How important is it to you to be beautiful? Do you care only whether you see yourself as beautiful, or do you want others to see you as beautiful also?

Honestly, I really wish I could be pretty or beautiful, but I don't feel that way and doubt I ever will.  I guess I do care about it because it seems to get me down.  As for other people, well of course I want them to see me as attractive.  It's only human.  Though, I realize that not everyone will be attracted to us and that's okay.  I guess I just don't want to be seen as ugly or something like that.  So yeah, I do care about my looks even if being beautiful to others isn't always the most important thing.  I guess I would like to feel okay with how I look myself most of all.  That's still a work in progress.

It is very important to me, I want to be a beautiful. I want others to see me as beautiful. Maybe I'm delusional, maybe I'm just shallow, to be beautiful for an MTF is no different from a Cis woman who wants to be beautiful. A lot of MTFs here on Susans and elsewhere are really pretty, I mean that. Maybe my eyes are biased, but when people say MTFs can't pass as attractive females, it's not true.

I missed out on the chance to be pretty by a few decades.  I feel for the girl inside who never got to go out and just be herself growing up.  For now I do what I can with what I have and am ok with that  I haven't the buckets of cash for FFS, and frankly that is a good thing.  I am an inside job, and I can spend a ton of time and bury my soul while obsessing over physical trivia.  I do pretty subtle make up, dress casually but with a sense of style that I like, and try to be beautiful to everyone. 
I have friends that love me, and I can make them smile.  That's beautiful enough.

Hugs,
Julie

Good question you've come up with.

Like learningtolive said, if i am happy with how i look to myself that would be okay, but yeah i wouldn't want to be considered as being ugly. It seems like I care alot more about how i look as a female, i still like to present well now but whenever i fantasize about living as a female i place more importance on my looks, but it gives me a sense of pride and confidence; just because i'm seeing that i am developing a greater self worth  or perhaps because i'm being my authentic self, i haven't figured that out yet.

I don't like how this sounds but, i like that people think i'm a little attractive now, and i'm scared that if i become more myself, if i transition, i'll be throwing that away and i may not ever have that living as a female. This may not be an issue when i actually decide to transition but for now its still well and truly on my list of worries lol

-ah julie so glad you posted that.

'I have friends that love me, and i can make them smile. That's beautiful enough'

THIS is where i will get to someday you are an inspiration thankyou

Beautiful inside: Very, very important. I am a far different person than "he" ever was and I hope that radiates from within me.

Beautiful outside: Ultimately I'm stuck with what I was born with so I do the best I can with it. I'll never win a beauty pageant but I can take care of things like nails, hair, and clothing to look the best that I can possibly look.

If you mean "conventionally attractive," then no, I do not care. But I have a VERY different standard of "beauty" than most. I've always been very much of the persuasion of "every woman is beautiful," and I really hate it when women are in that super-self-critical mindset of "oh I'm so ugly." I vowed from the beginning to never be one of those girls who was worried about living up to unrealistic beauty standards. As long as I'm perceived as female, I decided, I'd be happy. If others perceive me as beautiful, whatever, that's their judgment.

I had a dream a long time ago where God gave me the option of being reborn and starting over in a new life, but I'd be an overweight girl who was never very popular and never really seen as pretty by anyone. I could have that, or stay in my current life. I chose the former. So that's really all I've ever wanted. I was fully accepting of the possibility that I might end up as an "ugly" woman when I started transition.

Being beautiful ≠ looking a certain way. I wish more people could see that. Then they may see how beautiful they already are and there wouldn't be quite so much heartache in this world.

If someone were to see me as beautiful, I would not want it to be for my looks.

Yea, I suppose it would be great to be Greta Garbo , Even though she spent a lot of life in seclusion and told people she just wanted to be left alone. Personally I'm more into being female. The female spectrum in looks is as vast as the male spectrum. I Just see myself as a woman and I'm a happy camper. If you transition for beauty the chances are your never going to be satisfied .

I'm gorgeous, but only I know it

Tough Question,
I think every women wants to look attractive. I know I do. But also I have to be realistic. I am never going to look like a super model, nor would I really want to at my age. The last thing I need is a bunch of guys slobbering all over me and following me around like lost puppies. Not that my ego wouldn't like it, but really I just want to reasonably pass in public and feel comfortable in my own skin.

I would be lying if I said I didn't like it when people call me pretty. But I put much more value in my heart and in my mind than I do my looks. Sure it's nice and a part of me does love it but my looks will fade with time but the woman I am will remain the same. And in the end that's the only beauty I'm concerned with.

I know that I'll never be a super model, but I do make an effort to be presentable and only wish to be seen as the woman I am

I believe true beauty begins on the inside

My post appears to have vanished somewhere..... so attempt no. 2

I am too old for beauty to be an issue and HRT has still got a lot of work to do on me because I started on such a low dose. Only in the last 6 months has the dose been high enough to really make changes, but changes are happening and the most important thing of all is that I am beginning to feel right and I am content.

Oddly enough, I seem to "pass" in public no matter what I am doing or where I go. This astounds me but I just accept it. No one has called me "sir" in 18 months.

Quote from: Cindy on April 11, 2014, 08:40:05 AM
I'm gorgeous, but only I know it

I think your mistaken, I know it too

Yes, it matters to me. Not only for myself (so I can feel good about what I see in the mirror) but for my girlfriends (so we can go out looking great together!), And of course I would like to be attractive enough to start dating after this process is far enough along. I want a normal life again, some day.

QuoteAs long as I'm perceived as female, I decided, I'd be happy.

Carrie, that is a refreshing way to put it. I'm adopting this one, thanks

I value physical attractiveness probably a lot more than I should. Intellectually I know I shouldn't care about how good I look as long as I'm living life as me, but (and it kinda feels wrong to think this but there it is) as I kinda avoided the 'plain' gap (as Chris constantly reminds me) and never really had to come to terms with the possibility of being unable to attain physical beauty, I find myself thinking of my self-worth more in how I look than who I am.
Sadly I don't see that changing without good reason - my mind needs more than 'you shouldn't care' to actually stop caring, and in the meantime all I can do is try to keep my self-image under control.

And with that, I will leave off trying to explain conceit from the inside out.

Quote from: TaoRaven on April 11, 2014, 09:08:50 AM
Yes, it matters to me. Not only for myself (so I can feel good about what I see in the mirror) but for my girlfriends (so we can go out looking great together!), And of course I would like to be attractive enough to start dating after this process is far enough along. I want a normal life again, some day.

Meeee too.

Quote from: TaoRaven on April 11, 2014, 09:08:50 AM
Yes, it matters to me. Not only for myself (so I can feel good about what I see in the mirror) but for my girlfriends (so we can go out looking great together!), And of course I would like to be attractive enough to start dating after this process is far enough along. I want a normal life again, some day.

Totally agree. Stop reading my thoughts lol but yeah on days when i feel I look good, I am in a much better mood. And also, this is the first time in my life I haven't had a lot of female friends but I want to again and lately women just come up and talk to me, especially when I'm primping my hair in my reflection and now, or lately, women are all "you look great sweetie and Ilove your short hair. You pull it off so well. Stop worying. You look fine. What are you going to meet your BF and want tolook your best. I feel you on that." or something like that. it keeps happening.

So yeah when I have more girlfriends and we go out clubbing or to a bar, I want to look good too, so we can be a team of scary pretty women that guys agonize about talking to. Plus, when everyone looks good, everyone feels good. I don't know maybe I'm superficial.

@CarrieLiz: A lot of women can't help that and it isn't just an act it really is how some women, like me, feel. the other day i thought I looked hideous and "oh so ugly" but I'm not like fishing for compliments cause I don't tell people but I find myself passing people and being all did she see my nose, I wonder what I looked like, I wonder how my outfit looked like to her: too big, too small, top much boobage?....blah blah blah..sometimes I even want to go up to people (usually women for some reason i care about how they see me more than men and I like men) and be like when you looked at me what did you think? But then i'd be in crazy lady land. okay, ya got me, I reside there on a regular basis but i try not to let people know lol