when changing your appearance from female to male how do you tell kids why it is you are now male? i have 2 6yr olds and a 4 yr old in my close family, i dont know how id tell them. i know theyd be asking me why and they are very smart. the thing is though, i think they would be more accepting of me than the adults. kids also tend to adapt to change much better than adults and they dont judge. they kinda take you as you are if they love you and all. so im hoping they wont be freaked out or anything and that they will know its still me on the inside my brothers kids call me auntie so im not sure how id go about saying im now uncle its kinda hard and maybe unfair on them. am i being selfish thinking of my needs and no one elses? i love them so much and i dont want to hurt or confuse them but im hurting and confused

It's clear from your posts that you are thinking of others, not just yourself. It's not selfish to follow your own path.

Kids will pick up on your feelings about it. They are accepting generally, but if you present it like it's some horrible shameful thing, they will pick up on that, so you have to be comfortable with the idea when you talk to them. Also, their parents may tell them first and you might not have any say in it. Certainly before you talk to them, you should clear it with the parents.

If it is you who tells them, keeping it simple without hiding things is best. Like "I always felt like a boy inside, not a girl, so now I'm going to let myself be a boy. The first thing is I'm changing my name to .... "

Dennis

Yeah, kids are much more accepting!  Well... i guess it depends on their parents and what type of bull->-bleeped-<- they've been fed over the years.  My nephew seems to be cool with it, not too sure.  My sis refuses to call me a name in front of her three year old twins because i haven't picked a permanent one yet.

So... i would say take it into your own hands (of course run it by the parents) so you can say the right things.

Try to explain the difference between gender and sex, that sometimes they mismatch, and that you want yours to match.  Or whatever your circumstance is.  If you say it matter of factly and don't make a big deal out of it, neither will they.  The sooner you do it the better.

They are right...kids are generally more accepting.  They dont have years and years of ignorance thrust upon them from others in the society.  Also...there parents play a big part in that too.  So......dont be ashamed....its a wonderful thing to come into yourself.  Good luck.
Jesse

I'm going to relate what happened when my twelve-year-old cousing was told.

The first thing she said was, "Hi, Andrew!"

The second thing she said was, "Want to see my new stuffed dog? I went to Build-A-Bear Workshop!!!!"

Bottom line: whatever's going on in their lives will probably be more important than even the weightiest of your life decisions.

What regina said.

A friend of mine who works with kids remarked to me that at about the age of eight kids become hidebound about rules and how the world is supposed to work. Until then, they tend to be open about all kinds of stuff.

I have read that researchers discovered that until people are about four years old, they don't think of gender as immutable, and find the idea that you can't change your gender because you feel like it harder to accept than the idea that you can.

My dad (MTF) went through a very similar situation.

When I was around the age of six my dad came up to me and told me that she had something very important to talk about. So I sat down with her and I could tell that she was very nervous and scared to talk about whatever it was. She then told me frankly that she "liked to wear women's clothing." I was actually relieved to hear that because it looked like she was going to confess something horrible! I thought it was silly that she should be so scared to wear dresses. So I really didn't think much about it. I mean I did think she was a little weird but if it made her happy to be a girl then I was fine with it. She finished her transformation three years after first talking to me.

QuoteI'm going to relate what happened when my twelve-year-old cousing was told.

The first thing she said was, "Hi, Andrew!"

The second thing she said was, "Want to see my new stuffed dog? I went to Build-A-Bear Workshop!!!!"

Bottom line: whatever's going on in their lives will probably be more important than even the weightiest of your life decisions.

That's very true.

From my own experience, my advice is to introduce your transformation slowly, because it will make the transition easier for everyone. At least this is what helped me and my family the most. I don't think young children don't really care as long as normal routine doesn't change all that much. It's the adults that will be less accepting and will take MUCH longer to adapt.

The problems I had growing up (durring the 90's and early 2000's) with a transsexual parent is that I couldn't understand why many of my family members and general society were against my dad's decision to become a woman. Overtime it made me afraid that if my friends discovered that my dad was a transsexual that they would become my enemies (adults are mostly to blame for this fear). So I got into the habbit of avoiding having friends over at the house. It wasn't because I thought my dad was doing something wrong, it was because I was afraid of what the other kids would think. So what happened is that I tried very hard to cover up my family "secret". It was horrible because I felt like I had to arrange things in advanced so my friends would not meet my dad and I had to lie a lot. It's a very stressful thing to go through as a child. I'm telling you this so that maybe your children won't have to go through the same things that I had to: having to live with the fear of what other people think. Now that I look back, I realize that I didn't need to worry about the other kids opinions of my dad's gender because I don't think that they would think much of it (well other than being a little weird). It's the adults you have to worry about!

I don't think you are being selfish and I don't think my dad was being selfish either. I just wish society was more accepting.

Anyway I hope this helps you. Best of luck!

I think kid or more bound by habits than anything, if they feel loved and not much changes for them, they don't care really. My best friend's daughter's (6 yo) only hangup was that she didn't feel like calling me another name (her routine) and was wondering why I was using the same voice (my voice's already plenty feminine so I didn't change it). Now, she calls me another name.