Oh, where to begin... I'm Nikova, Kova for short. I'm at a point in my life where I'm just tired of "pretending to be a guy." I had a choice a few months back - you know that choice that makes you a statistic. I came to the conclusion that if I was going to take that route, I might as well start fresh and do things the way I thought they should have been done.
I don't want to go into the backstory of my life but I grew up in rural western Iowa and lets just say I'm not very brave. The farthest I've gone before was growing my hair out at 14 and dressing androgynously until I was 24. Thats when I cut my hair, moved to Ohio and did the whole professional job thing (and still am.) I know its an excuse but it was so hard to make it past the first interview with my appearance, how "weird" I acted and I had no one to support me. I'm still nervous about the my job but I'll cross that bridge later.
In any case I'm back at this doorway and I'm pretty scared. But if I'm going to be stressed out as a guy looking through the mirror, then there's no reason I can't be stressed out as a girl looking back from the other side!
I don't have a support network (or even very many real friends for that matter) and I know that's one of the things that kept me from pursuing this since high school. That's one of the reasons I'm here. Because I don't have the tennis-balls to cut mine off without some hand holding.
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kova v
