Posting an intro here is the first thing to do, but I don't really know how. I don't have any friends I can talk about these things with and it feels very lonely where I am. There are changes that are appealing to me, like hrt, but I'm really struggling with self esteem, so I'm honestly not sure I deserve the help. I have very little experience with forums, so I don't know what to say, sorry.

Hey Avery, welcome to the forums! It's absolutely fine to be nervous, and you absolutely do deserve help.

I'm also very self-concious and socially anxious myself. It took me a good eight months to work up the confidence to finally post here, but now that I have I feel a lot more comfortable. Feel free to let us know whatever you feel comfortable disclosing, maybe what your interests/hobbies are or where you're from. I'm sure you'll fit in just fine!

Hi Avery 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Please be sure to review

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Age and the Forum
  
• Reputation rules
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Hugs

V M

Hi Avery!
I've only been on here for a day and I feel great about it. There's so much love and support, and absolutely nothing to be afraid of or reserved about I hope you find something that will help you.

The people here are very fast and receptive! I'm felling a bit better after the welcomes, thank you.

I started identifying as asexual about half a year ago, and began seriously questioning my gender identity at about the same time. The terms for orientations and sexes and genders are new to me, but these feelings have been around for years.

I moved into a college part of a city just this year, and I've already fallen in love with this liberal atmosphere of academia. Nearly everyday I get to have rich discussions about history and current events, and learn new things about the various sciences which have always inspired me. Progress is slow, but I'm currently learning about computer programming, music, and photography. I'm still terrified about being recorded on photos though, because it means I'll have to see myself

Depression has been a big problem for me, and in recent years it gotten to be physically damaging. I realized I was emotionally dying a little every time I let people shove me into the 'man' box. This finally pushed myself to go see a therapist about my gender identity. I soon realized how much of my self-loathing stems from my body. Looking around the internet I found many, many people bravely putting their transitioning stories and insights out there for the world. It feels like I've found something I never had the words for. I never knew there was such support out there.

A bit like realizing it's okay to not be straight, this is new and intimidating to me, but also exciting and clarifying. I've so many thoughts and feeling finally coming up that I'm stumbling over my words, so I'll cap my post here.

University/college is like a fresh start. I'm in my third year and cursing myself for not transitioning sooner because a couple of years ago would have been a great time to reinvent myself around new people who wouldn't know me as my old self. If I were you'd I'd take tiny steps to use your new environment to invest in the real you.

Yeah...photographs are torture. I can relate to you there. Walking past mirrors and particularly reflective windows is pretty bad too. I'm sorry to hear about the depression and how far it took hold of you. I can totally relate to that too and would never wish it on anyone. I hope you're out the other side of that and that things continue in the right direction for you.
I get what you mean about it being exciting. This is a whole new stage in life and in a year's time you could be so much closer to being who you really are. It will be like seeing yourself properly for the first time and giving yourself a big stupid grin.

There are countless people on here that are more than happy to help you feel at home. Might as well kick off your shoes.

Welcome to Susans,

Posting is the first step and I think the biggest step. I'm a recent addition to the group myself but I must say this community has helped me in so many ways and made me more as ease with myself and the universe.
First of all there is nothing you need to be shy to share or ashamed of, we come in all sizes and shapes, inclinations and orientations. Share as much as you want or as little as you prefer.

You sound intelligent and well spoken, just be honest with yourself and others and you'll blossom.

Quote from: Avery.u2205 on April 06, 2014, 07:32:16 PM
Posting an intro here is the first thing to do, but I don't really know how. I don't have any friends I can talk about these things with and it feels very lonely where I am. There are changes that are appealing to me, like hrt, but I'm really struggling with self esteem, so I'm honestly not sure I deserve the help. I have very little experience with forums, so I don't know what to say, sorry.