Last night my boyfriend and I got into a huge argument that lead to him ripping a necklace off my neck and spitting gum at me, I slapped him and he pushed me down to the bed with his hands around my neck so I tried to get him off me by scratching him and kicking him off me, which ended up being me going to jail for the night and being charged with domestic violence, it was all male cops that night so they obviously took his side, feeling very suppressed, dirty and humiliated

I'm sorry that happened to you. It does seem a lot like the law is against people of LGBT or even female in general. To add to that, it was all male cops and most male cops don't understand the feminine side of things. Hope that things get better for ya Latoya
Reaver

Sorry that happened to you.  Gotta be careful with the domestic violence calls - I think that many jurisdictions have a policy that when someone calls in a domestic disturbance, somebody has to go to jail for the night, no matter what.  (The point of this policy is to make sure that when a battered wife - and it's usually a wife - makes the call, the husband can't make her recant and then hit her once again after the cops leave.)  And you, as the one who left the most marks on the boyfriend...

Moving forward, what are your plans for this relationship?

In Oklahoma if officers see marks on both they get to go to jail together. If one person has marks the other goes to jail. We do not have to have a complaint on either party to act and arrest. This went into effect in 2000 and it has dramatically reduced domestic violence here because the threat of jail is a distinct possibility for both. 

My gender identity had nothing to do with it, my boyfriend and I were together 5 months, I went to a female unit

I'm sorry that that happened to you. I noticed you said your bf and you "were" together for 5 months. Hope I'm not appearing too nosey but are you still together after last night? Or have you decided to take a break for awhile? Also, I hope you are all right physically. I can only imagine what you are feeling emotionally and you have my complete attention if you would like someone to talk to about it. I will listen and offer advice if you would like or we can just talk. Hope all is well. 

Thank you lady, and no I came home to find his stuff all gone, the room torn apart, and his part of the bed gone as well, we have a court date next month, pretty sure they're gonna make it look like i m the bad guy though even though he attacked me.

In Philly, cops treat transsexuals great. Tell them you'tr trans and they start apologizing and get all super nice. it's weird. They musta had sensitivity training. But Philly is like the trans capital of America.

As the saying goes "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger." Try not to see this as a solely bad experience, even though it may seem that way now. It can be a good growing experience as well if you allow it to be. Let it make you stronger. *Hugs*


Lady

.latoya,  that is really lousy.  At least he is gone so hopefully things will work out.  I wish you the best and know you are being thought of.

I'm sorry to hear about your crappy experience.  Hopefully your ex stays gone.

Thank you Kimberley and christine

I hate this nanny state law because it is one that is so often misapplied and most police officers are either not allowed or are unable to make a logical common sense decision in the field.

I was once confronted by my S.O. who was inebriated, loud and obnoxious, I wasn't drinking. We were both in our PJ's and I told her to go to bed and I proceeded to play spider solitaire on the computer. She kept at me and as I began to get up the leg broke on chair I had been sitting on. It was from the dining room set and I had put it in my office because it had a cracked leg and I didn't want a guest getting hurt. So wifey calls 911 and two police officers show up, one was a little guy and the other was a tall blonde amazon. So the tall lady cop takes a photo of the chair and arrests me and off I go to jail in my pj's. Then the jailer has me change into a pair of orange coveralls that were too small and I couldn't zip them up further than just below my breast bone so that my tits are all pooched up and showing and they proceed to put me in with the general male population. A couple of the goons in there zoned in on me right away. I rang the bell for five minutes straight and told the guard that I was about to be attacked and needed to be placed elsewhere. This was a friday night so I had to spend until Monday in solitary confinement until arraignment. I was charged with assault 4 and then released out onto the street in my PJ's, I walked several blocks to a large department store that had a bank branch office and an ATM, fortunately I had brought my wallet and was able to get a $20 bill and I walked in the bank and got change so I could call home for a ride.

The court required me to attend a short alcohol treatment program though I hadn't been the one drinking that night, one year and $2000 for attorney fees later the charge was formerly dismissed. The entire process was so damned humiliating that I have a hatred for courts and cops to this day. My spouse and I have both agreed that we will never dial 911 unless one of us are having a severe health issue or the house is burning down.

Quote from: Shantel on April 12, 2014, 10:59:04 AM
I hate this nanny state law because it is one that is so often misapplied and most police officers are either not allowed or are unable to make a logical common sense decision in the field.

I was once confronted by my S.O. who was inebriated, loud and obnoxious, I wasn't drinking. We were both in our PJ's and I told her to go to bed and I proceeded to play spider solitaire on the computer. She kept at me and as I began to get up the leg broke on chair I had been sitting on. It was from the dining room set and I had put it in my office because it had a cracked leg and I didn't want a guest getting hurt. So wifey calls 911 and two police officers show up, one was a little guy and the other was a tall blonde amazon. So the tall lady cop takes a photo of the chair and arrests me and off I go to jail in my pj's. Then the jailer has me change into a pair of orange coveralls that were too small and I couldn't zip them up further than just below my breast bone so that my tits are all pooched up and showing and they proceed to put me in with the general male population. A couple of the goons in there zoned in on me right away. I rang the bell for five minutes straight and told the guard that I was about to be attacked and needed to be placed elsewhere. This was a friday night so I had to spend until Monday in solitary confinement until arraignment. I was charged with assault 4 and then released out onto the street in my PJ's, I walked several blocks to a large department store that had a bank branch office and an ATM, fortunately I had brought my wallet and was able to get a $20 bill and I walked in the bank and got change so I could call home for a ride.

The court required me to attend a short alcohol treatment program though I hadn't been the one drinking that night, one year and $2000 for attorney fees later the charge was formerly dismissed. The entire process was so damned humiliating that I have a hatred for courts and cops to this day. My spouse and I have both agreed that we will never dial 911 unless one of us are having a severe health issue or the house is burning down.

Oh god. That's awful. Over a chair? 

Quote from: FA on April 12, 2014, 11:07:17 AM
Oh god. That's awful. Over a chair? 

Yes, the woman cop was obviously in charge. My wife was pushing the little cop all around saying, "You're arresting the wrong person, arrest me instead!" He was useless, meanwhile the woman officer circled around me and was well inside of my comfort zone almost stepping on my feet. She removed my earrings, watch and gold bracelet as I stood still, she cuffed me and asked me if I had undergone SRS yet. The entire thing was beyond bizarre. A woman from the prosecutor's office called my spouse the following week, she said she didn't want to see me charged as I had done nothing wrong, the prosecutor gal said that it wasn't within my wife's purview to make that decision, that the court was going to proceed with prosecution regardless. Other than that incident I have always had a squeeky clean record, so I have good reason to loathe those a-holes.

Quote from: Shantel on April 12, 2014, 11:40:28 AM

Quote from: FA on April 12, 2014, 11:07:17 AM
Oh god. That's awful. Over a chair? 

Yes, the woman cop was obviously in charge. My wife was pushing the little cop all around saying, "You're arresting the wrong person, arrest me instead!" He was useless, meanwhile the woman officer circled around me and was well inside of my comfort zone almost stepping on my feet. She removed my earrings, watch and gold bracelet as I stood still, she cuffed me and asked me if I had undergone SRS yet. The entire thing was beyond bizarre. A woman from the prosecutor's office called my spouse the following week, she said she didn't want to see me charged as I had done nothing wrong, the prosecutor gal said that it wasn't within my wife's purview to make that decision, that the court was going to proceed with prosecution regardless. Other than that incident I have always had a squeeky clean record, so I have good reason to loathe those a-holes.

Oh wow. Sounds like there might have been some transphobia at work.

Quote from: FA on April 12, 2014, 11:46:11 AM
Yes, the woman cop was obviously in charge. My wife was pushing the little cop all around saying, "You're arresting the wrong person, arrest me instead!" He was useless, meanwhile the woman officer circled around me and was well inside of my comfort zone almost stepping on my feet. She removed my earrings, watch and gold bracelet as I stood still, she cuffed me and asked me if I had undergone SRS yet. The entire thing was beyond bizarre. A woman from the prosecutor's office called my spouse the following week, she said she didn't want to see me charged as I had done nothing wrong, the prosecutor gal said that it wasn't within my wife's purview to make that decision, that the court was going to proceed with prosecution regardless. Other than that incident I have always had a squeeky clean record, so I have good reason to loathe those a-holes.


Oh wow. Sounds like there might have been some transphobia at work.

That was my gut feeling too!

Either way, I resent Big Brother's overreach into the privacy of my life, home and family with absurd abuse of power for any reason real or imagined. Sorry, I don't mean to take over the OP's thread, what happened to her made my eyes cross and I felt a need to vent about my own experience because it seems that police have a propensity to abuse us through improper application of their authority.

I feel so bad for Latoya and Shantel's DV experiences. It is an eye opener for sure.

Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on April 12, 2014, 02:31:31 PM
I feel so bad for Latoya and Shantel's DV experiences. It is an eye opener for sure.

It truly is. It saddens me greatly that people have to go through stuff like that.