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How do you feel about going shirtless?

Started by Alex55, April 14, 2014, 11:36:26 PM

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Alex55

So I have been post op for 1 year 7 months.  My chest looks really good and I have pretty good definition since I have been working out.  My right pec is a bit lagging of definition but its coming along.  I love to take my shirt off, and I have while at the beach on vacation, however, I still feel a bit awkward because of the scarring.  They are fading but it is still pretty obvious.  Does anyone else feel the same, or similar? Sometimes I think people are staring at my chest.  Makes me dysphoric sometimes.

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aleon515

I like to go around the house for sure. I'm not sure. I have taken off my shirt in a small group which was mostly gay guys (they knew I was trans and had seen top surgery results). I was okay but I didn't walk around or anything. I am a little shy about it. I don't really have any pecs to speak of (I am working out and notice a little bit).


--Jay
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Kreuzfidel

I've not been shirtless around anyone but my wife so far - I think it'll probably be a while longer before going shirtless in public.  I can imagine I'll be self-conscious of the scars.  Lucky for me, my scars aren't really "typical FTM top surgery" scars re: Dr. G - so I don't know that people would be able to identify them as such (not that I seriously believe that most lay-people are looking up top surgery results online).
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aleon515

Quote from: Kreuzfidel on April 15, 2014, 02:04:28 AM
I've not been shirtless around anyone but my wife so far - I think it'll probably be a while longer before going shirtless in public.  I can imagine I'll be self-conscious of the scars.  Lucky for me, my scars aren't really "typical FTM top surgery" scars re: Dr. G - so I don't know that people would be able to identify them as such (not that I seriously believe that most lay-people are looking up top surgery results online).

Yes I really don't agree with this theory that Dr G's are someone more identifiable than other surgeon's, but you had some surgeon in Australia, I think, with a very different technique. Still obvious scars are certainly going to be seen as *something*. I think anybody watching youtube videos on top surgery are in somewhat of a different category than the typical population. Really I know so many people who have walked around with no comments whatsoever, it really is more likely than not. Still I know a lot of us are quite conscious of it. I think really post-surgery it's understandable.


--Jay



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Al James

It isn't my chest scars that put me off walking round shirtless cos they've healed really well and are mostly covered by hair anyway. I think my inhibitions are from years of being told that 'girls' couldn't walk around topless- I have this inner voice that sounds scarily like my mother telling me to cover up!!
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aleon515

I'm maybe a little more self-conscious about not having pecs. I know what you're talking about Al. Early conditioning is very powerful, even if you are well passed that period. I went around without a shirt for a long time, until mom decided it wasn't appropriate.


--Jay
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Elijah3291

I have only been shirtless in public twice.

Both of them really recently, the first was when I was at a water hole, there were tons of people and the water was freezing, i wanted to prove that I could swim in the water.  My dad did it first, and then I took off my shirt and handed it to him, walked into the water and then came right back out, like I said COLD everyone was looking at me, and my dad, because hardly anyone was actually getting in the water. No one said anything.

The second time was yesterday, I was hiking and got kinda hot so I took off my shirt for a few minutes.

I DON'T feel uncomfortable shirtless in the sense of.. omg I used to have boobs, this is wrong, this is nakedness, this is obsene, I feel fine about it.

I too am nervous about people saying something about my scars, but honestly the main thing holding me back from being shirtless in public are my hips.  I don't know if I am just over thinking it, but I just look down and I can see where my waist is much thinner and then my hips flare out and it just makes me feel so gross. I think i am more dysphoric about my hips then my genitals. (MAYBE)
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aleon515

It is strange, I think, but the cultural standards on female bodied people and breasts are just odd. It seems it is culturally okay to go *nearly* top less, but if they take off their top, well that's not. Also followed into getting top surgery. Before surgery, the male doctor was "supervised" by a nurse. Actually she was very good at being unseen, because I felt more awkward about her than him. AFTER surgery all this changes and the doctor is no longer supervised. My gender identity did not change, only having or not having breasts changed.

--Jay
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Alex55

Thanks for the input guys.  I don't feel weird about taking my shirt off in public, again its the scars.  I don't have hair on my chest, I am not real hairy anyway, but once I can get past the "I think they are looking at my scars" part I feel ok about it. IF someone has the nerve to ask about them I will just tell them that I had some tumors removed, and leave it at that.

Alex
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aleon515

Funny thing. I read a FB page called "the Good Men Project" (very good site with stuff on raising kids, male stereotyped behavior, etc). It's very LGBT friendly. Anyway there was an article about men and emotions or something and the article was not at all about trans men. But for the picture there was a trans man post surgery. The comments were all on the article and info. And no one identified the guy as trans or said anything.

--Jay
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Northern Jane

I envy you guys! I HATE clothes and would LOVE to be topless in the summer! I haven't been able to go topless since I was 12 and now my 44DD would get me arrested - DAMND DOUBLE STANDARD!

Take prde in youselves and tell the rest of the world to get stuffed!
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blink

I never planned to go shirtless in public. Maybe it'll be different in the future, but aside from personal reasons against it, it just doesn't appeal to me.
Being able to be shirtless in my room is awesome, though. Should make sleeping easier in summer, too.
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Alexthecat

I went swimming at 6 weeks I think. There was a bunch of older guys there and they didn't say a word. I think most people have the decency to not open their mouths.

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Kyler

While I haven't had top surgery yet, I simply can't imagine going topless, except at home, due to other body issues.
But I sure can't wait to only have one shirt on in the pool, etc!
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JamesG

Chicks dig scars.  No, few people would be able to recognize the procedure and even fewer would care.  I wouldn't worry about it considering the number of cis males who go fearlessly topless with their moobs.  :-\
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King Malachite

I think whenever I do get top surgery, I will be concerned about someone "spotting" my scars (that combined with me not being on T....yeah....not a good thing for me), but to be honest, I probably won't walk around shirtless in public most of the time due to being self-conscious of being morbidly obese.  I think more people will likely notice that before my scars.  Perhaps I'll walk shirtless once or twice at a beach or pool, but that's just about it.  I will go shirtless in my own home one day though.
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"Sometimes you have to go through outer hell to get to inner heaven."

"Anomalies can make the best revolutionaries."
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ReubenIsTheName

I haven't had my top surgery yet, though I'm planning on it after I start my T (which will hopefully be in a little over a year from now), and I think it'll be kind of awkward going shirtless in public (beach, pool, etc.), but I plan on using lotion and vitamin E oil to try and fade the scars beyond what they will be naturally. (I have a large scar on my knee where it was torn open once, which I used E oil on, and is now barely visible unless you're looking for it.) Also, it'll be awkward just for the fact that I'm so used to not being shirtless except for bathing and such, because boobs :P , so it will be an adjustment, but all GRS is definitely an adjustment. So, yes, eventually, I do see myself being comfortable enough to go shirtless.

"After Jesus and rock and roll, couldn't save my immoral soul, well, I've got nothing left, I've got nothing left to lose." 'Nothing Left to Lose' - The Pretty Reckless

Call me Reuben Damian/Toby
Preferred pronouns - He, His, Him | Orientation - "Straight" | Future surgeries - Mastectomy, Hysto, Vaginectomy, & hopefully Phallo.
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Bimmer Guy

Quote from: aleon515 on April 15, 2014, 11:50:01 AM
Yes I really don't agree with this theory that Dr G's are someone more identifiable than other surgeon's, but you had some surgeon in Australia, I think, with a very different technique.


--Jay

I think Kreuzfidel was using Garramone's name in place of saying double incision.  I think he was referencing technique and just grabbed Garramone's name as a reference.  Not that Kreuzfidel can't speak for himself!

I personally think it is true that eventually more cis people will come to know what type of scars these are. 

I don't know what other's think, but it seems to me that more trans* masculine identified folks are getting this surgery than in the past, so there are more guys with these scars out there!

1) FTMs are transitioning younger (late teens/early 20's) and parents are paying for the surgery.

2) If their parents didn't pay for their surgery, but they are on T, they are starting their careers right out of college with a name change and with cis privlege.  Prior to HRT being so avaiable, FTMs presented as masculine females who were assumed to be lesbian.  Masculine females make less money than straight men, gay men, and feminine presenting woman.  Therefore, it took the later transitioning FTM longer to be able to afford surgery, or was never able to afford it.

So, we are transitioning younger, and the younger we transition, the more chance our parents will pay for surgery or at least the better chance we have at making good money and being able to afford the surgery ourselves.

Side note, certainly FTMs who do not go to college have a similar experience (making more money due to cis privilege), but they don't have the *pause* in their adult years to transition, prior to getting a job.  Subequently, their job history includes having a job as a female and that can make things a bit murkier.  College kids don't have to explain why they have no work history prior to age 22.

Just a theory/prediction.

P.S. When top surgery becomes paid for by most/all insurance companies, the number of top surgeries will go up even more.
Top Surgery: 10/10/13 (Garramone)
Testosterone: 9/9/14
Hysto: 10/1/15
Stage 1 Meta: 3/2/16 (including UL, Vaginectomy, Scrotoplasty), (Crane, CA)
Stage 2 Meta: 11/11/16 Testicular implants, phallus and scrotum repositioning, v-nectomy revision.  Additional: Lipo on sides of chest. (Crane, TX)
Fistula Repair 12/21/17 (UPenn Hospital,unsuccessful)
Fistula Repair 6/7/18 (Nikolavsky, successful)
Revision: 1/11/19 Replacement of eroded testicle,  mons resection, cosmetic work on scrotum (Crane, TX)



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JamesG

Of course as transgendered people become more accepted/common "cis privilege" will probably dissipate too. Hopefully.
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Bimmer Guy

Quote from: JamesG on April 26, 2014, 07:21:08 AM
Of course as transgendered people become more accepted/common "cis privilege" will probably dissipate too. Hopefully.

You mean the same way male privilege has dissipated?  Or white privilege?  Or heterosexual privilege?  ;)
Top Surgery: 10/10/13 (Garramone)
Testosterone: 9/9/14
Hysto: 10/1/15
Stage 1 Meta: 3/2/16 (including UL, Vaginectomy, Scrotoplasty), (Crane, CA)
Stage 2 Meta: 11/11/16 Testicular implants, phallus and scrotum repositioning, v-nectomy revision.  Additional: Lipo on sides of chest. (Crane, TX)
Fistula Repair 12/21/17 (UPenn Hospital,unsuccessful)
Fistula Repair 6/7/18 (Nikolavsky, successful)
Revision: 1/11/19 Replacement of eroded testicle,  mons resection, cosmetic work on scrotum (Crane, TX)



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