Well, as all things in life must end, it seems my time as a temp has expired.   Last night was officially my last day of employment, and I'm back to square one about how to fund my transition and provide for myself as an adult.  Although I'm really scared about not being to find anything and it's very bitter sweet, things did end on a good note.  I was filling in for someone while they were out, which is why I was allowed to temp for a second time at this place, but they are to be returning at the beginning of the week.  Even so, I do know that there are people there that want to keep me and things are in the process of being fought in order to bring me back in permanently and per diem in the short term.  Essentially, my place of business has to show a substantial revenue increase for the duration of about a quarter of a year before they are given approval to fill a position, one that previously existed prior to a hiring freeze and is needed after an expansion.  The good news is the revenue has gone up and many people are on my side who believe things will work out in time.  The bad news is it's up to the people in powerful positions and money is the overall bottom line.  That leaves me feeling very cautious; although, I could be hired again within the next 2 or so months, I'm subject to an uncertain waiting game. 

The bad news, well, I need money.  I'm broke.  I have nothing to my name.  If my mother didn't allow me to live at my home, and that is something that once was in jepardy, it would be all over for me.  I'd have to live in my car and hope for the best.  And even then, car insurance is not cheap here.  Sure, I will be looking around and not just hoping for one opportunity, it's just that I've had no luck in the economy at all.  Maybe it's just me or it could be the the economy itself, but I suspect it's a mixture of both given how hard I've tried to get anything.   I'm so scared right now.  I'm getting closer and closer to the point that I will have to one day be full time, but I'm further away from financial stability (and we all already know how I am doing emotionally).  It's just another hardship at a time when I really could use less.  In any case, I'll be on the hunt again for work, searching for whatever is available and begging those who may know of something open, while in the meantime I will be praying I'll get my old job back .  It's not luxurious in any sense, but it is an okay salary for me at this point in time, offers a friendly work environment at a time where that is neccessary, and it will allow me to invest in myself financially while I prepare to one day go to grad school (hell, I hope to work full time and get my masters anyways).

In any case, I don't leave feeling bad.  In fact, everyone was incredibly sweet on my last day.  They gave me a very nice card with a substantial sum of money in it, which honestly brought me on the verge of tears, and I couldn't have ever have asked for such kindness.  Besides that, I have people telling me that they will be fighting my case for me and making sure that I'll be back soon.  Some may just say that or be overly positive about the situation, but I do know a few people I can really trust on that, including one of the doctors who really believes in me.  It was just really sweet to know that there are people that don't hate me or think of me as a disgusting/useless freak.  That some people do think good things about me and actually want me around.   By the time the day ended, I actually started to cry.  I only did that in front of one coworker and felt embarrassed, but it's such a tense thing for me given the unstabilty in my life.  All the things I will now have to worry about (how do I pay for this, where can I find work, will my coworkers be able to accept "me" and everything going on, etc).  Still life goes on and you never know where you will land.  Maybe I'll be back and have a job again or maybe I'll finally find something else in a place that is equally accepting (hopefully with better pay, lol).  We'll see.  I'm very fragile at the moment, but I'm not going to give up just yet even though I feel like doing just that a lot of the times. 

Sorry for venting and/or sharing here.  I just needed a place to leave my thoughts and you guys have been like a family to me here, so sorry with all this oversharing of things most probably couldn't care about, lol.  But I guess that's what I do here.

Quote from: kate on April 19, 2014, 06:10:35 AM
I was in a similar position at the end of last year. I interviewed for a intern position at a charity, and i went for it because in the interview she mentioned that this was likely to turn into a new position in the fundraising department. I had just started HRT at this point. 6 months down the line i decided to leave. It was becoming apparent that this wasn't going to convert into an actual job and quite frankly me working there for nothing, albeit for a few days each week for nothing more than expenses was ridiculous. The reasoning the Head of Fundraising gave was that she had expected to get more major donors on board during this period (an area i had nothing to do with) and that hadn't come through so there really wasn't the money there to take me on. It was gutting but it happens. They are lovely people, and one of them tried to help me out with friends in different organizations.

I hope you get a new job soon babe x

Sorry to hear you went through that.  It sucks doesn't it?  Still I'm not giving up hope.  I have one of the doctors fighting pretty hard for me and he told me he is going to be very persistent about it.  He is even going to be seeing new patients more frequently in order to raise the revenue.  But you never know.  When a practice is owned by a larger entity who are cutting costs all over, it really depends on how they see it.

And thanks for the well wishes in my job search.  It's not going to be fun hunting for work once again.  eh... why does life have to be so expensive? lol.  If the cost of living were reasonable, things would be so much different. 

I am not sure what kind of work you are qualifies for.  It sounds like something in the medical field.  I have been in that field for over 20 years so if you think I could help with any tips or tricks to get at least an interview just ask and I would be happy to try.  I know how stressful financial hardships are.  They can become an overwhelming struggle.  So please I am more than willing to offer any advice or encouragement that you may need and I am able to give.  Please do not hesitate to ask but I will keep my fingers crossed that none is needed because your prior job calls you on monday telling you to come back to work.

That's a harsh blow. I really hope you can find something again soon, hopefully something you enjoy doing and which is a bit more long term.

Ouch. That sucks. I hope you find something soon.

Actually, a lot is the economy. Everyone has trouble finding paying work right now, and when it comes to starting careers, it feels like our whole generation has been thrown to the wolves. When I got laid off, I found it incredibly frustrating to be out of work for reasons I had no control over, and after awhile got really hard on myself for not being able to find anything else for years. My therapist tells me not to hold that against myself, as it's been that way for a lot of us, and from what I've read, she's right. Anyway, try not to be too hard on yourself.

Good luck.

Quote from: Christinetobe on April 20, 2014, 06:43:34 AM
I am not sure what kind of work you are qualifies for.  It sounds like something in the medical field.  I have been in that field for over 20 years so if you think I could help with any tips or tricks to get at least an interview just ask and I would be happy to try.  I know how stressful financial hardships are.  They can become an overwhelming struggle.  So please I am more than willing to offer any advice or encouragement that you may need and I am able to give.  Please do not hesitate to ask but I will keep my fingers crossed that none is needed because your prior job calls you on monday telling you to come back to work.

Most of my past work involved political work (mostly internships), so I suppose both office environments as well as certain leadership or outreach roles would suit me (my year as a college TA probably helps with these things to).  It's just finding work.  And most campaign work pays terrible rates and they are insanely demanding in their required hours.  I once was idealistic and all about sacrficing myself for others, but I sort of need to be able to afford life and need some sense of stability.  I sort of feel bad about that and want to find other ways to help people and save the world, but right now I have to save myself.

I recently jumped into medical and have been trying to develop more experience in this field.  I'm considering given up my dream to be a polisci professor and going into social work.  Not sure.  So much of my future is uncertain as of now.

Quote from: Ms Grace on April 20, 2014, 07:16:02 AM
That's a harsh blow. I really hope you can find something again soon, hopefully something you enjoy doing and which is a bit more long term.

I'm okay.  Actually, I'm sort of hopeful this will work out.  I'm still being considered for the job and will have it if they prove they raised enough revenue.  Right now, I'm just looking for a short term job that I can have to sustain me during this time and while I go back to school.  Eventually, I will either go into grad school for either political science or social work (maybe pysch) and be able to start a real career one day. 

Quote from: JenSquid on April 20, 2014, 10:15:18 AM
Ouch. That sucks. I hope you find something soon.

Actually, a lot is the economy. Everyone has trouble finding paying work right now, and when it comes to starting careers, it feels like our whole generation has been thrown to the wolves. When I got laid off, I found it incredibly frustrating to be out of work for reasons I had no control over, and after awhile got really hard on myself for not being able to find anything else for years. My therapist tells me not to hold that against myself, as it's been that way for a lot of us, and from what I've read, she's right. Anyway, try not to be too hard on yourself.

Good luck.

Yeah, I hate how people call our generation lazy when they don't even know how hard some of us work and try to make something of ourselves.  WE weren't the ones to deregulate the entire economic system and spend out of control to create insane levels of debt.  That's not our fault, yet we live with the consequences and hear from our elders about how lazy we are for struggling in a recession economy when it's a totally different economy today.  I wish more people understood inflation, the cost of living, and the freeze of payroll.  Maybe more people would understand how the American dream was actually being destroyed in many ways and is almost impossible for many kids out there.  And this isn't just an American thing.  Youth unemployment is a problem all across the world. 

I'll glady accept that I've made mistakes and that I am at fault to some degree for struggling, but honestly it's much harder than it should be to get even a mediocre job.  And quite frankly, where I live if you get payed less than 10 dollars you can guarantee that you will not find any rent whatsoever and be able to feed yourself if you are independent (unless you use government programs which negates the whole independence factor).  Even less than 15 dollars an hour puts you in troubled water, though it's possible if you live on the edge or have some help from family (like I do, thank god I don't have rent).  Maybe I just need to leave NY.  I don't know.