Quote from: FA on April 19, 2014, 03:45:09 PM
(this is not in response to posts but backstage stuff)
I should never talk. Or type. I can't open my mouth or keyboard without unknowingly pissing someone off or hurting one of my friends.
So, going silent now.

Sorry everybody. I was just trying to vent about family issues that came up last night. But I guess I can't even open my mouth or keyboard without pissing everyone off. So forget it. I'll go back to being the shadow admin you never hear from.

I think you are nice and should write more things down.

But, I dunno. The kinds of things you want to talk about? I'm not sure this is a safe space for you. Too many folks with too many triggers all clustered near to gender norms and social expectations. Leads to some bad misunderstandings.

I know where the "life is over after 25" comes from and what it refers to. Not everyone here has that background or is going to take it the right way. Especially when we can't hear the tenor of your voice or see the hurt in your eyes. Lack of body language screws a lot of things up, I'm afraid.

Anyway, I just hope you will look out for yourself, try to keep yourself safe, and talk to people you can trust not to hurt you.

Quote from: Frank on April 19, 2014, 11:54:24 PM
I think you don't mean to hurt people, but you basically say things like "Why would you enjoy being a woman over thirty?" and other blunt things like it's set in stone. It's bound to hurt a lot of people. I mean, why would YOU want to be a man at any age? Because you are. Same with the ladies.

My wife constantly says "Who in their right mind wants to be a 56 y/o woman?". THis is followed by a fairly good and long list of reasons who women are marginalized in society, especially once the bloom is off the rose, usually by late 20's.  In her case it is offered as reality therapy to me. I think the same applies for FA. Just the way it is in today's world and needs to be considered. Yes there are exceptions.

Quote from: FA on April 20, 2014, 11:19:15 AM
It just means the world is set up to favor women within a very fleeting, narrow age bracket. And it ends up making age an issue for women.

I know what you're saying - that whatever goodies are heaped upon women tend to happen during their sexy, childbearing years, and once those are over, women are no longer considered having the kind of power they did in their younger years.

Can I offer a counterpoint?

I know hundreds of women. Some are young and sexy. Some are middle-aged. Some are elderly. There's a lot of variety and variation, so I'm not trying to make a blanket statement. But the following seems to hold true among the women I know:

The older they are, the more likely they are to be content with their lot in life.

Younger women are more likely to be insecure, are more likely to have been given messages that they need to be "protected", less likely to have been given messages that they are powerful and can succeed on their own, and more likely to worry that their place in the world hinges on something as flimsy as looks, which could be gone in an instant. Women that age feel under oppressive scrutiny and often feel like if they don't look perfect, they won't measure up. There's a lot of cattiness at that age - younger women are far more likely in my experience, to be in competition with each other.

The older a woman gets, the more likely she is to realize her own internal power and the power of being part of the sisterhood. The more likely she is to have become someone's mother, or aunt, or to have a job where people depend on her. The more likely it is that she has learned she can be independent. The more that the women around her have also found confidence and personal power and don't feel the need to tear each other down. And the more likely it is that she has been able to let go of the crushing pressure to look good.

Yes, I'd rather be young and beautiful. But I am quite certain I wouldn't be happier in that role.

Does any of that make sense?

OK, I need to rant. 

Things that don't matter to me: Being young, pretty, desirable, fertile, skinny, measuring up, being a good f&^%, society, or whatever anyone thinks of me.

Things that matter to me: Being me, being alive and my family and friends that stuck around.

I'm just me.  I'm not young, pretty, skinny, f*&^able, or whatever.  I don't give a flying s*&^ about what society thinks of me or how I am valued.  I'm still here, I'm late to the party and I still want whatever time I had left to f*&^ing enjoy it.

Big picture, folks.  Be true to you, no matter what.  It's how you value yourself.  F*&^ how society perceives you.  It sucks anyway.

Jill out.

*chucks mic on groud*

Quote from: Jill F on April 20, 2014, 05:07:42 PM
OK, I need to rant. 

Things that don't matter to me: Being young, pretty, desirable, fertile, skinny, measuring up, being a good f&^%, society, or whatever anyone thinks of me.

Things that matter to me: Being me, being alive and my family and friends that stuck around.

I'm just me.  I'm not young, pretty, skinny, f*&^able, or whatever.  I don't give a flying s*&^ about what society thinks of me or how I am valued.  I'm still here, I'm late to the party and I still want whatever time I had left to f*&^ing enjoy it.

Big picture, folks.  Be true to you, no matter what.  It's how you value yourself.  F*&^ how society perceives you.  It sucks anyway.

Jill out.

*chucks mic on groud*

Thank's Jill, I was struggling how to answer this post then you said exactly what I wanted to say in much less words. For I feel exactly as you do with only one exception, I do care what my new family here on Susan's thinks of me.

Ally