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Does anyone plan to stay out as Trans* once they "finish" transitioning?

Started by Polo, April 23, 2014, 09:02:45 PM

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aleon515

I'm done, afaik. And I'm still out. I feel that I'm "trans" and not binary necessarily. I do Trans 101 and that sort of thing. I feel I found out late for a reason also, if you get my drift.

--Jay
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Frank

I wasn't ever really "out" to begin with, except close family and I can count those on one hand. I don't deal with the rest of the family. For the rest of the world? None of their business. I'm a very private person anyway.

Furthermore, I don't feel a need to be "out" because I never really dressed or acted like a girl. What's there to be "out" about?
-Frank
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stephaniec

If I was eventually able to " pass" 100 % I would still have a problem because I've lived in a small college town for 20 years with no plans of moving so it would be kind of ridiculous  for people not to know.
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Bombadil

I'm like a few other people here and that I don't have much of a choice. I live and work in a small town. Not only that, I work at a visitor center here and I'm at the front desk and teach classes. So I"m known. I also manage the volunteers, many of whom are locals. And I am in charge of renting out rooms. I could happily live in this town for the rest of my life and plan to work in my job until I retire, about 10 years. So. I can't go stealth.

And... I think this is a fight I can choose. Like Jay, I feel like I came to this late because I was just so ignorant. I'm not going to go out and shout to the world, but if I'm visible and can do some trail blazing myself, so be it.






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MadelineB

I pass very well. I am out by choice. It has its frustrations and drawbacks but is the right choice for me. I have been able to make a difference in a lot of lives by outing myself where appropriate.
It is a real pain when clueless friends and aquaintances out you without consulting you in ways that poison potetial relationships or endanger your safety. I put up with that risk, but won't stay friends with someone that doesn't respect that it is my story to tell, my identities to share.
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
~Maya Angelou

Personal Blog: Madeline's B-Hive
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Carrie Liz

I'm kind of hoping that I will reach a point where I only have to be out as trans to people who actually want to know.

I could never completely hide my trans status, because the fact that trans people are so oppressed right now is making me care about being an activist too much. I plan on keeping my Youtube channel and transition blog open to the public, so that my voice can still be heard. But I also don't want my trans status to be common knowledge. I want to be able to go about an average day without having to have my trans status brought up.

I want to educate people without being forced to educate people at every hour of every day, if you know what I mean.
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aleon515

I agree Christopher. I don't necessarily say "Hey everybody I'm trans", but people do know. I hope it proves that trans isn't so scary. I can educate people if I have a chance, but I don't do this all the time. I do live my life and do not necessarily disclose in every single situation.

--Jay
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MacG


ReubenIsTheName

I'm pretty open about it right now. I mean, I'm not going to walk up to someone random and say "Hello, I'm not really a guy!" or anything like that, but if someone asks me, I'd (most likely) tell them. I'm a very blunt and down-to-earth person. My friends come to me for advice because they know I'll tell them what needs to be said, instead of what they want to hear. Best friend says that's a Taurian trait, and it may be, but that's another story for another time. When I came out, I wanted to scream it to the world (metaphorically speaking), but I knew that, especially living in the Southern US currently, it would not be a good idea. People here get enough flak about being bisexual or gay/lesbian. It's not quite understood why you'd like your own gender romantically here, let alone wanting to change your outwards gender. Anywho, I do plan on still telling people (almost always will be my significant other) that I was born with a female's body. Especially since I won't be getting the prosthetic bottom surgery (way too expensive and, from what I've read, somewhat pointless in comparison to the cost), just the top and hysterectomy. So, yes, I will stay out as trans even after it is all said and done, just only to a select few that earn my trust.

"After Jesus and rock and roll, couldn't save my immoral soul, well, I've got nothing left, I've got nothing left to lose." 'Nothing Left to Lose' - The Pretty Reckless

Call me Reuben Damian/Toby
Preferred pronouns - He, His, Him | Orientation - "Straight" | Future surgeries - Mastectomy, Hysto, Vaginectomy, & hopefully Phallo.
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wheat thins are delicious

Quote from: ReubenIsTheName on April 25, 2014, 08:51:03 AM
Especially since I won't be getting the prosthetic bottom surgery (way too expensive and, from what I've read, somewhat pointless in comparison to the cost),

If you are going to talk about bottom surgery at least do some actual research first.


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ReubenIsTheName

Quote from: wheat thins are delicious on April 25, 2014, 01:08:42 PM
If you are going to talk about bottom surgery at least do some actual research first.
I've read up on it. Even talked to other FTMs, and seen other FTM blogs and such, and lots of them aren't getting it because of the cost. And some of them feel it's only good for peeing standing up. And I say that directly from another FTM's words.

"After Jesus and rock and roll, couldn't save my immoral soul, well, I've got nothing left, I've got nothing left to lose." 'Nothing Left to Lose' - The Pretty Reckless

Call me Reuben Damian/Toby
Preferred pronouns - He, His, Him | Orientation - "Straight" | Future surgeries - Mastectomy, Hysto, Vaginectomy, & hopefully Phallo.
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wheat thins are delicious

Quote from: ReubenIsTheName on April 25, 2014, 01:48:37 PM
I've read up on it. Even talked to other FTMs, and seen other FTM blogs and such, and lots of them aren't getting it because of the cost. And some of them feel it's only good for peeing standing up. And I say that directly from another FTM's words.

So you talked to non-op guys, not actual guys who've had surgery.  That explains a lot.  I've found most of the info coming from guys who don't plan to get bottom surgery is uninformed and often times wrong and outdated.


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aleon515

Quote from: wheat thins are delicious on April 25, 2014, 02:20:46 PM
So you talked to non-op guys, not actual guys who've had the surgery.  That explains a lot.  I've found most of the info coming from guys who don't plan to get bottom surgery is uninformed and often times wrong and outdated.

I agree, I don't plan to, but not due to results like that. I think there is a LOT of misinformation out there and a most of it perpetuated by trans guys.

--Jay
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ReubenIsTheName

Quote from: wheat thins are delicious on April 25, 2014, 02:20:46 PM
So you talked to non-op guys, not actual guys who've had surgery.  That explains a lot.  I've found most of the info coming from guys who don't plan to get bottom surgery is uninformed and often times wrong and outdated.
Yeah, I probably should've clarified that. I've certainly been doing research on this forum, and it seems pretty cool, if you can afford it. Coming from a middle class background, I'll have enough trouble affording HRT and top surgery before I think about bottom, and I'm pretty sure I'm only going to do a hysterectomy. Until I get a stable job, car, and place of residence, I won't even think about bottom surgery. I do plan on starting HRT ASAP after high school, but that'll be after I get into college locally, or move away and get into college. I've lived being FTM this long, so I think I can wait that much longer. Also, there's the counseling I'll have to go through to get approved. I've been in counseling since a young age, but this is the South; none of them (to my knowledge) have been properly versed in dysphoria. Even the one I'm seeing now tells me that.

"After Jesus and rock and roll, couldn't save my immoral soul, well, I've got nothing left, I've got nothing left to lose." 'Nothing Left to Lose' - The Pretty Reckless

Call me Reuben Damian/Toby
Preferred pronouns - He, His, Him | Orientation - "Straight" | Future surgeries - Mastectomy, Hysto, Vaginectomy, & hopefully Phallo.
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wheat thins are delicious

I live in the south as well.  They may be harder to find but there are definitely therapists and counselors around that are versed in trans people. 
Anyway, my whole point was less about whether or not you would actually get bottom surgery (if you don't want to no big deal to me) and more about spreading misinformation. 


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ReubenIsTheName

I gotcha. I'll do more research before I open my mouth again.  :-X

"After Jesus and rock and roll, couldn't save my immoral soul, well, I've got nothing left, I've got nothing left to lose." 'Nothing Left to Lose' - The Pretty Reckless

Call me Reuben Damian/Toby
Preferred pronouns - He, His, Him | Orientation - "Straight" | Future surgeries - Mastectomy, Hysto, Vaginectomy, & hopefully Phallo.
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BrotherBen

Quote from: wheat thins are delicious on April 24, 2014, 12:32:10 AM
Not telling people I'm trans is not hiding anything.

Yeah, sorry I couldn't think of a better word. I guess "omit" is closer to what I mean. Not that there aren't other parts of your life story you omit for people you've just met. At my stage of transition though, it may not define me as a person but it is still a HUGE part of my life, and I also think it's one of the bravest and hardest things I've ever done, so why wouldn't I want to tell people about this awesome thing I'm doing? I may not have chosen to be internally male, but I did choose to acknowledge, embrace, and externalize that in ways that are socially (and even physically) difficult, so I think transitioning is worthy of pride.


Be weird. Be random. Be who you are. Because you never know who would love the person you hide.
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Xenguy

I don't know how many people are, but I'm not, I'm going full stealth mode as soon as I start HRT, not even waiting for top surgery. Reason is because I'm still in HS and I want to erase all memories of my past life and start anew. A MtF at my school did it, she transitioned from one school year to the next and came back as a beautiful girl, even got elected homecoming queen last year. That's exactly what I'm planning to do, it's no one's business what my history is.
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randomroads

I plan on staying out as trans unless it becomes detrimental to my family. My long term goals include being active in the LGBT(emphasis on the T) community and being a mentor/sponsor for trans youth. I'm hoping I can carry on a legit professional career while remaining out and proud.
I believe in invisible pink unicorns

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Daydreamer

I'd love to be stealth at some point, but I know it won't happen.
"Stay tuned next for the sound of your own thoughts, broadcast live on the radio for all to hear." -- Cecil (Welcome to Night Vale)

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