a white button up top, and basic foundation and powder. I'll put a picture as my profile pic.

@Tegan: I would love to talk cosplay and California. Maybe we can Facebook since I can't pm?

I wonder if you can receive PMs. We're going to find out, since I just sent you a PM with a FB link.

-Teg