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FAILURE

Started by Jasmine96, April 06, 2014, 09:38:44 AM

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Jasmine96

prom is dead. i have put in a lot of effort but it cant happen without some help and theres no one willing. now i move on to collge stuff (got accepted to wright state!) but still i feel bad.

i have known about "jasmine" for 3 and a half years and ive done nothing to transition. i said when i turned 18 i would and then had no where to go. then i wanted to go to prom but i was rejected. what hurts the most about it is that other girls will go and wont have one issue. i know that there is setbacks with transitioning but ive done nothing. nothing i do matters. i feel stuck in another persons life and i cant do a thing. i want it to change but i dont think it ever will. i feel so depressed and i just want to end this "life". i feel like a failure at being a fake man and as a trans woman. im just done.
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stephaniec

IT SEEMS YOUR A BIT HARSH ON YOUR SELF. I'm GUESSING your late teen which means you have about 60 to 80 years of life left to correct any problems you have. Not even having to had the experience of college behind you seems like your in a great hurry  to solve -problems some of us take a life time to get a handle on.
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Ltl89

Quote from: Jasmine96 on April 06, 2014, 09:38:44 AM
prom is dead. i have put in a lot of effort but it cant happen without some help and theres no one willing. now i move on to collge stuff (got accepted to wright state!) but still i feel bad.

i have known about "jasmine" for 3 and a half years and ive done nothing to transition. i said when i turned 18 i would and then had no where to go. then i wanted to go to prom but i was rejected. what hurts the most about it is that other girls will go and wont have one issue. i know that there is setbacks with transitioning but ive done nothing. nothing i do matters. i feel stuck in another persons life and i cant do a thing. i want it to change but i dont think it ever will. i feel so depressed and i just want to end this "life". i feel like a failure at being a fake man and as a trans woman. im just done.

Hey Jasmine,

I realize that being 18 is a milestone age, but it is relatively young.  Just because you haven't made progress as of now, that doesn't mean you won't in time.  Think about all the things you can achieve or acomplish should you put your mind to it.  Believe me, I understand feeling like it's impossible to overcome the struggles of being trans (look whose talking right now, lol) but that doesn't mean you can't.  At age 18, your life is really beginning, not ending.  Allow yourself the start that you want.

I feel you on the prom though.  I didn't go to mine as I graduated high school early and wouldn't have gone either way.  Sometimes it's a sad empty feeling thinking of the life I've missed out on, but I hated my high school and can't see myself of ever having my dream prom under any circumstances.  In any event, remember that the prom is only one day in your life.  You have your entire life ahead of you and that's something you can build up to be more special and amazing than a mere occassion like the prom. 

Sorry you feel down, and I hope it gets better. 
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Seras

You only fail if you give up. If you want stuff to get done with this you gotta move it on yourself you can't rely on the help of others. Find yourself a doctor and a therapist and whatever and get on with it. If you don't have money then get some. Also prom, who cares? It is just some party at the end of school. I intentionally skipped mine but then again it is not massively over-hyped in the UK like it is in the USA and I never really cared about that kinda stuff anyway. I also told myself I would deal with this s**t when I was 18. I didn't. No one magically helped me either. I finished university before I did anything and then I got myself some money and got myself a doctor now I am on HRT and finally doin what I wanted to for so long.
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Joanna Dark

Seriously, you're going to give up because of PROM? So what? You can't wear a dress. I think this is a good thing since you won't have that stigma attached as "the guy who wore a dress to prom." I'm sorry it is this way but it is and that's what peeps would have thought even where I'm from and I come from one of the bluest areas in the country. It's so blue you can't tell the social-demographics from the sky. Now, you can go to college, get on HRT and live your life. You should be thankful that torture that is High School is over, have a grad party, get a bunch of cash and use that to fund your transition. When I was your age, I couldn't go to prom because (A) I wasn't asked and I don't ask people out and (B) I had a serious heroin addiction and on the day prom was held I also discovered the joys of crack cocaine. This was the 1999-2000 so I had no Internet and nowhere to turn to regarding my lifelong transness. I realize the Intenent existed but by this time I was too wrapped up in being a criminal and drug addict and erstwhile prostitute (why? Because I liked to commit crimes while dressed like a woman and people told me too cause I looked so much like a chick).

So, I'm like LeStat in the Vampire Chronicles and I'm going to give you the choice I never had: do something. Now. Forget prom, it's like 4 hours of your life. It's nothing. And in the end, it's the little things that add up and make one feel or be a woman. So, I'd get started on that and stop worrying about prom.

Please dont take this as an invalidation of your feelings. I know at that age, I'm not that old and it wasn't that long ago, how much crap like that matters. I once spent a summer thinking about what I was going to wear to ninth grade. So, just move on. Don't give up. This road isn't easy and in the end, this is nothing. Even though right now it may feel horrific.
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kathyk

It's time to smile Jasmine.  When you show up at Wright State make sure you get to the LGBTQA Resource Room as soon as possible.  You won't be rejected, and you'll find some other girls just like you.  Here's the link.

http://www.wright.edu/glbtqa/about-us

And most Universities have gender identifiers you can use for roommates.  If you want, ask that they pair you up with another transgender girl. 

Wish the Michigan University system had these kind of programs and opportunities in 1969.  Yeah, I'd of been a devilish little girl.  >:-)





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jojoglowe

hey there! congrats on getting into wright state. columbus, ohio has a real cool scene, and it's super close to dayton -check it out sometime!

I understood myself and did my research at a young age, middle school, then tried to beat it/deny it up until after college at 25 years old. It wasn't a bad time to start. I learned much about life in college, met many awesome people, and I think it made me more prepared for my transition.

So... congrats on getting accepted, I had a few friends go there. Check out Columbus, there's these three weeks in a row, Pride, Comfest, Doodah Parade/Red White and Boom.

Take care!
-jojo
o---o---o---o---o---o---peaceloveunderstanding---o---o---o---o---o---o


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