Does anyone have advice when it comes to coming out to kids?

I know kids are easier to talk to about things like this because in reality they are pretty easy concepts. But I ask mainly because with the stress my family has on me, it feels more difficult to explain a thing. To provide some back story, I was out to my mom as "questioning" in 2010 and after years of trying and a huge emotional, nervous breakdown last year; she and my step dad finally started to acknowledge me by my pronouns and new name. But they've made me be quiet about it with my little sister who will be 9 this year. It's been killing me to be quiet about it and I want to get it out of my system so I don't have to hide anymore. How can I explain a thing to my sister while not having my parents want to wring my neck over it. I remember sometime in the late spring before I had to go back to the hospital, I was going to come out to her and tell her it was the reason for me going back in again; but my fears (mostly that a fear I had since I was 18 that I'd be disowned would happen if I was out) got me to shut up quick.

If it helps also, I want to be out to my cousins' kids who are always around the house (The oldest is 8 I think and the youngest might be 3...I'm bad with remembering birthdays and ages), but not sure how. I might have my fiance help me do this when he comes up here this summer, but I'm just wondering if anyone has helpful advice.

Thanks a bunch, everyone!

I'm going to give you my unvarnished opinion because you asked for it.

Telling you to "keep quiet" about your gender identity is cruel and controlling. We have a right to be who we are and to let others know.

However, just as they shouldn't be controlling what you say, you can't control what they do. If they're going to "tear their hair out" over your sister's knowledge that her sibling is trans, you can't stop them. That's how they'll react.

Very young children (3-5, say), will understand better by what they see. If they see you presenting as a male, they will accept that. If they ask questions ("why do you look like a boy") you can answer something like "I'm a boy inside so I don't like looking like a girl."

Older kids (6-10), can understand that you're feeling something. For your cousins, you can say "I feel like a boy inside so I'm trying to look like a boy. I like when people say "he" and "him" or "she" and "her" when they talk about me."

As for your sister, she will understand if you tell her "I am transgender, which means I was born a girl, but inside I feel like a boy, so looking and acting like a girl makes me unhappy. So you'll see me look and act more like a boy in the future. I like when people say "him" and "he" instead of "her" and "she" when they talk about me. I might even do things that turn my body into a boy's body. But I'll still be the same person inside, and all always love you and be there for you."

Good luck. I hope this works.

my mom was worried about me telling my brother who isn't much older than your sister. she was afraid he would be bullied and w/e else. i told him and he caught on this fastest, never misgenders me, nothing. he's even told his friends who don't even care, they're totally cool with it all. parents try to look out for their kids and how others will treat them and w/e else but in reality? kids will probably take it better than most adults. when i was first coming out, i got told to explain it as this: think of it as chocolate bar. the wrapper might change but the inside is still the same. i think a lot of people can understand it that way because it makes sense. explaining it the way suzifrommd did also works for older kids.