Yesterday I went to see my therapist dressed.  This was a really big step, and involved driving twelve miles dressed as Erin to get there.  I got about a mile from my destination and a male individual in a pickup truck shot out right in front of me and slowed down to 20 MPH in the 40 MPH zone.  He was eagerly looking in his rear view mirror to see what reaction he got.  He didn't clock me; he really thought he was aggravating a ditzy, blond, middle-aged, woman wearing glasses driving her little "girly" car.  So there he was preening his plumage and chortling to himself over what he was entitled to do to that woman.  A real loser.

When he was done with his game he pulled into the last side street on the right before the road turned into an on ramp for the highway.  I suppose he was going to turn around and go about his business after doing his part to show women what he thought of them.  Well, that was the street I needed, so I turned in right after him.  The look on his face was priceless, he totally lost his stuffings and looked like a little boy about to get the tongue lashing he knew he so richly deserved.  He bailed out into a construction site closed for the day to try and look like he had reason to be there, and I just went on my way.  Being taken as a woman can be "interesting." 


Erin

Quote from: ErinWDK on April 01, 2014, 08:33:48 AM
The look on his face was priceless, he totally lost his stuffings and looked like a little boy about to get the tongue lashing he knew he so richly deserved. 

Nice Erin, another cowardly bully put in his place

Quite a bit of mind reading in your story, I think. 

Quote from: ErinWDK on April 01, 2014, 08:33:48 AM
Yesterday I went to see my therapist dressed.  This was a really big step

Yes it was a BIG step. Congrats! Watch out though it is highly addictive. I went dressed for ONE session and went full time that very day. It was such a wonderfully normal experience I could never go back to "him" ever again. Again, congrats on finding the courage to be who you are!

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on April 01, 2014, 10:28:13 AM

Quote from: ErinWDK on April 01, 2014, 08:33:48 AM
Yesterday I went to see my therapist dressed.  This was a really big step

Yes it was a BIG step. Congrats! Watch out though it is highly addictive. I went dressed for ONE session and went full time that very day. It was such a wonderfully normal experience I could never go back to "him" ever again. Again, congrats on finding the courage to be who you are!

Yes, this was a huge step. Congrats hon!

Quote from: Caysee Danielle on April 01, 2014, 09:13:22 AM
Quite a bit of mind reading in your story, I think. 

Yeah, I mean I sympathize. But maybe he was a misogynist, maybe not. Misogyny is only one interpretation of his actions. Maybe he was just a jerk and set off by any number of things - maybe he thought you cut him off, he didn't like your car, just got fired and you were there - who knows. Glad he 'lost his stuffings' either way though. 

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on April 01, 2014, 10:28:13 AM
Yes it was a BIG step. Congrats! Watch out though it is highly addictive. I went dressed for ONE session and went full time that very day. It was such a wonderfully normal experience I could never go back to "him" ever again. Again, congrats on finding the courage to be who you are!

Hi Jessica!

It was a different experience for sure.  I can't go full time yet.  I am pre-everything and have fifteen months until I retire.  However, my therapist noted that I was "comfortable" and further conversation clarified that she meant confident.  So that is a boost toward working on a transition plan.  The biggies for that are finding a local support network and developing a female voice.  I never thought I would do as well presenting as Erin even after HRT rather than before.

Thanks!


Erin

You go Erin!

Quote from: FA on April 01, 2014, 10:54:47 AM
Yeah, I mean I sympathize. But maybe he was a misogynist, maybe not. Misogyny is only one interpretation of his actions. Maybe he was just a jerk and set off by any number of things - maybe he thought you cut him off, he didn't like your car, just got fired and you were there - who knows. Glad he 'lost his stuffings' either way though. 

Thanks for the balanced and well thought out reply.  I was really sensitive that being the second time I had driven about dressed.  That car is read as "feminine" (so much so that my youngest granddaughter says it is too girly for her) and it does draw aggression from some other drivers.  That incident pretty well took the cake.

I drive a cute MX5 sports car, soft top of course. A car pulled up along side me at the lights and it started.

I heard the female passenger shout at to the male driver, 'Why are you trying to catch up with that woman in the sportscar? Do you fancy her, or do you feel all male egoish?' I sat quietly in my car, looking straight ahead with a smile on my face.

I went to another therapy session dressed and got a few more miles driving presenting female.  This session was a bit later and the return trip was more into rush hour.  There was not any one other driver that really stood out as a jerk.  However, the general way other drivers acted toward me was a bit more agressive than when I drive that car presenting male.  Kudos to women of all types for dealing with this.  It would seem this is another, sort of unexpected, part of the learning curve toward transition.


Erin

Nicely done, Erin!

I won't ever drive, but I'd love to motorcycle, even posing as a woman.  That'll be interesting.

I have noticed one thing recently. I am not full of myself by any means, but I have noticed guys (and a few girls) intentionally missing traffic lights to be beside me. That and guys who speed by me, slow up and stay beside me for a while. I am sure they only like my Jeep though!

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on April 09, 2014, 09:33:06 AM
I have noticed one thing recently. I am not full of myself by any means, but I have noticed guys (and a few girls) intentionally missing traffic lights to be beside me. That and guys who speed by me, slow up and stay beside me for a while. I am sure they only like my Jeep though!

I have this also when I drive the cute little car; moreso when presenting Female, but sometimes when I am presenting Male???  It does NOT seem to happen when I drive the gnarly SUV although I have not driven that presenting Female.  At 18 MPG versus 45 MPG the little car gets picked more often - especially for longer runs.


Erin

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on April 09, 2014, 09:12:34 AM
I once had a short "cyclist vs. driver" incident. i just had crossed an intersection and I deliberately chose to stay on the main road (which was quite insignificant) instead of getting on the road part for bikes (which was in very bad state due to prolonged construction works). So there I was, pedalling on the very side of the road, when i heard brakes crashing and huuuuge black SUV cuts me off and abruptly stops. I stop as well and flap my eyes as its dark-toned side window lowers and an angry, bald-shaven head emerges and dude shows with his gestures that me with my bike should move off the road and into the cyclists area.  The main road was totally empty and although his car was really huuuuuge, there was plenty of room for him, me and another SUV. So, I got pack on my bike, pedalled out via very narrow lane which was left between his car and sidewalk, and stayed on the main road. He kept gesturing and shouting at me, so I decided to get a bit naughty – being on the move already, I turned around and blew him a kiss. He angrily and loudly accelerated  and sped forwards and I almost expected him to come into full stop and step out of his car with a baseball bat or smth but he just left.

There is open war between cyclists and drivers around here.  Some of the cyclists go out of their way to provoke this - doing things WAY more confrontational than you describe.  A couple of cyclists have been killed, and sadly it was not the ones out there to make their "in-your-face" political statement.  With that blowing in the air I keep my cycle on designated cycle trails.  Since I need a wig to present Female I am not too sure I will do that on the cycle anytime soon.


Erin

I also posted this in the "what made you happy, what made you sad" thread a couple of days ago. Cycling along and a big pickup comes screaming by, cuts me off to do a right turn, and yells out the window "Watch where you're going bitch", on the bright side I passed ...