I'm still very much a new girl here, and my mind and emotions are still very much in flux..  a decision to.. stop where I am and revert back.. for my family.  I don't know which will be harder, living as I was, or living without the love of my life.  If I can live forever as a girl, with an empty, broken heart, what would it gain me?  To Thine Own Self, Be True..  aye, truer words, ne'er spoken..  but nonetheless, I must force, back inside, for how long, I know not, that which has cracked my world in two.  I love my wife, my children.  I will just not look in the mirror.

I have my endo and therapy sessions tomorrow, is there such a thing as micro-dose E?  Guess I will find out.  In any event, I do not know if remaining away will ease the hurt, or looking in will, I may or may not be back for a while.

"Love is blind", in my case, may be crazy and..   too...

If I am not back anytime soon, I wish, with all my heart, your dreams come true, and when you lay your head down at night, that you dream the dreams of Angels.

Paula  <3

Paula, do what you need to do and know: we are here for you should you ever need us.
Miss you...

Sweetie, do what's best for you. Only you know what that is, given your life and your circumstances.

Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best, and hope you find happiness, in whatever form it takes.

*big hug*

it's my own personal opinion that love  is the more important of any issue

Paula

I wish you all the very best.  Your question is however a good one.  You can take low dose hrt and the benefits are immense.  Please discuss it with your endo  and see if this is right for you.  You don't have to deny yourself the benefits of E as low dose hrt and perhaps a non binary expression will reduce or remove your dysphoria without causing damage to those whom you love (including yourself). Please be kind to yourself and to those you love, hurting yourself unnecessarily is rarely the best or indeed a long term solution.

Safe travels

Aisla

We all need to get away from it every once in a while, just don't forget us and know we will always be here for you.

Paula,
    You're probably making the best choice, there is so much family carnage that comes with being transgender, which brings to mind a bible verse (I'm not religious but this makes sense) "What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul?" My best to you and your sweet spouse!

I wish you well, and absolutely understand.  Transition has cost me my best friend and lover.  Even though I feel complete as a woman, I doubt if I will ever feel whole as a human. 
Julie

Hi Paula,

It is not a lot : just take care of yourself because you are the best person for that.
Hannah

Well,

It's not easy to live one's life forever between a rock and a hard spot.

I wish you well.  Check back from time to time...

Hugs,

Jen