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Stealth while on HRT?

Started by Kara Jayde, April 04, 2014, 11:08:15 PM

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Evelyn K

Quote from: judithlynn on April 06, 2014, 10:39:55 PM
Yes;

Its suprising how some people do notice things.I am 12 months into HRT again and with very low T in my system, feminization has been steady, although a little slow. Recently I met up with some interstate friends who haven't seen me for about a year. One guy about my age, commented that I looked really good and very fit. (Not sure how he worked that out as I am still too much overweight), but he went onto to say that I look younger. Then the following day I met up with a couple and their 22 year old daughter. They all commented on how good I looked with the wife saying that my complexion looked great. Then the daughter insisted on giving me a double cheek to cheek kiss and hug. She whispered ...your skin is so soft and I love your eyebrows... in my ear so maybe she guessed. She is a Surgical Nurse.

Then just last week, a couple of the guys in my office (where I still present as male), commented that they had never seen me in jeans before and both commented that jeans really suited me. I was wearing my womens high waisted skinny jeans (remember they button up differently and can be quite tight in the crotch, but luckily after so much HRT, down there is now quite small, almost unnoticeable.

I have noticed that some women friends who don't know that I am in transition have been looking at me slightly different, one even commenting last week that I seemed much more relaxed and calm  and said that I seem to be walking more gracefully. I laughed...actually a giggle. I was also watching a movie recently with some friends and there was a sad bit and then one of the girls noticed that I had tears streaming down my face. Again other women seem to notice these things as the changes happen.

So there are a whole lot of subtle changes. My therapist told me she says that now with oestrogen the dominant hormone in met body that I ill be giving off a lot of female phemerones and starting to smell differently more of a female musky scent that will be noticeable to men. There is no doubt in my mind that things seem different, not just physically but emotionally and mentally as well, sort of like the brain getting re-wired.

So whilst my boobs and nipples are starting more and more to be evident with a lot of breast tissue on the side, so I too now need to wear a sports bra all the time, but when I wear one of my sexy Playtex underwire Wonderbra and Panties a friend says that I am looking very nice indeed with a genuine cleavage (I am close to 44C), I really think that it is the other things that probably give us away.

Next month I expect to be in my UK house, so it is going to be interesting how people that know me there see  and notice the changes.

I read and devoured this. I love it. I'm registering the same hints from people that they're noticing something is different and I'm giddy that I have this power.

I love what I see in the mirror.
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Khalysta

I think I am stealthy at least co workers don't say anything other than I look young ( Im late 30s most thought I was early 20s ).  Work is relaxed so I just tend to wear jeans and a looser button down shirt with a tshirt underneath.  I also wear a sports bra since they are getting a bit noticeable.  I seem to get a lot more looks now but I can't really read it since I'm looking more and more feminine but I am in so cal so with medium length hair and earrings I look like a surfer too.  I'll wear some androgynous stuff on occasion.  The looser/baggy shirts definitely help conceal breast growth although I think I'm to the point where it almost seems obvious.

I do kinda laugh at work though when the girls want me to lift something.  My arms were never large to begin with and now they are like sticks and I struggle to lift like a water jug onto the dispenser or move heavier equipment.  I actually joke that they are probably stronger and they just look at me odd.  I actually plan to come out around the time I get ffs which will also be 1.5 years on hrt and a little over a year at full dosages.
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carrie359

Nattie,
I started a diet six months ago and HRT four months ago.. also have not had a hair cut in six months... I have lost from 240 to177 and I am not recognizable.. so it depends on the person..
For me the mental and physical changes have totally changed my persona and I am getting ready for hair removal. I was told by a MTF friend that some girls think they can be stealth but the urge to socially transition gets pretty strong for some. That has totally happened to me.
For me I don't like acting like a guy and Its getting harder if not impossible to be manly. For me, being girly came a heck of a lot easier than i ever thought it could.
Please do therapy, no way I could navigate this without a therapist.  I still try to question my decision to do this... because for me I am losing a wonderful wife and life just to be who I am..
Just be prepared to be a woman if you start HRT.. its a powerful thing and if you are truly trans there may be no going back.
I know because I have more than one time said this is it I am not going to do that then wake up the next morning and I am in girl mode totally..and loving the change to my body.
Susan's is a great place to be and there are so many girls here that can help you.. good luck
Carrie
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Stella Stanhope

QuoteI'm wanting to go on HRT very soon, but I don't think I'll be ready to come out for a long while. I'm happy to just start to look a little more feminine while presenting as a man, until I'm ready (have to wait on my hair growing out and my job change anyway), and I don't think HRT is strong enough for people to really notice me changing, except in one area...

If I do develop breasts very quickly, what should I do to stay stealth? Would that mean having to wear binders until I go full time? Is that how everyone else here did it before presenting as female?

I have the same worries on all the above. The NHS won't prescribe a low dose of HRT unless I come out at work and change all my documentation first, so basically I've been asked to socially transition before any intervention of any kind. Sadly, this is exactly the scenario I wanted to avoid. Anywho, regarding breast development, they're advocating that it would be highly unlikely to be able to take low-dose for more than a few weeks before the physical effects are noticable. I want to make a post about this, as its all a major concern.

I'd love to know who's been able to pull off stealth HRT and for how long. :)



There are no more barriers to cross... But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis... I gain no deeper knowledge of myself. No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.

When you find yourself hopelessly stuck between the floors of gender - you make yourself at home in the lift.
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Ltl89

Quote from: Nattie on April 09, 2014, 07:28:16 PM
Having seen your photos I find that hard to believe, haha. I'm 26, so I'm starting pretty late as well, which may mean it takes much longer for the hormones to feminize me (hopefully they still do though).

That being said, on the topic of this thread, I'm already feeling anxious/impatient about coming out, and I've only been out to myself for just over two weeks. I don't know how so many of you stay in to your friends and family for so many years, it must be a real struggle. I don't want to go full time or anything (I won't pass at all) but I do want people to know about my transition, in the very least, provided they're supportive.

Seriously, age isn't the biggest hinderance people make it out to be.  There are plenty of passable older women out there that have started much older than you.  In the grand scheme of things, people in our age bracket (I'm 25 and started at 24) are relatively early transitioners.  So don't get too discouraged because hormones can still work despite your age.  It depends on many other factors anyway.
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luna nyan

Quote from: "I'm Stella Stanhope, and that's why I drink". on April 15, 2014, 03:35:07 PM
I'd love to know who's been able to pull off stealth HRT and for how long. :)

2 years low dose and counting. :)
Drifting down the river of life...
My 4+ years non-transitioning HRT experience
Ask me anything!  I promise you I know absolutely everything about nothing! :D
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Kaylee

Quote from: "I'm Stella Stanhope, and that's why I drink". on April 15, 2014, 03:35:07 PM
I'd love to know who's been able to pull off stealth HRT and for how long. :)

I managed a year on a semi-skimmed dose, then 5 months full fat.  I probably could of lasted in stealth at work a bit longer, but just couldn't.
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KayXo

I was doing laser and taking HRT, Had long hair already and a pretty androgynous face to begin with. Within a few months, I couldn't go stealth anymore. Even with my male voice, people thought I was a girl. It happened VERY fast, perhaps even too fast!  ;D
I am not a medical doctor, nor a scientist - opinions expressed by me on the subject of HRT are merely based on my own review of some of the scientific literature over the last decade or so, on anecdotal evidence from women in various discussion forums that I have come across, and my personal experience

On HRT since early 2004
Post-op since late 2005
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Stella Stanhope

Hey everyone, thanks for the replies. I see that male fail can come early, but that a lot of it can be down to presentation, with physical effects hideable. The only physical attribute that I feel would be almost impossible to conceal would be breasts and hips which from what most women on this site say can take many months even on low dose.

If it so happened that my face feminized then I'd be more inclined to present as female, however if facial feminization is minimal but body fat deposits are overt, then that would pose a massive issue, as I'd therefore prefer to present as male as facial feminization is -socially- the most important Feature for passing.

All in all of I'd prefer to do stealth as male until it's impossible for even the most cynical cos person to believe I'm maab. Of course, that is probably an impossibility for me due to my physical features and as I prefer non binary presentation. Hence why is. Be looking at going stealth on low dose for as long as possible.

Any thoughts on this or experience with such a plan? :)
There are no more barriers to cross... But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis... I gain no deeper knowledge of myself. No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.

When you find yourself hopelessly stuck between the floors of gender - you make yourself at home in the lift.
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ConfusedHumanUK

Quote from: provizora2 on April 05, 2014, 06:56:42 AM
I am at Charing. I was there two days ago for a surgical referral so I know their process well. What they want is for you to commence the PROCESS of transition. Change your name, start to change records like bank records, NHS records and start to come out to people. They expect you to document these changes. They do not care what you wear. Having said that if you turn up for your hormone appointment with a beard to your belly-button and bovver boots then do not expect things to go well.

RLE is really about starting the process of change and making the commitment to YOURSELF. No one is expecting you to turn up in a glittery frock, 6" heels and blonde wig. You could "dress as female" by wearing ladies' trousers and a plain blouse and 99.9% of people would not even notice but you would know and it is an easy first step on the process.

At some point you have to face the world. Wait long enough and the hormones will get you to the "weird" stage where you are neither one thing or the other and neither gender role will work. You need to be ready for this. There will not be a magic day where you wake up looking passable. It happens slowly and you need to be prepared for that.

Yep this is pretty how much I've understood it as well. I've been speaking to people on ->-bleeped-<-'s UK transgender section and it does seem to be more of a case of showing a commitment. So things like name change, telling friends, family etc. It does not mean dressing up in a skirt and high heels anymore.

To be honest I think if they did still do that, most people would continue to just self medicate for the 6-12 months leading up to their GIC appointment.
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immortal gypsy

Quote from: "I'm Stella Stanhope, and that's why I drink". on April 17, 2014, 02:51:18 AM
Hey everyone, thanks for the replies. I see that male fail can come early, but that a lot of it can be down to presentation, with physical effects hideable. The only physical attribute that I feel would be almost impossible to conceal would be breasts and hips which from what most women on this site say can take many months even on low dose.

If it so happened that my face feminized then I'd be more inclined to present as female, however if facial feminization is minimal but body fat deposits are overt, then that would pose a massive issue, as I'd therefore prefer to present as male as facial feminization is -socially- the most important Feature for passing.

All in all of I'd prefer to do stealth as male until it's impossible for even the most cynical cos person to believe I'm maab. Of course, that is probably an impossibility for me due to my physical features and as I prefer non binary presentation. Hence why is. Be looking at going stealth on low dose for as long as possible.

Any thoughts on this or experience with such a plan? :)

It may be harder then you might think, (not impossible just harder). When going stealth make sure you can switch you whole persona (voice,  posture, stance,  mannerisms ect) over from guy to girl mode when required. A while after my second attempt at transitioning  while my body showed no physical effects of the hormones, one of my local drinkers recognized what I was going through, by the way I carried myself.  Yes he did have understanding of transgender issues but it is something you should be aware of.
Do not fear those who have nothing left to lose, fear those who are prepared to lose it all

Si vis bellum, parra pacem
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Seras

4 months HRT and not been busted yet :P

Just gotta sort my voice out D:
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Stella Stanhope

QuoteI managed a year on a semi-skimmed dose, then 5 months full fat.

Quote4 months HRT and not been busted yet :P

QuoteI can still pass as a guy despite b being on hrt for over three years

Thanks for the replies everyone :) I am genuinely pleased that you all are happy with where you're at and where your going, though.

But, why the bloody hell is the NHS forcing me to do RLT and socially transition pre-HRT, on the grounds that it'll be impossible to hide low-dose HRT for even a few weeks???
I'm getting increasingly annoyed by what's been asked of me, as it sounds like what the NHS are saying to me is likely to be cast-iron bull->-bleeped-<-, and I'm being forced to do stuff that our community was asked to do back in the 90's when health professionals had no idea how to effectively deal with trans* people.

I'm 29 years of age, not 19! I ain't gonna change physically that much on HRT over a short time, let alone whilst on a low-dose.
There are no more barriers to cross... But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis... I gain no deeper knowledge of myself. No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.

When you find yourself hopelessly stuck between the floors of gender - you make yourself at home in the lift.
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Kova V

It really depends on what you think is going to be the least stressful and the best for you.

So I've done the whole androgynous thing in middle school through college. I'd totally recommend it for people that have concerns about how people will perceive you. I'm 30 now, and I wish I would have had the courage to go further, sooner. I've started back down this path and I am going to stay stealth, in my professional life, as long as I can. I am a bit concerned that after I start hormones(June hopefully), I might not be able to hide my breasts, all the women in my family are tall stick people that are very well endowed. At the end of the day, that's what I'm doing.

As for your voice, check this playlist out, I practice it when I'm in the shower and in the car and every weekend. Short of the South Korean voice feminization surgery, it's the best I've found. http://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLC5375389210FC490 

This is just what I'm doing, at the end of the day it's really about minimizing your stress. If you stress out too much trying to conceal your change, it might be harder than if you just came out.

As a side note, another reason I'm going stealth is because my boss is a strict Mormon so I'm looking for a new job as we speak. Hopefully I'll find one before my girls fill out, I don't need him to tell me how I'm going to hell - because I'm totally going to heaven. ;P
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@Diana


i started hrt when i was 19-20 (my breasts grew a bit) and when i got my first job a year later, i still had very short hair & i had to use the bandage to tie around my breasts (just like tomboy did to hide their breasts) LOL although i look like a fem gay boy , it worked & noone seemed to care because i got my job done (in Airlines industry)
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helen2010

Quote from: luna nyan on April 15, 2014, 07:52:18 PM
2 years low dose and counting. :)
nearly 3 years on low dose hrt - only issue is that folk that I have not seen in a while think that I look between 10 and 15 years younger than I should.  Feeling pleased.  Breast growth and fat redistribution is not that obvious if I wear loose clothing, so not yet clocked.
Aisla
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luna nyan

Quote from: Aisla on April 22, 2014, 04:32:42 AM
nearly 3 years on low dose hrt - only issue is that folk that I have not seen in a while think that I look between 10 and 15 years younger than I should.  Feeling pleased.  Breast growth and fat redistribution is not that obvious if I wear loose clothing, so not yet clocked.
Aisla
I have the same issue.  Bumped into some folks I haven't seen in a while and they think I've had some sore of procedure done.  If only they knew. :P
Drifting down the river of life...
My 4+ years non-transitioning HRT experience
Ask me anything!  I promise you I know absolutely everything about nothing! :D
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KayXo

Quote from: Kova V on April 22, 2014, 02:24:07 AM
As a side note, another reason I'm going stealth is because my boss is a strict Mormon so I'm looking for a new job as we speak. Hopefully I'll find one before my girls fill out, I don't need him to tell me how I'm going to hell - because I'm totally going to heaven. ;P

"At the gates of heaven, St. Peter greeted 3 people on their way into heaven.
They were a TS Woman, and 2 ministers.
St. Peter Chatted with them for awhile, then said to the ministers
I'm sorry gentlemen, but I have to inform you that you've got to spend
some time in hell to pay for your sins. They groaned but accepted it,
until, ST.Peter said to the lady, you my dear can go right on into heaven.

Well those minsters had a snippy fit, They Complained to St.Peter,
wondering why they as representatives of god had to go to hell to pay for
their sins, but the woman was allowed right in!!!!! :-(

Well, St. Pete looked right at them and said
"But Gentlemen, She has already been through
   Hell on Earth!!""
I am not a medical doctor, nor a scientist - opinions expressed by me on the subject of HRT are merely based on my own review of some of the scientific literature over the last decade or so, on anecdotal evidence from women in various discussion forums that I have come across, and my personal experience

On HRT since early 2004
Post-op since late 2005
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