I know this has been asked a thousand times and I have seem allot of responses. I do have an appointment work with a transgender therapist as well . But I have never seen a question like mine ..

I am wondering if all the years that have been attracted to women may have been out of jealousy ? Yes I know gender and sexuality do not go hand in hand and that there are mtf lesbians as well. I have always been jealous of women clothes and all the  options in shoes, bags , dresses and underwear . As a young boy I had a women collection I stole form friends moms and sister that I wore . Not to mention I then sold women's shoes and have always been more comfortable with a group of girls than guys .

So I guess my question is did others get aroused by the thought of them in the clothes a well and I wondering if all my women arousals may have been a subconscious jealously of me wanting  to be them... I hope that makes sense .
j

I don't think it's worth rationalizing why you liked girls. It's natural to be jealous of the other gender, aswell. Guys are a bit more secretive about it than girls, given societal pressure, but deep down I think everyone thinks their opposite gender has it better some days.

Also, your brain evolves, no opinions or thoughts should be taken for granted, we're always learning and we're always changing. I don't think anyone is born knowing they're trans, it's something you identify with or you don't, and it can strike you at any point in time...

Perhaps you were jealous of girls, but maybe you just happened to like them too? I don't know, it seems more common than what people want to lead to believe. =)

I know for myself it's not been so much the clothes it's been my malformed body. the body that's never match what I needed. Now that my body is changing , the clothes are somewhat irrelevant .

I am 50 so i hope my feelings can relate to your age.I have always looked and watched gals in nice type of shoes and SKIRTS .Another thing is hair styles (pony tails ,tight curls).The first sign for me was i have always enjoyed the looks of girl and what shes wearing .Now that i am on hrt it is 70% what clothes are on the girl and then check out how she presents herself .. It took me 6 years to take my life time of feelings and add it up to final say i am trans ..(im proud of who i am) .As long as your not self harming and you feel natural about you feelings how can it be wrong ... Have grand day .AKA Sara 

Thank you for the replies and to be honest it has hit me in a way recently more than I ever expected. As a young boy I thought about being a girl many of times and through out my life I can say I have said many times that I could live with out my penis. It has been many other things the clothes was just ne I have always noticed as well.

I wouldn't focus so much on why you are attracted to what you are attracted to.  If you like women, then you ike women.  It's a simple as that and doesn't need to be made into anything more complex than that.   Who knows why that heart wants what it wants?  It just does.

IDK, I've always liked looking at how a girl put herself together and imagined myself in that outfit.  It always seemed a rip off that my stuff lacked the pizzazz that I saw all around me.  But when I would stray too far that way the consequences were more than I wanted to deal with.  Did that facination express itself in sexual arousal?  Yeah kinda, but that was only one of many  things I would pick up on.  To be fair, beautiful men did and do the same thing for me.  Not really jealous, and not really turned on, but both and neither.   Guess I'm just lost and confused. :-P
Julie