This post was inspired by the childhood photos and Facebook threads.  It seems like most people want to go stealth, or have the option to, or at least just keep the past in the past.

Is there anyone (besides me) who is OK with people knowing their Trans*ness and their previous gender presentation?  Why or why not?

I'm probably going to stay out due to the fact that it will make explaining how my son has two biological dads easier. I won't be as out as I am now though.

Where I live it is such a small community I could never go stealth here. Also I was Emergency Services for 28 years so pretty much the rest of the state knows now as well. That is the only draw back of having a very visible career. I will always be trans anyway since I am not cis. It doesn't bother me as long as the people stay respectful and don't cause unnecessary issue's for me.

I'll most likely always stay out and open and welcoming to help educate anyone who's willing to learn. I'm one of those if you don't ask me I won't bring it up usually, types of people. So if and when I pass ect, I'll probably just carry on about my life until the subject comes up.

I'm not objective to talking about it, but I won't ya know go around with a shirt that has bold letters on it stating I'm trans lol. That and I'm with Edge as well. I have two kiddos and they'll both always know, along with their dr for medical reasons ect.

After transitioning I don't think I'd walk around town with a sign saying I'm trans*, but I wouldn't try and hide it from anyone. I've never considered medical records and similar things "private". That probably comes from growing up in a very medically oriented family and also having so many medical issues as a kid. 16 doctors at UCSF standing in line to examine me when I was about 8.

The only reason I'm staying stealth in boy mode as I start transition is I'm not sure how my boss will react yet so I haven't figured out the best way to bring up the topic yet.

I hope I don't offend anyone by saying this, but generally when I hide something, I feel like I'm acting ashamed. Even if rationally I know I'm just concealing it for the sake of convenience or "it's none of their business" (which, really, it's not), it just doesn't feel good to me. Plus, I know what a huge difference meeting actual trans* folks made in my perception of the transition process, and if I can be that for someone else, it's worth catching some extra flak here and there. So yeah, I will likely stay pretty "out".

I'm moderately stealth? I'm only known as gay at work and in general day to day life. No one knows that I am trans except for my close friends and family, and doctors (who need to know)

I don't see any point in telling people, it seems like TMI. I don't want to deal with all of the inevitable questions and possible loss of respect, especially now that I have been promoted and have a bit of authority over my coworkers. I don't want trans to be a part of my label, I just want to be, the guy, Elijah. The gay guy is fine.. but just a guy.

in response to brotherben, I don't feel like I am hiding anything, its just not a "need to know" matter.  I feel like if I were to tell someone at work that I was trans would be almost like telling them to think about me in an inappropriate manner, in my opinion it could be like a guy who somehow lost his penis going around and telling people about it. As far as I am concerned the only female part about me now is whats in my pants, and my history, history is in the past and the other is my own business.

Hope this doesn't sound bad, but for me it depends on whether I get to a point where I'm 100% passable. If nobody can tell, then I'll identify as female. If I am never really passable, then I'd embrace my trans* nature and make it a selling point. It's not that I'm embarrassed to be trans, its more, if I can be the woman I was born as completely, why identify as trans*?.

 

Quote from: Kara Jayde on April 24, 2014, 12:02:37 AM
Hope this doesn't sound bad, but for me it depends on whether I get to a point where I'm 100% passable. If nobody can tell, then I'll identify as female. If I am never really passable, then I'd embrace my trans* nature and make it a selling point. It's not that I'm embarrassed to be trans, its more, if I can be the woman I was born as completely, why identify as trans*?.

exactly, I'm FTM, female to MALE, thats the whole point, I am not female to trans. yes, yes I know I will always be trans and nothing can change that, but I don't have to identify as such if I pass.

No.  I don't tell people now, and I'm don't consider my transition finished. 

Quote from: BrotherBen on April 23, 2014, 11:34:58 PM
I hope I don't offend anyone by saying this, but generally when I hide something, I feel like I'm acting ashamed. Even if rationally I know I'm just concealing it for the sake of convenience or "it's none of their business" (which, really, it's not), it just doesn't feel good to me. Plus, I know what a huge difference meeting actual trans* folks made in my perception of the transition process, and if I can be that for someone else, it's worth catching some extra flak here and there. So yeah, I will likely stay pretty "out".

Not telling people I'm trans is not hiding anything. 

I don't wear a sign but if someone asks me (and it's a safe environment) I would tell them. It's happened once in the past.

I don't feel I'm hiding anything. If folk know, they know, but I don't feel I or my life is defined by my being trans so why bother sharing it? I feel it's more of a, "So?" Or even TMI in that I wouldn't even know how the subject could actually come up. It's not so much hiding because I'm here and even have photos on here. There's people I work with who know and some who don't seeing as I've worked there before in my previous name.  For me it's more,  "Why share?" It doesn't define me and not everyone gets it and could think it makes me less of a man and for that I'd rather they don't know for as long as possible and if they find out by that point it's more likely they'll get it having had no idea for so long! Maybe even be more educational overall.

it depends on the situation and if I trust them, if i'm passing all the time, I probably won't say anything, unless its to someone I can trust and close to, I accept that I'm trans, but its not like I want to have a huge sign saying trans man here with an arrow pointing to me

I don't know how I would tell anyone who didn't know me before, or heard through someone else, its just not a relevant thing for people to know. I wouldn't deny it but I wouldn't go around publishing it as an "interesting fact" about me.

The only time I'd probably tell people was if they were also trans and I felt like I had something to offer them by coming out, but I'm not the best at explaining stuff so I don't know if I actually would.

I'm probably planning to stay at the same workplace for at least a few more years so other than new people I meet I don't think stealth will be much of an option for me, at least for a while anyway.

I don't really feel comfortable with just erasing 25 years of my life, but on the other hand it's not going to be how I introduce myself either.

I think that my transliness won't specifically be a secret but I won't feel the need to tell everyone either.

I am going to try to be as stealth as I possibly can. I dont want to be trans, and I certainly do not want to be know as being trans. Partner, family, friends I have before I transition and doctors knowing is fine. Anybody else...nope.

I'm with most others here: happy to talk about it if someone asks (which I'm sure they will), but won't advertise myself as trans.

I'm a firm believer in the idea that we're all standing on the shoulders of those brave trailblazing trans people who went before us, and thus have a responsibility (however small) to pass it on to those who follow behind us.  If everyone aims for invisibility once they transition, the only thing the general public will see are those who are stuck in the awkward transition phase.  They won't see the amazing girls and guys we turn into, and will never see the successes and positive impacts that we have on society.  Through visibility and strength in numbers, we're all helping to eradicate prejudice.

Not saying that everyone has to do this, but I'd like to see it encouraged a little more.  It's very difficult to allay the fears of the general public when those most able to do so - the successful, 100% stealth trans people - are nowhere to be seen.

I'm pretty much done with transition now. I've been on T for over 2 years, I've had legal documents changed and I've had top surgery. I don't plan on staying in the community. I don't like to talk about my transition anyway and feel like it is no one's business and I don't want to be in a "community" with people. Plus, I find that the community is more geared towards people within the first year of transition anyway with little to offer for people further down the line. I see it on Susans itself all the time. The first page here on the FTM forum is questions and posts from those either pre transition or early on. No offense to those who are in that place. I was there too! But at this point and further down the road, I feel like I don't need that same sense of community anymore.

Thanks for all of the responses. I am in the same camp as _______, I feel like I have the ability to educate those around me just by being honest and being myself, and make it easier for those who come after me.

I honestly don't know since transition is so far away for me right now.  I think it would depend on where I'm living.  If I'm living in a more tolerant place then I guess I wouldn't mind being out as much, but for a less tolerant place I'd be stealth.  I don't want my life to be defined as "trans" though.  I just want to live my life as a regular guy no one care to ask trans questions about.