I started thinking about Easter and the possibility of my cousins using the wrong name (they are the only ones who still do but I cut them slack because they are kids) and I got pretty irrationally angry. Busted my foot in the shower because I wasn't paying attention. Much cursing ensued.

Makes me really mad I was ever female.

Quote from: big kim on April 20, 2014, 10:41:19 AM
I'm OK thanks Shantel I'll be rid of them tomorrow

You going to kill them? 

No it would only mess up the hotel

Quote from: Natalia on April 20, 2014, 10:35:33 AM
It is Easter...

but no holiday feels the same anymore without my mom around

Hey Natalia,

(hugs).  While I realize this is a really hard thing for you and something I could never even imagine going through, I do hope you have the greatest hoiliday that you can have given the circumstances.  Feel better. 

Quote from: learningtolive on April 20, 2014, 02:05:26 PM

Hey Natalia,

(hugs).  While I realize this is a really hard thing for you and something I could never even imagine going through, I do hope you have the greatest hoiliday that you can have given the circumstances.  Feel better.

Very sweet, and I'll second that to Natalia!

My favorite part of the holidays is all the questions you get from relatives for things they already have the answers to.  Usually it's a way of judging you in a way that sounds more pc than saying "what a loser".   Like yeah, I know I suck and other people's lives are better thanks for pointing it out.  The job one was really hard given everything that's been going on.  It's like thanks for making my holiday feel like an interrogation.  And when you overhear people talking about you making judgemental comments behind your back, it's like screw you. 

I can't help bur feeling disgusting. Why? The moving

A week after it started, it turned into a race against the clock to vacate and fo small fixes to my rental place. The consequences:

- I can't wear female clothing or whatever, since all the day I am doing physical work that des not allow any movement restrictions. Heck, I need to untuck before starting.
- Most of my clothes are now packed or in the new apartment (which won't be usable until the mattress arrives. We found brown stains on the old one)
- No push up bras, and not even make-up. Everything gets wasted with the activity. Won't even mention the nail polish stuff.


So, every day I am dressed andro in jeans, sports bra and whatever t-shirt is clean. I haven't groomed for a long time: Hairy legs, eyebrows messed to the maximum level, Horrible nails, and I don't even hide whatever rests of beard still linger. Apart from daily showering, shaving and clean underwear, I don't do anything else. I don't fix my hair properly, won't exercise, watch my weight or whatever. But the things that most triggers my anxiety is the inavility to find time to study for the exam.

So here I am, last day of holidays that I can get my father to help me move the heavy stuff that requires a car. I need to spend the whole day moving the biggest pieces of furniture, and in the moment the mattress is instaled, move the last stuff that moves with me. Computer, Desk, and chair.

I only want to end all of this, give back the keys for the old crappy place, lock myself at the new apartment, take a bath, get my eyebrows done, shave every hair in my body, get my new ID and get a new gym suscription.



Well, time to hit the shower... I need to move the bicycle, and since there are no bike lane connections between the two cities, I need to transport it in the metro, which is a direct ticket for angry idiots accusing me of taking too much space in a day where transport frequencies are cut by 50%


PS: I need to mention that easter in spain can be one of the worst holidays of the year, since everything is closed for several consecutive days: From thursday to monday, only in saturday shops open. I can't buy the lightbulbs I need, take measurements at IKEA, or even buy food. The saturday I was nervous enough hoping I wasn't forgetting anything at the market.
Oh, and obviously, I'm not meeting for any family stuff since my parents decided to cut me away from the rest of the family and keep me hidden (Not that I care a lot). They are even limiting my access to the old place, and I need to enter there and get the rest of my stuff, specially the expensive audio furniture.

I yelled at my son last night for leaving the front door hanging open and letting a bumble bee get in. I was upset because whenever there is a bug or a bat that needs to be caught in the house it falls on me.

My mother bought me a gravestone. With the wrong name on it. While I sometimes wonder why I don't let death in to have its way, that gravestone will need to find a different body to honor, cause it won't be mine. She told someone else that If I want the name changed, I have to do it myself. That someone else is how I first heard of the dumb thing.

It's getting harder to ignore her. She's banging at the door with a sledgehammer wanting to use the bathroom and it's occupied!
I still have a lot to do which takes time. Ruddy facial hairs still stubbornly persisting.

Quote from: Jenny07 on April 21, 2014, 06:19:57 AM
It's getting harder to ignore her. She's banging at the door with a sledgehammer wanting to use the bathroom and it's occupied!
I still have a lot to do which takes time. Ruddy facial hairs still stubbornly persisting.

I know what you mean, hon. One of the reasons I wasn't considering going full time until later in the year was trying to deal with the beard...not easy once you have to present as female everyday at work. Fortunately work was flexible enough to allow me a means to work around it. Still have at least six months/75 hours to go of face zapping though. blah.

Are you effin' kidding me? Two trips and I still haven't been able to move everything. Also, half of my nails were either broken or close to breaking after a week of manual labor, so I had to pick the dreader nail clipper. I will leave the nail file for after dinner...

And that's everything for now. Tomorrow they bring the new washing machine, and as soon as I can get a mattress, I can finally move. Worst part is that now there is no TV, console, books... Not that I want to anything that is not going to bed...

Quote from: LordKAT on April 21, 2014, 05:40:50 AM
My mother bought me a gravestone. With the wrong name on it. While I sometimes wonder why I don't let death in to have its way, that gravestone will need to find a different body to honor, cause it won't be mine. She told someone else that If I want the name changed, I have to do it myself. That someone else is how I first heard of the dumb thing.

How bizarre is that? You're not planning to check out anytime soon are you?

Quote from: LordKAT on April 21, 2014, 05:40:50 AM
My mother bought me a gravestone. With the wrong name on it. While I sometimes wonder why I don't let death in to have its way, that gravestone will need to find a different body to honor, cause it won't be mine. She told someone else that If I want the name changed, I have to do it myself. That someone else is how I first heard of the dumb thing.

Wow. Just. Wow.  That's effed up on so many levels that I don't even know where to begin.  I don't think I'd handle that well to say the least.  I probably would have changed the name to hers, added 2014 as her expiration date and sent it back.

Big hugs, and so sorry that happened to you.
Jill

Quote from: LordKAT on April 21, 2014, 05:40:50 AM
My mother bought me a gravestone. With the wrong name on it. While I sometimes wonder why I don't let death in to have its way, that gravestone will need to find a different body to honor, cause it won't be mine. She told someone else that If I want the name changed, I have to do it myself. That someone else is how I first heard of the dumb thing.

Oh wow that is just really messed up. So sorry you're having to deal with that buddy.

Quote from: LordKAT on April 21, 2014, 05:40:50 AM
My mother bought me a gravestone. With the wrong name on it. While I sometimes wonder why I don't let death in to have its way, that gravestone will need to find a different body to honor, cause it won't be mine. She told someone else that If I want the name changed, I have to do it myself. That someone else is how I first heard of the dumb thing.

That is so morbid and twisted. :| I have to say, I like Jill's suggestion LOL.

Quote from: LordKAT on April 21, 2014, 05:40:50 AM
My mother bought me a gravestone. With the wrong name on it. While I sometimes wonder why I don't let death in to have its way, that gravestone will need to find a different body to honor, cause it won't be mine. She told someone else that If I want the name changed, I have to do it myself. That someone else is how I first heard of the dumb thing.

I read that this morning and had to calm down a bit before posting

My folks have done some pretty messed up things, but that is so messed up and I'd be so P.O.ed if my folks did that... Arrrrrgh!!!

*Hugs LordKat*

My body feels like it's like 90, all the aches, pains, and god the stress. That's the killer there. The worst part is there's little I can do about the stress.

Quote from: Lauren5 on April 21, 2014, 05:45:30 PM
My body feels like it's like 90, all the aches, pains, and god the stress. That's the killer there. The worst part is there's little I can do about the stress.

I dunno, you're pretty young yet, do you think you're going to make it?

I can not believe how bad my back is today. I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to go to work tomorrow.

Quote from: Gwynne on April 13, 2014, 11:56:30 PM
If that ever happens again, a better solution is to remap your r key to a different key on the keyboard. The tilde (~) is a good choice as it's rarely used.

I eventually did this. I don't know why it took me so long