I do not know what to do. I have no idea. Being here and reading the posts around, I get the feeling I should be doing something more. Something different.

In reality I have no idea what to do. Hair? No clue, but is sure is long enough that I know I need to work on something with it. Getting some female friends? heck, any local friends at all? It sure would be nice but my work seems to have it out for me in terms of availability to do anything social. Being awkward? Well, I got that one down. Clothes? Ha, that is a good one. If I any idea of fashion, that would be something. Even writing this out I have no idea what I should be doing.

On the other side I am comfortable being me socially and don't feel like I have to change anything there...but everything else is lost to me.

Well, the good news is you don't have to do everything at once. And one thing doesn't necessarily come before another thing. If you have an idea of your ultimate goals that would help. You've indicated your gender identity is A, so is transition a thing/not a thing? Where would you like to be in one year? Five years? Answers to those questions might help lay the groundwork for what to do to get there...

Hi L G,
You are doing pretty much exactly what you should be doing.  Questioning, reaching out, and exploring what makes you tick. Grace is pretty much spot on - "you don't have to do everything at once"  You have as much time as you need, there is no rush. Play, with your hair, with fashion, with life itself.  Friends come if you are open to them and are up for some risk.  I think that life is all about taking risks, and when it works good, when it doesn't learn.  A sense of humor helps, as does a sense of the absurd. 
Welcome,
Julie

Take it one step at a time. When I started, i felt so pressured to just do everything at once and badgered myself on why I was different from other trans women or other cis women but the reality of it is, we are all different. Everyone travels a different path but that does not mean its the wrong path, its just different. You will find your path, just set small goals for yourself to achieve. For me, one of my goals was to become more social, so i did things like join a support group, go to social events, and open myself up to family that I rarely talk to. I did this in small chunks and wasnt really social the first or second time that I would go to any of these events. I would just exist. With enough exposure, I opened up and started making friends. For the clothing part, I had to build up the courage to even shop in the female clothing isle. So first, I went with a female relative of mine and just followed her around in the clothing isle. I then built up enough courage to start looking at the items. The person I was with noticed i was getting into it so she decided to sneak away and leave me on my own. When i looked up and noticed that she was at the far end of the store and that no one cared that I was doing what I was doing, I was able to keep that courage from there on in and have never been afraid again to buy women's clothing or any other type of feminine item by myself again. I returned a belt that i bought recently and the clerk asked me "what was wrong with it?", i proudly told her that it didn't fit me and instead of judging me, she said "That sucks, its a pretty belt."

If you want someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.

Geez I am awful at talking about what I am thinking...

As a notice I am on HRT with a low dose, for a bit under 2 months now, taking things slow because they need to be for me. As for the A, it is pretty much a general feeling is all.

I really appreciate the comments, I do. It is just one of those things that is stuck in my mind, like a feeling I should be doing something. Even though I know I don't, or want to jump into everything at once. Just an itch, I guess. Like, when I was figuring myself out I thought I needed to change what liked and questioned what I was doing because reading so many other people talk about things made me think I was fooling myself. Turns out being a nerd of games, music, movies and recently beer just works for me, who would have thought.