Hi all, my wife saw me depressed, asked me and I brought again the gender diasphoria. I tried to bring the need to start with hormones and she said no.
hell, it's so hard. Am desperate 

I am not an expert in people's relationships/marriages, but I am a firm believer that if you don't love yourself first, You can't love someone else, plus love is about freedom and happiness... Does she truly want you to suffer living in the wrong gender?

Hi! One thing that helped me a lot was showing people what Gender Dysphoria is and list of things Gender Dysphoria causes in a person such as depression, anxiety and anger. Education on the subject may help and it lets them know it is a medical condition, not a mental condition. When the people closest to me saw the list it was like a light came on as I was showing signs of almost everything on the list. Since accepting and starting the transition process everyone has been amazed that I am a lot better to be around and a better friend period. Maybe this will let her know it is just not a life choice, but something tangible and treatable. Only my opinion though.

Sorry to be blunt but:

If your wife doesn't want you happy, does she really love you or does she just love having you as a husband?

I am in the same spot: my wife told me that she was going to get the kids and leave me, if I kept transitioning...

My wife love me as a comfort husband
she is in love with my wallet and ease of live
we move to US a year ago and we are alone.
only I think that almost all the wives are abusive, in love with the male wallet

Do you love her and do you want to be with her?

Quote from: asheriko35 on April 06, 2014, 04:33:48 PM
My wife love me as a comfort husband
she is in love with my wallet and ease of live

If this is true, you deserve better.

Been there, done that so so many times years & years ago. Let her find another man.

Quote from: asheriko35 on April 06, 2014, 04:33:48 PM
My wife love me as a comfort husband
she is in love with my wallet and ease of live
we move to US a year ago and we are alone.
only I think that almost all the wives are abusive, in love with the male wallet

My husband is exactly the same way towards me. So it isn't a 'wife' thing; greedy people come in all shapes & sizes.

It sounds like you & I need to find better people to be with.

Quote from: asheriko35 on April 06, 2014, 02:04:43 PM
Hi all, my wife saw me depressed, asked me and I brought again the gender diasphoria. I tried to bring the need to start with hormones and she said no.
hell, it's so hard. Am desperate 

You're a grown-up, right? There's an easy way out of this: buh-bye. That's American English for quite enough already. You are your own master.