Hi Everyone
I'm new here. I have been reading many posts which have been very helpful and I see how supportive everyone is on this site.

I have been transgender for as far back as I could remember (3 or 4 years old). I am 52 now and have been struggling my whole life and the struggle is becoming harder everyday. My wife knows I'm transgender but does not know my true feelings of wanting to transition someday. I have been depressed for so long. I'm going to therapy and taking medication. I just have to get to the point to talk more with my wife. I am so afraid to hut the family and affect our marriage. I know I'm not the only one that has ever gone through this but it is so hard! If I was alone I could handle this better or realized this when I was younger but when the sisters that grew up at this time it was hard.

I want to take the next step. I'm ready but just have to get over this hurdle. I want HRT, I want to feel more feminine. I want to look more feminine.

Can anyone give me advice on how to talk with my wife? Now that is a stupid questions. I know there is a lot of kind advice here.
So sorry for the going on. I am so glad to be here!!
Thank you
Melanie

A big warm welcome to the family Melanie! First know you are by no means alone with your feelings. I started transition at 47 and I know what you mean about how things were for us so long ago. I lost a 16 year marriage myself, but I am much happier now and look forward to getting up every day and not missing a second of life. I lost a lot, but what I have gained has been much greater than the losses. You just have to be honest with your S.O. and lay it all out. I was on 12 daily meds myself due to the stress Gender Dysphoria placed on me. I have been off all 12 now for one year and feel 20 years younger so please face it yourself as you wont be disappointed. Here is a BIG HUG  to welcome you and make you feel right at home! The first step you should take is find a good Therapist with gender experience. They can help you make informed decisions and help with coming out.


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Quote from: Melanie CT on April 19, 2014, 07:17:37 AM
Hi Everyone
I'm new here. I have been reading many posts which have been very helpful and I see how supportive everyone is on this site.

I have been transgender for as far back as I could remember (3 or 4 years old). I am 52 now and have been struggling my whole life and the struggle is becoming harder everyday. My wife knows I'm transgender but does not know my true feelings of wanting to transition someday. I have been depressed for so long. I'm going to therapy and taking medication. I just have to get to the point to talk more with my wife. I am so afraid to hut the family and affect our marriage. I know I'm not the only one that has ever gone through this but it is so hard! If I was alone I could handle this better or realized this when I was younger but when the sisters that grew up at this time it was hard.

I want to take the next step. I'm ready but just have to get over this hurdle. I want HRT, I want to feel more feminine. I want to look more feminine.

Can anyone give me advice on how to talk with my wife? Now that is a stupid questions. I know there is a lot of kind advice here.
So sorry for the going on. I am so glad to be here!!
Thank you
Melanie

Melanie,

Welcome to Susan's.  I am in somewhat the same situation as you.  I am 56 and married.  I have a strong desire to transition - something that is becoming stronger everyday.   Only I didn't realize I was trangender until last December (but should have known much sooner.)   

Anyway I am also trying to deal with how to talk with my wife.  I did come out to her a few weeks ago and told her about some of what I was dealing with.   She took it badly and was very hurt.   We need to revisit the issue, but I hate to reopen her wounds.   But I know that ignoring the issue will only make things worse when we do get aroudndto talking.

If you don't have a therapist go out and find someone who is familiar with gender issues.  My therapist is very good and gives me someone with whom I can be totally honest.  She has really  helped me with dealing with all this and with accepting myself for who I am.

Hugs,

KD

Hi Jessica, Kaydee
Thank you for your support and kind words.
I have a good therapist who knows about transgender issues. My wife does know that I am transgender and have known for 23 years but I only took it at far as going to some support group meetings. I also wear women's underwear all the time and night gowns at night which she has very supportive but it's communicating my real feelings is what is difficult.

I am very lucky she has not objected so far but it's getting this next part out that has got me so depressed and on medication. I just want to get to the next step but afraid of loosing my marriage. About a month ago I was ready to tell my wife and she had to go to the hospital for emergency gallbladder surgery. it was the closest I ever got. Its not her fault her gallbladder messed things up but I was so close and then lost the courage after waiting through her recovery. Just need that courage back.

One day it will come.
Thanks again for the support.
Regards & hugs
Melanie.
PS glad to be here!

Hi Melanie and welcome to Susan's.

Thank you gennee   Great smile