So I was at my local Walmart this morning (11/21/13) as female, since I'm going part-time (well, not that local because this Walmart was in another town but in the same county. There is a Walmart that's closer to me but it's a 20 minute walk and I didn't feel like it. Plus, there are too many employees there who know my face well enough to recognize me).
But anyway, getting back to the story, I did my shopping for some clothes and makeup or whatever. When I finished, I sat outside the plaza to wait for the bus. There was this older man seated far away from me. He was there first and I was seated away from him.
After finishing his phone call, he asked me about the bus. Now this, you guys, is where the story gets interesting! We were seated at the same seats, he didn't get up and neither did I. I didn't hear exactly what he said to me but he did ask me about the bus saying he knows I know because he has seen me around here before or something along those lines. I didn't think anything of it because I thought he was just kidding around with me. I overlooked it and told him about the bus and exchanged brief pieces of information. When we were done talking, he said after that...
"All right, thanks, my man."
I couldn't believe it! I was stunned and offended both at the same time. I didn't know what to say or how to react! Then after that short moment's silence, I said, "Uh, excuse me?"
He ignored me. Well, I don't know if he was ignoring me or if he failed to hear me. Mind you, I never seen this man in my life, not, that I remember anyway.
I really wanted to punch the guy hard across the face but that aggression is closer to something a man would do, not to mention the situation would've escalated, then my cover would've really been blown. But I can't put into words how angry I was that he did that.
I just let it go but now I deeply regret doing so. The least I should've said was, "I'm a girl you stupid idiot!"
But I am NOT a man. I may've been born male and I may not be transitioning yet but I am NOT a man and never was a man, just a woman with the wrong parts.
I kept telling myself that it's only because he saw me before, as a guy. But that doesn't help because he should've been considerate enough to assume i'm transitioning, which I'm not yet.
If he didn't want to acknowledge me as a woman, then fine, but the most he could've said was just, "Thank you," and that would've been the end of it. I'm still trying to figure out why he couldn't just say that.
I did walk by him to wait somewhere else but that was because I wanted him to say something else to me, only for the satisfaction I would've got out of giving him the third finger.
I feel this all just relates to how ignorant and utterly inconsiderate cisgendered people (men especially) can be. Well, I don't want to say all cis people are like that because I'm sure they're not.
What I don't understand is that no one seems to give me a hard time about my gender. I can go in and out of the women's bathroom with no problem. I get ma'am'd for the most part.
How do you deal with those situations where despite presenting as your desired gender someone clocks you and calls you by your original gender? And I'm not just talking to m2f people, I'm interested in insight from f2m people as well.
I know this is the kind of situation everyone handles differently but I'd just like some insight so if I were to experience a similar situation in the future, I can handle it better and stand up for myself.
