My wife and I have gotten on the same page. Gender expression and fluidity as a coping strategy and then adding in medical stuffs and social transition if it don't work. She does not want to be in a lesbian relationship if I eventually transition. Our marriage would end but she'd rather see me as her happy female best friend than her miserable husband.
She'd rather I be her gender fluid and happy husband than either of those, but if she is willing to see me through transition, I'm willing to try to avoid it.