Alright, so I was wondering about being attracted to transpeople, as a transperson.

Let's say a transperson (straight or bi) looks at another transperson of the opposite gender. Do you feel an instant connection or empathy? Perhaps a curiosity? Or is it irrelevant? You completely overlook the fact that they're trans and it's as if they were cis?

Yes, I know transpeople are like cispeople and not a subcategory of either gender, but in most cases (which is also likely to happen with cispeople), you cannot overlook certain features and traits that may allude towards masculinity/femininity.

I'm asking if it's a preference for anyone, basically. I know it shouldn't matter if someone's trans or cis, but it's surely an individual's trait. Some people like blondes, others like brunettes... some like black people, others have a crush on Asians. Please don't confuse this with racial bias or any sort of xenophobia, I'm speaking of aesthetics and attraction, it's not rational. I like chocolate and vanilla; I won't say chocolate is superior to vanilla, but I like the flavour better. My neighbour might like the taste vanilla better, however. It's human nature to have certain leanings and preferences, has little to do with treating anyone different because of who or what they are, but with your subconscious, the mystique of attraction and feelings.

Feel like I'm treading on eggshells and trying not to offend anyone's sensibilities but it's a genuine curiosity of mine.

Would you prefer a transperson as a romantic partner, or a cisperson? The politically correct answer is that it doesn't matter, I know. It doesn't to me either, but if I saw a transperson that's attractive and a cisperson that's also attractive, I'd probably feel more drawn to the transperson. Not to satisfy any sort of kink, mind you, I would treat them as I would any cisperson and would expect nothing more than I would from a cisperson, but the romantic bonding between two transpeople is somewhat too adorable and cute to just... not think about it.

What're your opinions?

I suppose it's a bit vague because every individual's unique and once you get to know them, the thought of whether they're trans or cis just fades away from your mind. But yeah...

These thoughts crossed my head a few times, specifically after running into FTMs inbetween my appointments, and also here in the forums when I see transmen interacting with transwomen just as cismen interact with ciswomen... a bit of a gap between them, two different genders, but with transpeople there's the twist of sharing a similar story and having to battle for an identity that satisfies them.

Not to be lewd, but is it a turn-on? For the transmen out there, for example, do you ever fantasize about yourself with a pretty transwoman that just happens to have a few androgynous traits? Such as tall, skinny, small hips... Of course there's multiple sexualities at play, so a transwoman could envision herself with another transwoman, or a transman with another transman (yaoi, yay!)...

Not expecting a consensus with this thread, but I'd sure like to hear about people's sexualities and attractions, how being trans might or might not affect them, or even how their sexuality helped them accept themselves as trans...

I like women.. And see no point of further labels or qualifications.

I've been in four relationships (however brief some may have been) over the course of my life so far. All have been with transwomen. I did not actively seek to be in relationships with other transwomen, it just happened that way. We immediately had something in common that we wouldn't have had with a cis person. We understood each others struggles. We bonded over them. I really couldn't care less when it comes to someone's body. I'm attracted to personality, period. How sexually attracted to someone I am is directly derived from how attractive I find their personality and how much chemistry we have together.

I've seen a couple of trans women that I've felt very attracted towards. The first time it happened I was like "whoa!", it kind of surprised me and I had to work out how I felt about that... then came to the realisation that they're women, so what would it matter?

I see. I've been in about 8 or so relationships with ciswomen, one with a cisman. The numbers seem high but that's solely to do with the fact that I wasn't aware of my gender identity disorder and mostly thought of myself as a straight male for a good chunk of my life. I still took care of my eyebrows, waxed my legs, loved shopping and had feminine interests, which made other people ridicule me, but I was mostly "happy".

I recall the first time I saw a transsexual online; it was on YouTube, I still regarded myself as a heteronormative male with feminine leanings but today it tranquilizes me to know that I didn't look at her any different from a ciswoman. I thought she was pretty and interesting, clicked through her videos to learn about the subject and back then I would've never imagined that I'd be coming to terms with myself for being trans. My childhood was when dysphoria affected me the most, then I grew out of it somewhat. Still was plenty picky about my body but people showed romantic interest in me, so I guess that made me blind.

Thing is that today I feel curious about other transpeople. I don't see it as a "label" or a "qualification" on them, I just think of it as a fact. "That person's experienced gender dysphoria".
I find myself wanting to know other transpeople; I don't know if this includes romance or not, but it's become a part of me. I don't know if things are new to me and I crave having someone close who understands me, or what it is. A sense of security, perhaps? Natural empathy.

If I were to be in a relationship right now, I think it wouldn't matter if it's a transperson or a cisperson, would mostly depend on my attraction. However, when I see an FTM or MTF I want to walk up and say "hi! I'm here for the same reason as you", and just get to know them. I don't get this feeling with cispeople... I'm at a point where I even avoid social interaction, but it's odd to me that just the sight of a transperson makes me want to chat. Perhaps I need better friends, I don't know. My friends are good and true, or at least that's how I perceive them, but I know it would be awkward if they knew who I am. Not just for them, but for me aswell... there's nothing I want more than to be accepted, and perhaps I'm too cynical to believe that anyone other than a transperson will be able to understand me and respect me.

I think it's a natural human desire to want to be around others who we feel truly understand us. Gender dysphoria is something that most people don't experience, and it's a big part of our lives and our pasts. It makes sense that you'd want to make friends with others who feel it, too. It makes it a little easier to deal with. It feels good to know you're not alone.

At the moment I am only attracted to women, cis or trans, it's irrelevant (which surprised me too when I first realized it, but makes perfect sense). I've heard HRT can change my orientation, so you may need to ask me again once I begin hormones.

That being said I've never actually dated a transwoman, and I've never dated anyone whilst presenting as my real gender (only dated ciswomen in the past whilst presenting as male).

Quote from: Mermaid on April 16, 2014, 05:29:32 AM
...when I see an FTM or MTF I want to walk up and say "hi! I'm here for the same reason as you", and just get to know them.

Fair enough, but just keep in mind some trans people might feel that they've been read/compromised if someone they don't know starts talking to them about being trans*, well intentioned or not. Some people might feel that someone being able to read they are trans*, even if that person is also trans*, would be rather mortifying because it might imply "you're not passing".

This topic makes me a little uncomfortable. Because I know that ultimately, I want men. If I'm attracted to an unpassable MtF, it's cuz I see them as a man. That would cause a lot of dysphoria. i mean, I am MTF too, so it would be like, oh I'm the girl and you're the boy. I mean girl, wink wink.

Theoretically I could be attracted to an FTM too if they were masculine enough but that never happened for me and it just seems like a bad idea even if it did. 2 dysphoric people i. the same relationship? I don't get why some MTFs seem to want to date FTMs but not cis guys though. sometimes I wonder if trans people really manage to see each other as their target gender or just respects the labels and pronouns but can't change the mental image. Thinking about it kinda drives me crazy. I get that you can't help who you're attracted to but some relationships might just end up hurting both of yall.

That makes sense to me. I am on the opposite side of the same coin, for me to be attracted to a MTF (or anyone for that matter) I have to see them as female.  I've met with really bad CDs that... I just couldn't get into, and have crushed on cute ones who weren't even presenting as F.

I've always been sexually attracted to TS, (MTF because it was most visible, but I am fascinated by FTM dudes too), and I've always related and been attracted with "women" better.  I'm not sure if that makes me a "->-bleeped-<-", or it was the way my own GID manifested itself.

Sexual orientation and gender identity really are completely decoupled.  That is one reason having trans people lumped into LGBT kind of strikes me as not quite right, although I understand why from a sociopolitical perspective.

Honestly, I'm in no way more attracted to trans people.  Sure there are attractive transmen, but it's not like I would purposefully seek one out or avoid one.  It's more about the individual person whether trans or cis.  However, I'll be honest here.  If I were to date a transguy some day down the road, there would be potential physical things that would have to be discussed.  I'd rather not go into detail with that, but we all have our preferences and our own comfort levels.  And I'd still have a similar conversation with a cis guy as I have major hang ups in the physical area and there are things that would need to be respected about my body and the process before I would even consider intimacy with someone.  The conversation would just be a bit different with a transguy and it would be a little more awkward for me.  Sorry if that's triggering to some, I honestly don't intend to be.  Just my feeling as of now. 

Quote from: kelly_aus on April 16, 2014, 04:54:25 AM
I like women.. And see no point of further labels or qualifications.

This is also basically how I feel. Sure, it could be nice to be with a woman who also understands the difficulty of being trans, but I don't really require understanding, just acceptance and empathy. There will always be things that my partner won't understand exactly, even if they were a transwoman; so I mean, that ship already sailed before Gender Identity ever factored in.

I don't know if this is offensive, if so, I apologize.  Almost everyone has physical attributes that they prefer, there's no denying it and I have an attraction towards a girl with a penis.  I wouldn't want to be the cause of someone's dysphoria, so I guess ideally it would be a non-op transwoman who is perfectly comfortable with having a penis and using it.  I could also go for a very feminine looking man.  Either way, I prefer my partner to be the dominant one in the relationship.  In the long run, personality is worth more, so these are just my personal preferences if given the choice.

Being trans* has nothing to do to what i'm attracted to. I conside myself bi with a big lean towards men and masculinity.

I never have been in a relationship as I just could't do it as male (it just didn't work out).

I did fall for this transman who I was already friends with and knew for about a few years (I met him when we were both before HRT, but now we both are on HRT, but for me he always was a man). It was totally unplanned and I really didn't think of him as a possible partner at the start, but he made the feelings came anyway (he however fled when I started to get to close emotionally, mostly insecurities about himself).
If I'm honest I would have liked it if he has a penis, but as doesn't want the surgery, I will just have a boyfriend without it (I like his personality more than what part kind of sexual part he has). Though a head, torso, waist, arms, legs, hands, feet, fingers and toes are really required!

Anything goes for me.  I tried for years to insist to myself that I wasn't anything other than a straight guy, but when I got introspective and peeled the layers back, I could really be attracted to pretty much anyone as long as I felt an emotional connection.  I have yet to have sex with a guy or a transperson, but I probably will at some point after surgery. 

I could be attracted to a woman with or without a penis physically or through an emotional connection.  I've tried exploring my sexuality and I sometimes fantasise about getting with men romantically, but in practice I wouldn't want to be sexually involved with one.

I'm comfortable with myself, which is the main thing.

I got my preference but they all have alot of exeptions

I identify as bisexual, but I feel I prefern a relationship with men, Women for me is just sexy but they make me quit anxious and I cant relate as much as with men =/

Personally I think transmen are most hot, theres both the emotional part about both being trans and could understand the whole queeness but I also think phycially many are pretty sexy.
Many transmen tend to have a sorta androgynous look which I like(I guess that also why I prefern asian guys and black women). Transwomen can also be hot but I have rarely been interesteed even when they got nice boobs.

Sure the fact a person alone is trans or cis dosent make them all attractive, there also alot of transpeople I dont find attractive and alot of cis which I find attractive. Somethimes I also switch and I go for someone I think is trans then turn out he is cis..


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I'm attracted to women. If shes trans its whatever honestly, as long as she is presenting full time as a woman. However there are exceptions of course, workplace environments and such. Since the legal aspect of transitioning is still pretty screwed up for those of us in certain parts of the united states.

I can't be with someone that isn't living as their true self. Same goes for sexuality, I can't be in a relationship with someone who is living in fear cause they're gay or bi and is ashamed of being seen in public with me.

ill put it blunt, im a mtf pre op, who lives with and dating a mtf post op.

Totally.

Only time I've kissed someone post-transition, it was another trans woman. To me, there is so often just a real emotional attraction. That is what makes me attracted to someone, an emotional connection. And so many other trans-women my age, they are just total sweethearts. A bit quiet and reserved, just like me, from years of emotional peer abuse due to their femininity, and truly appreciative of every moment where they just get to relax and be nice, and they're always so appreciative of comments, so fun to make smile, they appreciate every bit of their femininity so much, and I really feel close to them in that way. We seem to share a lot emotionally.

The thing is, though, when you say "attraction," did you mean like physical attraction? In that regard, I don't know. I guess I don't really get physically attracted to people so much. When I'm in love with someone, it's because I can imagine snuggling up to them at the end of the night and just feeling peaceful and blissful and a true emotional connection.

With that said, though, trans guys are definitely freaking HOT! I've never dated a guy before, so I don't know whether that would actually work out or not, but yeah, so many of the pictures that trans-guys post are definitely "God, you're hot" kinds of pictures. There's something about the androgynous facial features combined with male muscles and swagger that is just so damned attractive.