Hi everyone. I would like everyone who is disrespecting Susan's on Facebook to immediately unfriend me please. I woke up to a Facebook topic trashing the good name of this great place. Some are still members here now and some have left. I try my best every second I am logged in to make good decisions as a Moderator and follow the Terms of Service as best I can to keep this family safe and secure for others. It is an unpaid position to which I volunteered for because I believe in the mission here. I do not want to open my Facebook page and see myself called "An inmate running the asylum", "corrupt", "non caring", "hate full" and many other things. I do the best I can to be honest and give everyone a chance to speak, yet be mindful of others feelings and emotions. I have been destroyed by some of the current members here who talk this way and cant let it go. So if you are one of the ones (and I know who you are) please unfriend me and leave this place instead of cowardly attacking it on another site. Those that do this have a lack of honor and personal integrity. 

Haters gonna hate. I know who a lot of these people are, and many are disgruntled former staff. Some are those who were denied a staff position. I would take what is said by such people with a huge grain of salt.



They're free to salt the ocean with their hatred of me and our site. I've got a big enough filter.

Seriously, if you're gonna hate, hate me and not our mods. Our overworked, volunteer mods who work night and day to keep this a safe space. I've heard some of the stuff said about me. Well, I've got nothing to hide. I hide nothing. At all. I'm an open book. Everyone here knows I've got problems and I don't trouble to hide it.

Quote from: FA on April 14, 2014, 02:32:56 PM
Haters gonna hate. I know who a lot of these people are, and many are disgruntled former staff. Some are those who were denied a staff position. I would take what is said by such people with a huge grain of salt.

This.

Jealousy and bitterness are terrible emotions.

I understand not letting it get to me. It is just after a 28 year career served with honor, courage and self sacrifice I have no desire to be slandered by people possessing the exact opposite qualities. It is like when we tell new (or older) transitioners they have no need to be in toxic relationships which could hinder their transitions. These people are toxic to me and I want them to have no further correspondence with me. I am proud to be here and owe this place my very life. I was VERY surprised by some of our current members who are talking this way as I thought I knew them better and had great respect for them. When I first read the comments I felt a lot like Julius Caesar. Not being a supreme ruler by any means, just betrayed by those closest.

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on April 14, 2014, 02:49:07 PM
I understand not letting it get to me. It is just after a 28 year career served with honor, courage and self sacrifice I have no desire to be slandered by people possessing the exact opposite qualities. It is like when we tell new (or older) transitioners they have no need to be in toxic relationships which could hinder their transitions. These people are toxic to me and I want them to have no further correspondence with me. I am proud to be here and owe this place my very life. I was VERY surprised by some of our current members who are talking this way as I thought I knew them better and had great respect for them. When I first read the comments I felt a lot like Julius Caesar. Not being a supreme ruler by any means, just betrayed by those closest.

Oh I didn't mean that. It is upsetting. Especially to our mods who are busy doing a thankless job just trying to keep the place hospitable. I don't know who all you're talking about, but I can guess - disgruntled former staff and the friends of former staff. Anyway according to Susan, any staff member badmouthing the site has just handed in their resignation. Any member doing so has just forfeited the privilege of being a member. If you don't like it here, we don't want you here. Don't let the door slap your ass on your way out.
Send me their names.

Why befriend someone one doesn't like in the first place? 

Sometimes you don't find out about their true colors until they are off of Susan's. They post one thing here, then another somewhere else. Have you never been turned on by someone you considered a friend before? Not judging, just saying it happens sometimes. Yes I do feel like a fool right now.

Nah. I mean why would they friend you on facebook if they don't like you? I've had plenty of friends do shtuff like that to me and every time I'm like, "If you didn't like me this whole time, why did you pretend to be my friend?" I don't get it.

The only people I have "friended" on facebook are my Sister and friends from High School (oh so many years ago [1962]).  This keeps the drama down.

Big hugs to all of you.  Jessica, FA and Sephirah, I have nothing but the utmost respect for you.

I have some experience from getting nasty blowback just for trying to go out of my way to be helpful.  Sometimes I feel like no good deed goes unpunished, but for some reason I keep doing them anyway.

What I don't understand is people who say one thing in one place and another somewhere else. 

If you ever see me somewhere else, know this- there is only one Jill. 

Quote from: Edge on April 14, 2014, 04:26:21 PM
Nah. I mean why would they friend you on facebook if they don't like you? I've had plenty of friends do shtuff like that to me and every time I'm like, "If you didn't like me this whole time, why did you pretend to be my friend?" I don't get it.

Oh I see Edge, Sorry, blonde moment!

I think it was a way for them to try to get info from me and to feel me out for recruitment to the other site. I was at one time offered the same job I have here now with the other group.

Jill-There is definitely only one you and I have the privilege to know you! Love you Sis!

Quote from: Jill F on April 14, 2014, 04:33:49 PMIf you ever see me somewhere else, know this- there is only one Jill. 

More than one and I'm pretty sure the universe would implode. I'm glad we've got the one and only, though.

I feel pretty sorry for a lot of the mods...they get stuck in pretty much all the forum drama and usually get crucified in the process. I've never understood why people say Susan's is hateful, or whatever. I've literally never had any problems here. And I'm willing to bet dimes to donuts it's because I don't get involved in drama. If I upset someone, I apologize (if I feel I was in the wrong). If something just really rubs me the wrong way, I leave for a few days. I've never been accused of being hateful nor have I received anything I would call hateful. Sadly, for the mods that really isn't an option because in order to do their jobs they have to stick around and can't just stay away from the drama. But for members, I honestly can't understand why so many get upset over small things, and cause fights, drama, and discord. It's stupid.

It's not all disgruntled former staff posting about this forum on FB.  There are problems here.  On the forum and in the chat room.  Sure, you can act like there aren't problems and go on like nothing is wrong and blame it on select individuals who speak out.  That won't solve the problems.  Almost all trans forums have their own problems.  This one is most certainly no exception.

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on April 14, 2014, 04:03:32 PM
Sometimes you don't find out about their true colors until they are off of Susan's. They post one thing here, then another somewhere else. Have you never been turned on by someone you considered a friend before? Not judging, just saying it happens sometimes. Yes I do feel like a fool right now.

Sorry, but yeah it absolutely sounds like you're judging.
It's called 'free speech'.   People aren't subject to the whim of Susan's mods on FB, Thank God.  When people start seeing every poster here get equal treatment, maybe then they will feel differently. 

Quote from: JordanBlue on April 14, 2014, 04:48:40 PM
It's not all disgruntled former staff posting about this forum on FB.  There are problems here.  On the forum and in the chat room.  Sure, you can act like there aren't problems and go on like nothing is wrong and blame it on select individuals who speak out.  That won't solve the problems.  Almost all trans forums have their own problems.  This one is most certainly no exception.

Well Jordan, you are on moderation. But I have approved this comment (can't say I'll approve any others). Whatever your feelings or opinions, you have seriously hurt at least one member here with your comments and pms. You may feel justified in your envy of this person. These feelings are natural and I'm not condemning them. I am condemning your treatment of an innocent person -someone you have apparently deemed unworthy of support. You seriously hurt somebody here. And made them afraid to come back. Does that feel good? Being a bully? I can understand that. I didn't care how much I hurt other people - when I was 11.

All I can say WOW... I am so sorry to hear that Jessica. Like yourself, this place is a lifesaver for me. It kind of makes me sad also that this happened. That said though, people can be jerks and I think you did a good job as stating how you feel. Personally I have opened up more to this community than anywhere else with the exception of my therapist of course. But I am seeking answers to questions and also can express my inner feeling as well. On an overall I feel well received and I seem to get honest answer from most of the girls here. My advice: Don't let a few bad apples spoil the bunch. And how you are doing that with this post seem very direct which in my opinion is what was needed. Love ya Sis. Big hug from me.

I can only say I'm glad I stumbled across this place and props to the mods/admins who make it pleasant.

I am so sorry everyone! I have done just what I was trying to stop. I just wanted the people doing this to be aware I wanted no further contact and all I did was stir the nest of hornets. I CAUSED what I wanted stopped. I am so , so sorry for this. Would a Moderator please remove this topic because it is doing damage to what I love. I am sorry to have betrayed the trust placed in me and my judgment. I love all of you and didn't mean to cause all of this. 

Quote from: FA on April 14, 2014, 05:07:15 PM
Well Jordan, you are on moderation. But I have approved this comment (can't say I'll approve any others). Whatever your feelings or opinions, you have seriously hurt at least one member here with your comments and pms.

Oh, but I don't have feelings.  I see how it works now.

QuoteYou may feel justified in your envy of this person.

Clueless much?  It's never been envy.  I don't envy anyone on this forum.

QuoteThese feelings are natural and I'm not condemning them. I am condemning your treatment of an innocent person -someone you have apparently deemed unworthy of support. You seriously hurt somebody here. And made them afraid to come back. Does that feel good? Being a bully? I can understand that. I didn't care how much I hurt other people - when I was 11.

Again, clueless much?    I'm no bully - never have been - never will be.
I tried to reason with that person.  I even said they looked good and 100% passable. 
They spit in my face.  And now I'm the bad person?
Do whatever you want.  Mod me, Ban me, whatever - but you can't stop me from discussing the nonsense that happens here somewhere else.