I posted this under the Beauty section about a week or so ago but it got no answers. Apologies for the double post but I thought I'd move it here because I'd really, really appreciate some feedback...

For those ladies who are wig wearers, or know others who are, I'd like to ask a few wriggly wig questions... I'm, uh, asking for a friend (not really, asking for me )

Exercise: wow, do I sweat when I exercise or what. I'm mostly into yoga and tennis. I was thinking of getting an exercise wig, one that I can swap for exercise time that can get utterly sodden and then swapped back again and washed that evening. Does that sound like a reasonable approach?

Swimming: not really a big swimmer but I really would like some thoughts about this. Swimming cap? It would look a bit dopey for a casual dip I'd imagine and I'm not really a lap swimmer anyway. I suppose wearing a wig in the pool or sea would be totally out of the question though.

"Real" hair cuts: so I still need to get my real hair cut to stop it poking out from underneath at the back and sides. At the moment I'll dress like a dude and pop over to the barber shop and get a quick short back and sides. At some point that probably won't be possible due to [boobs] but due to [the bald patch at the back] I wouldn't feel to comfortable going over to a hair salon. Thoughts? Suggestions?

At home: although I'm getting used to wearing the wig all day I can't wait to get it off the second I arrive home. I don't live with anyone so I feel OK about it since I don't have any "pretence" to keep up. Problem is, as soon as I do take it off I feel I don't look like me anymore. I even stop using "the voice". I wouldn't say I feel dysphoric but it sure jolts me out of myself. :/  Anyone else find this too? Coping mechanisms? For those that live with others (family, friends, lovers) do you keep it on in front of them too?

Amorous activities: I'm not in a relationship at the moment and don't intend on seeking one at least until I get my beard zapped and/or my GRS, but given that getting down to business usually involves a fair bit of hair play and/or unintentional hair tugging I doubt a wig would stay on straight, or at all, for very long. Better to take it off first? Wouldn't that spoil the "mood"/"sexy"?

Wig emergency: it's the "height" of slapstick comedy, the pompous lady loses her wig in some ensuing chaos, everyone gets to have a good laugh at the fact she's totally bald. For me that would be the ultimate humiliation. Obviously I can't carry a spare around with me everywhere but I am considering having a spare at work, but even that wouldn't be foolproof - especially if loss/damage/bird poop happened when I wasn't at work but on public transport or something. Strategies? Ideas?

Thanks!

Just shave your hair all off, If your hairline recession is unsalvageable.

And that way you'll avoid trans discrimination because people will think you're a woman with cancer/be super respectful to you.

I did that for so long in guy mode that it wouldn't work for me. Although my features are fortunately fairly feminine I doubt I would pass well without hair. I've seen women with bald heads (cancer patient or not) and it looks fine on them but it isn't a look for me. I like wearing the wig, it makes me feel good about myself - I just need some practical coping tips. Thanks anyway.

Grace I have limited experience but I was told the best two ways to secure a wig are either using Bobbi pins through the mesh under layer of the wig directly to your own hair or a wig cap or using double sided dancers tape.  I have no ideas for swimming and such but that is supposed to keep it on during other activities.  I hope that helps and I will be checking back for any other suggestions.

I use wig tape and that seems to help it stay put. Ouchie if the tape gets into your hairline and you try to remove the wig!! They make a removal fluid that releases the tape if that happens. I've had a wig taped to my hair before and I didn't realize it and I actually ripped out some hair in the front when I whipped off the wig Some better wigs have combs attached to the wig cap that you dig into your existing hair.

As far as your other questions -  I have basically the same ones. Washing a wig every night seems impractical because in my experience it might not be dry the next morning. Workout wig? I have several wigs and it seems like when one gets worn that one would become my workout wig. Swimming? I'm not a swimmer so I can't help you there. "Real" haircut? The only thing I can think of is to strike up a close relationship with your hairdresser that will allow you to tell her what you need. Amorous activities? Ugh. That brings up all kinds of embarrassing scenarios, doesn't it? Maybe if you have an understanding partner that will help.

Quote from: Ms Grace on April 20, 2014, 07:21:16 AM
Wouldn't that spoil the "mood"/"sexy"?

The removal of clothing, glasses, etc. is very erotic, especially as it promises fun times ahead. The removal of a wig can be equally erotic.

Quote from: Ms Grace on April 20, 2014, 07:21:16 AM
"Real" hair cuts: so I still need to get my real hair cut to stop it poking out from underneath at the back and sides.

I have a big bushy head of hair - so long now that I can pass by letting it cascade down the sides and back of a cap or hat.

I pin it up with bobby pins before I put my wig on and it stays pretty well behaved underneath.

Quote from: Ms Grace on April 20, 2014, 07:21:16 AMProblem is, as soon as I do take it off I feel I don't look like me anymore. I even stop using "the voice". I wouldn't say I feel dysphoric but it sure jolts me out of myself. :/  Anyone else find this too? Coping mechanisms? For those that live with others (family, friends, lovers) do you keep it on in front of them too?

I have this issue big time. I see my wigless self in the mirror and I'm convinced anew that all I'll ever be is an oafish guy (whereas I look pretty good in the wig).

I've been working on this - trying to see my feminine beauty without my wig. It's sort of working.

I do not wear my wig around my daughter. I brush my hair down, so it looks OK (except for the massively thin areas on top). She knows what my hair looks like, so I can't imagine it's any kind of shock to her.

Quote from: Ms Grace on April 20, 2014, 07:21:16 AMWig emergency:

As far as wig blowing off or being pulled off, I've resigned myself to the fact that sometimes it will happen. My plan is that I will be unembarrassed. There is nothing shameful about balding (for female or male bodied people), about wearing a wig, or about being Transgender. I have decided that if my wig comes off in public I will show them that the face of Trangender is proud and poised.

As far as a backup, I did keep my old wig, which will do in a pinch. I also can let my hair down and wear a hat. That's much less flattering and I don't pass nearly as well, but I've been doing it more lately with all the windy days we have, and it's not as bad as I thought.

Good luck Grace. I hope this helps.

Quote from: Ms Grace on April 20, 2014, 07:42:08 AM
I did that for so long in guy mode that it wouldn't work for me. Although my features are fortunately fairly feminine I doubt I would pass well without hair. I've seen women with bald heads (cancer patient or not) and it looks fine on them but it isn't a look for me. I like wearing the wig, it makes me feel good about myself - I just need some practical coping tips. Thanks anyway.

I think Terracotta meant keep it shaved underneath the wig. There are lots of women that live wigged lives as well, due to numerous medical conditions, so it may help the dysphoria (you mentioned it wasn't bad but just in case) if you removed the wig and didn't have MPB underneath, because you'd just be a woman without hair. It'd also help whilst swimming/etc, because removal of the wig would be seen by others as 'Oh, I wonder why she doesn't have hair' /concern instead of instantly clocking you.

Very interesting thread. I have never been afraid of balding before since I simply hated the way I looked in mirror anyway. My thought was to just shave it all off, after all my wife at the time thought bald men were sexy.

However things have changed. So I will share that as an x-ray tech I do know lots of women with wigs and hair loss both as employees and patients who happened to know me personally from outside the hospital. Lots and lots of older women have some degree of hair loss. They compensate with different hair styles that poof up the hair or wear a fringe or a full wig. Of the younger women I have known that still wear wigs they do it because it is easier than dealing with their own hair everyday. And as a bonus they can swap hair styles quickly. From what I understand from them they keep the wig on for um amorous activities. The partner in such interludes seems to not mind at all. A lot of this came up when I was in x-ray school and one of my fellow students would often switch from a short hair cut to a long hair cut overnight. She was asked about it and she told us everything and we still loved her for it. I still work with her today even though I don't do x-rays for the hospital anymore. If anything as she says her husband digs the changes.

As for work outs I don't know. My friend works out at home and doesn't swim. She does dance though and she does swap out wigs as they age letting them become the very informal wig.

I don't have anything really constructive to add, but I just pictured you supergluing the wig to your head. That would work.