Quote from: Abbyxo on April 16, 2014, 12:06:58 AM

I's wunna dwy ur hair, hugguw u, make u food, give u plushie and put u sleep.
Don't mind me, I've mental issues, lol... But no, your picture looks good enough to make me babytalk like a moron because you're super cute. I can't wait to start HRT! I already did the blood test and on Tuesday I'm gonna go and maybe get prescribed something! Yay! *raves with glowsticks* Oh, right, this thread is about you and people who post pictures! Sorry!
Quote from: Abbyxo on April 16, 2014, 12:06:58 AMBut yahh, I don't care about gender anymre it just creates and stress and I been obsessing waay too much. Ima just be a person.Tho I do wana keep taking hormones and growong my hair out and generally living as female, I should prolly mention that. But yeah.
On a more serious note, about what you mentioned... I think everyone has questions about whether this path is right or not. I have them too. I remember my first few appointments, leaving the hospital going like "am I crazy?" "what am I doing here again?", it eventually fizzled away. I think it's an adaptation process, could be the same for you and it'll gradually get better and you'll ease into your new skin.
I know I don't even want doctors to apply female pronouns to me, lol. I'd just feel weird... Like I'm a cripple or something, you know? There I am, half-sagging tight pants, ripped sneakers, hoodie, messy long hair, no attempts at looking female, and they're asking me if I want to be called "she"... I want to, but only if/when I look or act like it, not because I asked them to, else it wouldn't feel like they'd be addressing
me, a person who chooses to present a certain way and tries to give certain signals... it'd feel more like they're taking pity on me. When it's time for them to ma'am me, they won't even need to ask me.
Most TS people I contact with dream of "being women", almost as if their gender was their identity, and the rest is secondary. I guess in a way we're conditioned to be like that? If dysphoria hits hard I know everything can be about gender, but the truth is that it's not. There's plenty of room to just be a man/woman that doesn't cater to some ridiculous binary and is willing to just be him/herself.
Anyway, just wanted to reinforce the idea that you can be unsure about your gender. Second thoughts don't make it any less real, they make you thoughtful and prudent. I felt a lot of pressure to outright tell my doctors that I'm a girl, when in reality I wasn't so sure. I knew I wanted to feminize myself and would feel more comfortable not being perceived as a guy, but it was all so scary to me that I didn't really know. Needless to say, it didn't feel like getting guidance and advice to debate on my future, it felt like a trial to prove that I'm transgender enough for HRT. I hope you didn't struggle through the same to get where you are... it's fine to have doubts. =)
PS: Look up Andrej Pejic