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I Got Clocked . . .

Started by Gina Taylor, April 14, 2014, 09:45:49 AM

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Gina Taylor

Last Friday as I was leaving the library and a gentleman on a bike came riding up to me and told me that he knows that I'm a Transgender and then he asked if I knew some others that he knew that came to the library as well. I told him that I didn't know them. Then when I asked how he knew that I was a Trans, he told me that I was obvious. But he couldn't tell me exactly what was so obvious about me.  ???
Gina Marie Taylor  8)
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piglet smith

You shouldn't let it get to you. Sometimes, some people just seem to home in on some cue that may betray you. It doesn't have to  be bad, just happens. You learn to just go "ok" and go on and forget about it. I've been read so many times that it doesn't faze me anymore and so long as they keep treating me with common respect, then its all good.
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Rachel

Gina, do not let it get to you. You are all woman!
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Adam (birkin)

People like that are complete jack asses. I wouldn't take it personally, because if someone is going to go out of their way to do something like that (and ask if other trans people go to the library...? Wtf? Is he trying to get a date?) they've got something going on in the head. Normal people don't pay that much attention to others unless they've got some hangup.
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Veronica M

Well that kind of sucks... LOL... If it was so "obvious" you would have to think he would have been able to answer your question though... Good response by the way... Bottom line, you are who you are inside and let no one tell you different. As the saying goes, "->-bleeped-<- happens" so don't let it get you down... Your doing just fine girlfriend...
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Ltl89

I'm so sorry this happened.  Screw him.  I mean why would you purposefully say that to someone.  At the end of the day, the only person that really comes off bad is him for saying something that would likely be seen as hurtful.  In any case, I'm sorry this happened.  I know whatever I say won't take away the pain as I've been there, but I really hope you make it out of this okay.  He is only one person in a world full of billions more.  Don't let him control you.  (Yes everyone I know it's painfully ironic that it is coming from me, lol). 
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JamesG

He may have seen you before when you were presenting as male and while transitioning so would know that way.  But yeah, that was rather insensitive.   At least he was not hostile about it...
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spooky

it probably happens to all of us a lot more than we know.  most people just aren't rude about it.

today i saw a *flawlessly beautiful* trans woman downtown.  what gave her away?  i don't know...she definitely wasn't clockable to the average person, but other trans girls and guys who like trans girls seem to have a sixth sense about it.  maybe you can think of it kind of like "gaydar," if that's useful to you. 
:icon_chick:
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KelsieJ

If he knows other transwomen and asked you if you knew them, chances are he's a ->-bleeped-<- and knows what to look for.

Don't sweat it, he's probably just a perv vs you giving off any telltale signs :)
Be the change you want to be :)
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JLT1

There are a few hundred reasons why he could have guessed that you are a transgendered woman.  The only way he could have known is if someone told him.  If he were guessing and said that, you would have been outraged or even confused if you were cis.  Then he would have apologized and said he thought you were someone else or something like that. In the end, it doesn't matter although it does hurt. 

If you are worried, look at yourself and work on those areas where you may be weak and that you can control.  Then keep working on them.  It will get better.

Hugs,

Jen
To move forward is to leave behind that which has become dear. It is a call into the wild, into becoming someone currently unknown to us. For most, it is a call too frightening and too challenging to heed. For some, it is a call to be more than we were capable of being, both now and in the future.
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Gina Taylor

Quote from: piglet smith on April 14, 2014, 06:13:19 PM
You shouldn't let it get to you. Sometimes, some people just seem to home in on some cue that may betray you. It doesn't have to  be bad, just happens. You learn to just go "ok" and go on and forget about it. I've been read so many times that it doesn't faze me anymore and so long as they keep treating me with common respect, then its all good.

Very good points there. I'm definitely going to take on your attitude. He did phase me out a bit for the weekend, but I got over it.  :icon_blah:
Gina Marie Taylor  8)
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Gina Taylor

Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on April 14, 2014, 06:15:05 PM
Gina, do not let it get to you. You are all woman!

Thanks for your heart warming words Cynthia.  :icon_rockon: I will definitely keep them in mind if I ever run into a situation like that again.
Gina Marie Taylor  8)
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Gina Taylor

Quote from: birkin on April 14, 2014, 06:16:12 PM
People like that are complete jack asses. I wouldn't take it personally, because if someone is going to go out of their way to do something like that (and ask if other trans people go to the library...? Wtf? Is he trying to get a date?) they've got something going on in the head. Normal people don't pay that much attention to others unless they've got some hangup.

You've got a very good point. I've been coming to this library for a long time, and I would have picked up any other Trans here, so I really think this guy is on something. So I'll be keeping my distance. Strange way to be picking up people . . . ???
Gina Marie Taylor  8)
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Veronica M

Quote from: Gina Taylor on April 15, 2014, 09:36:45 AM
Very good points there. I'm definitely going to take on your attitude. He did phase me out a bit for the weekend, but I got over it.  :icon_blah:

That a girl Gena... I knew you had it in you... Some people are just jerks in this world and if we let them get to us were just allowing them to control us.. My theory... If they don't like who I am, take a hike, or better yet worry more about yourself than me, because I sure don't want to waist my time on people such as that.
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Gina Taylor

Quote from: Veronica M on April 14, 2014, 06:32:54 PM
Well that kind of sucks... LOL... If it was so "obvious" you would have to think he would have been able to answer your question though... Good response by the way... Bottom line, you are who you are inside and let no one tell you different. As the saying goes, "->-bleeped-<- happens" so don't let it get you down... Your doing just fine girlfriend...

Very well said, Veronica, and thanks as always for the vote of confidence girlfriend!  :)
Gina Marie Taylor  8)
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Gina Taylor

Quote from: JamesG on April 14, 2014, 07:47:09 PM
He may have seen you before when you were presenting as male and while transitioning so would know that way.  But yeah, that was rather insensitive.   At least he was not hostile about it...

Interesting take on the situation, but fortunately I'm so much different when I'm in my male mode that nobody can tell the difference between the two. Were like night and day. Two totally different personalities.  :) :(
Gina Marie Taylor  8)
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Gina Taylor

Quote from: spooky on April 14, 2014, 09:18:47 PM
it probably happens to all of us a lot more than we know.  most people just aren't rude about it.

today i saw a *flawlessly beautiful* trans woman downtown.  what gave her away?  i don't know...she definitely wasn't clockable to the average person, but other trans girls and guys who like trans girls seem to have a sixth sense about it.  maybe you can think of it kind of like "gaydar," if that's useful to you.

Sure. I understand perfectly. We can almost sense these things about our own kind.
Gina Marie Taylor  8)
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Gina Taylor

Quote from: KelsieJ on April 14, 2014, 09:33:27 PM
If he knows other transwomen and asked you if you knew them, chances are he's a ->-bleeped-<- and knows what to look for.

Don't sweat it, he's probably just a perv vs you giving off any telltale signs :)

Interesting take on it Kelsie, and that's something that I definitely will watch out for. I'm just a simple conservative woman who doesn't overdress to attract attention, so I don't really know what could have attracted him, but you never know. It could have been just simply the way that I flick my hair or something.
Gina Marie Taylor  8)
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Gina Taylor

#18
Quote from: Veronica M on April 15, 2014, 09:45:48 AM
That a girl Gina... I knew you had it in you... Some people are just jerks in this world and if we let them get to us were just allowing them to control us.. My theory... If they don't like who I am, take a hike, or better yet worry more about yourself than me, because I sure don't want to waste my time on people such as that.

I agree with you 100%. Fortunately he didn't get under my skin that bad, but the confusing thing that he had said was that he had made a comment about my bust line and then he told me that I was obvious.
Gina Marie Taylor  8)
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Veronica M

Quote from: Gina Taylor on April 15, 2014, 09:59:37 AM

I agree with you 100%. Fortunately he didn't get under my skin that bad, but the confusing thing that he had said was that he had made a comment on my bust line and then he told me that I was obvious.


Personally I think it was like others have said here as to him being a ->-bleeped-<-... Screw him.... (Opps, poor choice of words)... LOL
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