Hey there all,

I'm about to graduate and me and my doc are planning on getting my 'new life' together which is pretty much starting all over away from people who used to know me and leaving my old job where i'm stealth as a guy but still don't feel safe. I want to become more confident in myself and I'm not sure how to start. I'm in my late 20's and I've always been really shy and against social networking like hookup/dating sites or facebook. I'm getting my gender marker changed soon and I have just about enough saved up for top surgery. I don't know whether or not I should wait for top surgery because I feel like someone will find out and it'll cast this expectation over the rest of whatever is going on between me and potential person, but I don't want to keep delaying myself forever because of the way I was born.

Some ppl know me as a trans person and respect me, and there's a few people I'd like to get to know better, but I always let opportunity pass me by. Tips for a shy dude just trying to test the waters?

I can only give you my opinion and how I did it. I fought Dysphoria as long as I could and finally hit the wall to where I just dived into shark filled waters because there was no other way for me at that point. You are young though and you have much more time available to go slower than I did. You just have to make small steps and build confidence off of each one. Just don't get discouraged along the way if you run into a negative experience. I did not let my decision to transition rest with anyone else though. I did it for me and if people couldn't accept it, oh well, the door is behind you. Live your life for you and no one else. Dysphoria gets worse every day of every year that passes. Good luck.

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on April 13, 2014, 10:01:16 PM
I can only give you my opinion and how I did it. I fought Dysphoria as long as I could and finally hit the wall to where I just dived into shark filled waters because there was no other way for me at that point. You are young though and you have much more time available to go slower than I did. You just have to make small steps and build confidence off of each one. Just don't get discouraged along the way if you run into a negative experience. I did not let my decision to transition rest with anyone else though. I did it for me and if people couldn't accept it, oh well, the door is behind you. Live your life for you and no one else. Dysphoria gets worse every day of every year that passes. Good luck.

Thank you for your advice Jessica,
Luckily my dysphoria has lessened with 7 months of hrt and lots of soul searching and being involved with other people, but my self esteem has always been wonky. My transition I know doesn't rest on anyone else's shoulders and I refuse to make someone else deal with my own issues. My religion helps understand how to better myself, and I've come a long way in my 4 years of transitioning. I feel very nervous about being open, if hopeful.
Thank you again for your kind and thoughtful words, it helps even to hear other's stories

I think sometimes it's like Jessica says and you just have to dive in.

If you are looking to connect with people in general and not specific people, I think finding areas that interest you and can connect with people is the best way to start. That sounds odd, I hope it made sense.