This is more an observation and a complement than any thing else, but it is something I'd like to share. As I am somewhat new here, I would like to know your thoughts about this... I don't think we give ourselves enough credit as to what it take to transition. While yes we are are frighted of the outcome and how we look etc. it takes a massive amount of courage and self confidence to even consider transition. These are attributes that a lot of cis people don't have, or wouldn't even consider. In my journey I am starting to find that self confidence and to me it feels fantastic. Knowing every day I am becoming who I really am is great feeling and as I progress I am becoming a stronger and happier person in the process. So take the time to look where you were and where you are going, because there are a lot of people out there that can't do what we are doing and tell yourself your a better person because of it every day.

Yeap

Im currently stuck in the middle of transition, 4 months on hormones andro stage XD

It takes amazing courage and inner will to get through this,
they dont call it GID for nothing, dysphoria is serious sh*t...
its devastating , overwhelming and scary at the same time
and it can give you a lot of unexplainable pain...

After I accepted myself and persued transition  I actually stopped being a puppet , I became myself, I became unique
Im not afraid of other people anymore,Im not afraid to protect myself and those who I love
Im not afraid of the challenges

By leaving behind a false image I also left behind everything fake...
I know who I am and I know what I want even if sometimes things get blurry and difficult

Im a much calmer person now, a bit happier, surely not better
but that was all I needed , a sense of peace in a constant overwhelming state.

And I still have a long way to go

This is a good post.  Honestly, I never give myself any credit because I don't believe I deserve it.  A coworker recently remarked that everyone loves me a thinks really positive things about me, but she said the sad thing is you can't see those qualities yourself.  She's right.  I have a hard time seeing the good in me and my actions.  But regardless of that, I try to do good and fight through the bad in life.

Therefore, while I can be fairly negative about things, I don't discount that I've faced some demons and accomplished some goals that can be considered impressive.  I just don't think of myself as brave our courageous.  I'm just living the best way I know how ad trying to improve myself despite the short comings I have that make it all hard.  The thing is, it's easier to be positive before the challenges hit you square in the face.  When they do it becomes harder, but it's still something we can overcome in the long run. 

Quote from: learningtolive on April 21, 2014, 11:54:33 AM
I just don't think of myself as brave our courageous.

The only thing I would say to something like that is... well, courage isn't reserved for some inspirational figures of history, or people who grab the limelight by doing courageous things. Courage is simply feeling scared as hell, feeling like you can't go on, but somehow finding the inner resolve to do the things that scare you in spite of it. To put one foot in front of the other and keep going, when everything inside you screams you can't do it.

You are ALL the most courageous people I've ever met. Ever. You inspire and motivate others, even if you can't see it. By living your lives in the face of sometimes crippling fears and setbacks, by keeping going, you ALL prove that the courage isn't something you gain - it's something you always have and see only when it's necessary to see it.

I am proud of all of you. Everyone going through the sometimes scary, sometimes painful, often lonely process to become yourselves. Whatever stage you're at. You risk a lot for the greatest reward of all. That is courage. And strength.

Kudos to all of you.

Quote from: learningtolive on April 21, 2014, 11:54:33 AM
The thing is, it's easier to be positive before the challenges hit you square in the face.  When they do it becomes harder, but it's still something we can overcome in the long run.

Challenges are going to be there any way ones goes. That's life. It is how we perceive them that makes us who we are. But in the end, one grows when facing these challenges. That's my take anyway...

Quote from: Veronica M on April 21, 2014, 12:15:47 PM
Challenges are going to be there any way ones goes. That's life. It is how we perceive them that makes us who we are. But in the end, one grows when facing these challenges. That's my take anyway...

I agree.  It's just hard to get into the right perspective when the challenges grow and seem really daunting.  It's not impossible and we can grow from them, but sometimes it's hard to keep up a healthy mentality at times.  I'm trying though and do think there is good that can come from it in the end. 

Quote from: Sephirah on April 21, 2014, 12:02:56 PM
The only thing I would say to something like that is... well, courage isn't reserved for some inspirational figures of history, or people who grab the limelight by doing courageous things. Courage is simply feeling scared as hell, feeling like you can't go on, but somehow finding the inner resolve to do the things that scare you in spite of it. To put one foot in front of the other and keep going, when everything inside you screams you can't do it.

You are ALL the most courageous people I've ever met. Ever. You inspire and motivate others, even if you can't see it. By living your lives in the face of sometimes crippling fears and setbacks, by keeping going, you ALL prove that the courage isn't something you gain - it's something you always have and see only when it's necessary to see it.

I am proud of all of you. Everyone going through the sometimes scary, sometimes painful, often lonely process to become yourselves. Whatever stage you're at. You risk a lot for the greatest reward of all. That is courage. And strength.

Kudos to all of you.

Wow. I just only discovered your writing. Required reading here folks!

I had always admired people who had the courage to transition, especially when the deck was stacked against them.  I have said this for years, long before I could admit to myself that I was truly transgender.

Then it happened to me, and I honestly don't feel all that courageous.  I simply followed the path of least resistance.  Many have told me how I'm the bravest person they have ever met, but all I really did was run out of sh*ts to give about how I was perceived.  I just followed the path that made me happiest and stopped defining myself as what others expected me to be.

I chose to live and thrive.  That's really all it was for me.  Female and happy worked much better for me than male and miserable.  If you're already as good as dead, what do you have to lose by trying to be yourself for a change?

Quote from: learningtolive on April 21, 2014, 12:27:44 PM
I agree.  It's just hard to get into the right perspective when the challenges grow and seem really daunting.  It's not impossible and we can grow from them, but sometimes it's hard to keep up a healthy mentality at times.  I'm trying though and do think there is good that can come from it in the end.

That's all we can do... And yes it is overwhelming at time for sure. There are days I ask myself WTF are you doing. But like Jill said. "Female and happy worked much better for me than male and miserable."  Then I put my big girl panties on a get the whole thing moving again. In essence we are our worst enemy. As to the rest of the world... Well, screw um if they don't like who I am..

Thanks for the thread Veronica,

I'm not sure it was courageous of me to seek an authentic life.  Is it courage when you truly don't feel you had much of a choice?  What is courageous and what is so common here, is the willingness to reach beyond self to listen and to try to help people who feel lonely, different, and afraid, girls who do not have anywhere they feel safe to turn, and to do it for fun and for free.  You have done that for me, and I try to continue to pass the baton.

This is where I go, and where I can go, when I am feeling unsure, and unattractive.  Just by be being here you give me comfort and strength.  I can never repay what has been so freely given except to be true to the spirit of this place.  I don't know how many trans-women would have fallen into the pit if Susan had not started this and if so many others had not committed so much to make this magic work.  Because I think it really is magic.  I cannot explain how truth can be distilled, and wisdom gleaned by the conversation of a few thousand troubled souls.  But it is.

I am so very grateful, proud, and impressed by all of you.  You have been a lifeline for me and some of the friends I have made here have moved beyond cyberspace into real space.  I once described transition as an enormous release of tension and fear while simultaneously being very much like falling in love.  I believe that the love part is rooted in the sense of community both in and out of cyberspace that I have experienced from trans-women and cis-women who are willing to understand and support me and to understand and support you.

Thank You My Sisters,
Julie

Quote from: Veronica M on April 21, 2014, 04:04:29 PM
That's all we can do... And yes it is overwhelming at time for sure. There are days I ask myself WTF are you doing. But like Jill said. "Female and happy worked much better for me than male and miserable."  Then I put my big girl panties on a get the whole thing moving again. In essence we are our worst enemy. As to the rest of the world... Well, screw um if they don't like who I am..

I agree.  It's funny because I said I would never change mentally when transitioning.  I'm finding out that was wrong.  When I started I was scared but totally confident and optimistic about these things.  I came here trying to try and help/support other people while getting help myself.  Even though I still strive to do that to the best of my ability, I'm in a much different place.  Nowadays, I'm much more worried and more realistic about the future.  The realities of what is going on and how it's impacted me are now real.  I'm finally appreciating the struggles and hardships that transitioning can bring in a way I once could understand but never know first hand.  However, it's what I want and need.  I've already accomplished a lot, so I believe I'll get through it.  And even though it seems at times that I've regressed, I have grown and learned a lot in the past year.   

I am immensely proud of my transition. I've solved problems and conquered fears in a way that has really raised my confidence. My opinion of my own competence and abilities has soared.

Credit is due to all of us I reckon. Considering how much can be stacked against us, the emotional, physical, financial, familial and social hurdles that lie along the way making it to each touchstone point is a major achievement.

For me it is a two steps forward, one step back story... Mind you I just started down the path of transition two month ago. There are still many hurdles I am facing, but I am feeling stronger every day. I actually brought this topic up last night at my transgender group. I was amazed at the responses I got from people in my group. So here I am just getting my feet on the ground, and one of the member who is very involved with LGBTQ center ask me to speak about this very topic at the TDOE event on Saturday. As I am still presenting male I was quite shocked and am far from a public speaker. But I may take him up on his offer, because it is a very important thing to remember. Besides that it may be a good and safe event to actually come out and present as female also. Needless to say I was surprised and honored none the less. Who would have thought that in such a short time I would be the one promoting the transgender community... Then again it has become something I am passionate about. (Now the biggest problem is what to wear... LOL)

Wear something simple and pretty.  You'll wow em.
j

Quote from: JulieBlair on April 22, 2014, 08:34:37 AM
Wear something simple and pretty.  You'll wow em.
j

Awwww... Thank you Julie...

The decision to choose life and live is not the courageous decision. The courageous decision is in knowing what the cost will be and still making the decision to go ahead and face the losses and discrimination and the difficulty and the loneliness - THAT decision is what takes courage.

As I climb my own hill all I see is just more hill so I keep plodding up and up. I know that once I reach the summit all of the pain and losses I have suffered will be worth it as I take in the glorious view that will be before me. The promise of that experience is what gives me the courage to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep climbing.

We are tough and brave. We have to be.

Quote from: Veronica M on April 22, 2014, 07:21:29 AM
For me it is a two steps forward, one step back story... Mind you I just started down the path of transition two month ago. There are still many hurdles I am facing, but I am feeling stronger every day. I actually brought this topic up last night at my transgender group. I was amazed at the responses I got from people in my group. So here I am just getting my feet on the ground, and one of the member who is very involved with LGBTQ center ask me to speak about this very topic at the TDOE event on Saturday. As I am still presenting male I was quite shocked and am far from a public speaker. But I may take him up on his offer, because it is a very important thing to remember. Besides that it may be a good and safe event to actually come out and present as female also. Needless to say I was surprised and honored none the less. Who would have thought that in such a short time I would be the one promoting the transgender community... Then again it has become something I am passionate about. (Now the biggest problem is what to wear... LOL)

Good luck on the speech.

It is the scariest thing I have ever done in my life and just opening up to one person at a time has left me shaking each time.

The rewards have been great.

Yes it's courage to finally accept that you became what you were afraid you would become, and became willing to sacrifice so much just to let go.

Facing the fear of coming out to my wife was excruciating.  Hardest moment of my life.  And most freeing, since she stayed.  But I had to be willing to lose her to be honest with her and that hurt.   And telling her that I had never succeeded in overcoming the dysphoria and hid that from her for 25 years.

I never looked at transition this way. I guess what I do now with "comfort" was impossible to me 14 months ago. I wonder how the path will proceed another 14 months? I wonder if those things that pose an impossibility now will be accomplished too? I guess it is like in Dune then he put his hands into the box, after the task he was much stronger.