Quote1.) Stage you're at in your transition (Non-Op, Pre-T, on T [for how many weeks/months/years?], post-op [which op?], or whatever other term you use to describe where you're at right now. Do you plan to move to another level?)

Been on T for just over two years, but about to go on a really low dose just to maintain my uplifted mood (no more nightmares, no crying jags, and more self-confidence). Got to the point where I feel my body is TOO masculine for my comfort - I never wanted to be a burly lumberjack, more of the androgynous 'boy' look than manly man. Also considering taking some other hormones to counteract the effects I don't like - hair growth, oily skin, nice butt going to my abs, stuff like that.

Before this I took Depo Provera for six years to prevent menstruation so I had a lot of progesterone in my system which was probably preventing my body from making estrogen. Either way, the black box warning says limit to one year or you can have effects - I did... it decreases bone structure, which for me resulted in it giving me nonstop tooth problems. I was getting like 10 fillings a year, have 3 root canals, two removed teeth, and one cap.. after testosterone, I've only needed 2 fillings.

I had top surgery as well as removing the cervix, uterus, fallopians and ovaries. I didn't want kids anyway so this prevents fears of pregnancy or menstruation. I am keepin my vagina permanently and would never want to get rid of it. The testosterone gave me a really bad dryness problem, which is now better because of an estradiol cream my doctor prescribed me.

Grew my penis with DHT cream topically... stopped using it and intended to switch to pumping, but haven't really been doing that. I need to start being on the ball with that. I would like to get a clitoral release so that my dick hangs freely instead of being 'held down', but now I am starting to think maybe I won't.

Quote2.) Overview of your penis (Do you use a prosthetic? If so, what kind? If not, talk about your clit/dick/click/whatever you want to call it. How many centimeters or inches has it grown on T, meta, phallo, et cetera? Are you able to feel sensations?)

I do not use a prosthetic. Sometimes I like to use the feeldoe for solo stimulation because it's a more natural hand and arm motion, but the seam up the middle (so minor, but I feel it) makes it uncomfortable to use too often. Now that I've got the dryness disorder solved I should be less prone to irritation and maybe I can do it more. I was dry from T for about 1.5 years before realizing it, because it happened so slowly that it progressed without me realizing until it was so bad I got the cream, and the instant improvement was such a contrast to before.

My dick is 2 inches if I get really hard. Most of the time I've got a semi, which I realized when there were a couple days there I thought my dick had shrunken a LOT, but then I realized it was a side effect of medication I was taking for anxiety, and that made it 100% flaccid - a state I typically only see it in right after cumming.

I have not had any surgery on my dick and now that it's bigger I can feel MORE sensations than before I grew it because there are more parts and ways for it to be touched. Something this size: o only has 2 dimensions to play with. Those who have had growth know what I mean

Quote3.) Sex. (What kind of sex do you prefer/have? Straight, gay, both, et cetera. Are you satisfied with your dick? How does your partner feel about it?)

I like to have penis-in-vagina sex with men.

I would like to use my dick for vaginal sex but wouldn't ever want to use it for anal. Yet I'm not romantically or emotionally interested in women, so that would be experimentation and it would be very frustrating if that was the sex I enjoyed having the most! So I just use strokers - use them and absolutely love them.

I would love my dick to be bigger, and any partner I've had loves my dick. Of course I am satisfied with it, it's so much larger and more awesome than it ever was before but who wouldn't want an average-sized cock?

Quote4.) Packing. (Do you pack? Why or why not?)

I do not pack. I tried this a couple times and it was interesting and I really liked seeing a bulge in my pants and feeling a package between my legs but ultimately it did make my dysphoria a lot worse instead of better.

Quote5.) Peeing. (STP? Why or not?)

I've tried using an STP before and as much as I really like being able to just 'whip it out' and go standing, as well as the improved ease of peeing outdoors or discreetly, I actually felt worse about myself using the STP. It was a constant reminder and one more thing to clean, keep in my pocket, make me feel 'not normal' - I enjoyed it at first a few times and when I began to feel like I needed it in my day-to-day life, I realized I was alienating myself.

When I had a couple dreams that involved me peeing and either being afraid someone would see my STP or me peeing sitting down, I realized it was doing me a lot of harm and not any real good. I'd bring one for a camping trip or something, and it sucks to wait for a guy in a stall, but this is not something for my everyday life.

I used to want a urethral lengthening more than anything... now I realize that if there were any sort of complication, I would be so distressed that it could never be worth it... I may do it, but it's very unlikely.

Quote6.) Any other stories, concerns, tips?

A lot of the things that I did to alleviate my dysphoria such as packing and using an STP were really liberating to feel and do the first few times, but after that it made me feel worse. It would be a constant reminder in my pants (or not in them) and every time I peed. I actually felt BETTER when I stopped using an STP and packing.

I recommend trying things like this out for a month or so, maybe even two or three, then go without them for the same length of time, and see if you even WANT to go back. We get to feel like we NEED this or NEED that, when for some people we can feel a habit or compulsion but gratifying that intense drive may make you feel worse, in which case obviously feeling better but compelled is better than still feeling compelled, doing the 'anxiety reliever' and just feeling bad anyway.

1.) Stage you're at in your transition (Non-Op, Pre-T, on T [for how many weeks/months/years?], post-op [which op?], or whatever other term you use to describe where you're at right now. Do you plan to move to another level?)

Almost 5 years on T. Post op (All surgery; top, hysto, and phallo x3 stages).
The only other step I want to take is to finally grow a beard whenever it comes in! Haha.

2.) Overview of your penis (Do you use a prosthetic? If so, what kind? If not, talk about your clit/dick/click/whatever you want to call it. How many centimeters or inches has it grown on T, meta, phallo, et cetera? Are you able to feel sensations?)

Love it. I had good growth pre surgery anyway, but after surgery everything is great. And I DO have good sensation, despite the myths.

3.) Sex. (What kind of sex do you prefer/have? Straight, gay, both, et cetera. Are you satisfied with your dick? How does your partner feel about it?)

Straight sex, and yes Im satisfied. And partners have also been.

4.) Packing. (Do you pack? Why or why not?)

Not anymore, I did before, as I felt too conscious not to (but back then, Id literally just use a sock. Easy enough).

5.) Peeing. (STP? Why or not?)

I did use a realistic looking STP before surgery. Mostly on nights out, rather than everyday life. I didn't really like to personally acknowledge that I HAD to use one, if that makes sense.
    Life has become so much easier and with less hassle after surgery. It is amazing what a difference being able to pee properly, can make. (As a side note, to get to this stage has not been easy. Healing from the urethral hook up was hard!).

6.) Any other stories, concerns, tips?

Quote from: szikha on April 15, 2014, 03:25:02 AM
When more people hear about it the more it will be known to the big non trans people public i'am affraid that there will be my circus programe where they showing the scars. And then people who see my arm will know about me. So on the other side: just keep believing phalloplasy is a fake numb paece of meat between your legs. You will never achive orgasm anymore . The risk is that the media circus will expose our scars. Iam stealth!

EXACTLY my worries. I like that most people don't even realize "Ftms" exist. So Ive been able to have all my surgeries and make excuses that fit.
  But there was a documentary in the UK not too long ago about transition and a guy post phallo showed his penis and the scar etc. I really hated that. I know it sounds selfish, but what about all those guys who live stealth and would be mortified for anyone to find out? He showed his scar and now anyone who may recognize the scar (or even make that assumption from a scar that looks similar) is going to completely ruin the way "stealth" people can live comfortably. I know it is an extreme view here, but its what I feel.
   The fact that forearm phallo is most common, was part of the deciding factor for me getting the pubic phallo! :p

Also, Phalloplasty techniques have improved greatly, and I don't think people realize.

1.) Stage you're at in your transition (Non-Op, Pre-T, on T [for how many weeks/months/years?], post-op [which op?], or whatever other term you use to describe where you're at right now. Do you plan to move to another level?)

Not going on T for medical reasons, but saving my pennies for top surgery.

2.) Overview of your penis (Do you use a prosthetic? If so, what kind? If not, talk about your clit/dick/click/whatever you want to call it. How many centimeters or inches has it grown on T, meta, phallo, et cetera? Are you able to feel sensations?)

It's nearly non-existent, but I'm ordering a pump next week in hopes of getting at least a teeny improvement.  I wish there was a surgical way to get a working penis through surgery without having to go on T first, but pigs may sprout wings before then.

3.) Sex. (What kind of sex do you prefer/have? Straight, gay, both, et cetera. Are you satisfied with your dick? How does your partner feel about it?)

I'm pansexual, married to a trans woman, and we're...  it's really complicated.  Not having sex right now because we both have dysphoria, but we're looking for solutions.

4.) Packing. (Do you pack? Why or why not?)

I have a packer I wear around the house sometimes.  I don't wear it out because I get called ma'am half the time and I don't wear jeans so the bulge isn't visible anyway.

5.) Peeing. (STP? Why or not?)

Tried an STP, couldn't get comfortable with it.  So I tend to use the handicapped stall in the men's room because public ones generally have sinks in them, so I don't have to stand next to guys if I don't want to.

6.) Any other stories, concerns, tips?

Nope.

1.) Stare at in your transition-Op, Pre-T, on T [for how many weeks/months/years?], post-op [which op?], or whatever other term you use to describe where you're at right now. Do you plan to move to another level?)

Pre-T, pre-op, but living full time as a guy. I'm working on starting T by the end of this year, legal stuff this or next year, and top surgery in a few years.

2.) Overview of your penis (Do you use a prosthetic? If so, what kind? If not, talk about your clit/dick/click/whatever you want to call it. How many centimeters or inches has it grown on T, meta, phallo, et cetera? Are you able to feel sensations?)
Since I'm pre-T there's not much to speak of.

3.) Sex. (What kind of sex do you prefer/have? Straight, gay, both, et cetera. Are you satisfied with your dick? How does your partner feel about it?)
I have a girlfriend so straight sex, though I'm not opposed to an encounter with the right guy provided I'm gendered correctly. I use a strap on though not all the time as I'm fond of my other appendages Jury's out for me on how much I want to change my little guy. My partner identifies as a lesbian/queer so there's no issue there.

4.) Packing. (Do you pack? Why or why not?)
I pack with an STP - see below.

5.) Peeing. (STP? Why or not?)
I use a Mr. Fenis and love using urinals probably more than I should. I pack with it pretty much whenever I leave the house, it forms a nice bulge in my pants which I enjoy.

6.) Any other stories, concerns, tips?
I second chaotictribe in that you should just try stuff out and do what feels good, not what you "should or shouldn't" do. The more you think about "should"s the more worked up you can get.

Also, faking confidence often leads to true confidence.

1.) I'm 2 months on T

2.) I don't use a prosthetic, and my clit  has grown a bit can't say how much cuz i wasn't really familiar with it int eh first place. (TMI but it's really hairy down there)

3.) ha masturbation count? no one loves me XD so no partner to speak of. gotta say it's easier to get off now though...

4.) I don't pack. i don't wanna be adjusting it all the time, or worse have it fall down my pant leg. no one's looking at my junk i don't really find it vital.

5.) I don't really pass yet so this isn't a concern for me since i use the ladies room still if i really need to go. and as much as i'd love to just wing out a dick and pee, i would rather sit the way i am now cuz knowing me i would screw up the STP somehow and make a mess on myself.

6.) nope.

Quote from: CandyCaneTie on April 14, 2014, 06:49:55 PM
1.) Stage you're at in your transition (Non-Op, Pre-T, on T [for how many weeks/months/years?], post-op [which op?], or whatever other term you use to describe where you're at right now. Do you plan to move to another level?)

8 months on T today, 9 weeks post Top Surgery. Planning to get bottom surgery at the end of this year, most likely phallo. Not keen to have my internal bits removed though.

Quote from: CandyCaneTie on April 14, 2014, 06:49:55 PM
2.) Overview of your penis (Do you use a prosthetic? If so, what kind? If not, talk about your clit/dick/click/whatever you want to call it. How many centimeters or inches has it grown on T, meta, phallo, et cetera? Are you able to feel sensations?)

No prosthetics for me, because they make me feel more dysphoric by reminding me that something is missing. My little guy has grown a couple of centimetres, and the sensations are out of this world!

Quote from: CandyCaneTie on April 14, 2014, 06:49:55 PM
3.) Sex. (What kind of sex do you prefer/have? Straight, gay, both, et cetera. Are you satisfied with your dick? How does your partner feel about it?)

Gay all the way - I have no interest in women and find their bodies 'icky' (no offense to any women who might happen along this thread). I'm currently without a partner as my husband has decided to end our sexual relationship due to my transition, so it's self-service for me at the moment. And whilst the little guy is delightful in his own way, I need to have the real thing (or as close as humanly possible) to feel complete and to participate as fully as I would like to.

Quote from: CandyCaneTie on April 14, 2014, 06:49:55 PM
4.) Packing. (Do you pack? Why or why not?)

No, because it reminds me that something is missing. I tend to wear long shirts to hide the crotch area so that my lack of a bulge isn't obvious.

Quote from: CandyCaneTie on April 14, 2014, 06:49:55 PM
5.) Peeing. (STP? Why or not?)

No STPs either because I just want to pee as naturally as possible. So I either hover over the bowl (especially if it's gross) or I just sit down like I always have. Even after phallo, I'm not entirely sure I'll be happy to use urinals because I like my privacy. Incidentally, I started using the men's room about 9 months before I started T, and I didn't pass in the slightest... but everything was just fine.

Quote from: CandyCaneTie on April 14, 2014, 06:49:55 PM
6.) Any other stories, concerns, tips?

Do whatever makes you feel comfortable, and don't worry about other people's opinions of what you should and shouldn't do. It's your body: have it your way.

Quote from: Make_It_Good on April 28, 2014, 04:43:12 AM
EXACTLY my worries. I like that most people don't even realize "Ftms" exist. So Ive been able to have all my surgeries and make excuses that fit.
  But there was a documentary in the UK not too long ago about transition and a guy post phallo showed his penis and the scar etc. I really hated that. I know it sounds selfish, but what about all those guys who live stealth and would be mortified for anyone to find out? He showed his scar and now anyone who may recognize the scar (or even make that assumption from a scar that looks similar) is going to completely ruin the way "stealth" people can live comfortably. I know it is an extreme view here, but its what I feel.
   The fact that forearm phallo is most common, was part of the deciding factor for me getting the pubic phallo! :p

Also, Phalloplasty techniques have improved greatly, and I don't think people realize.

I remember that video...on one hand, I was really glad that he shared that he had actually gained sensation, and you got to see some of the newer phalloplasties. Before then, my exposure was limited and so it gave me, as someone who wants that procedure, some more hope for my future. But I really have to wonder why showing the scar was necessary. What does it teach others about trans people and about accepting us? In my opinion, the benefits of showing something like that are very small. If a trans person wanted to know what the scars look like they could contact a surgeon for pictures of results.

Quote from: CandyCaneTie on April 14, 2014, 06:49:55 PM
I don't know if this thread will be allowed here because it is potentially explicit. If not, my apologies in advance, but I thought this would be helpful and insightful to guys in different stages who are wondering how things work and how -well- they work.

So without further adieu:

1.) Stage you're at in your transition (Non-Op, Pre-T, on T [for how many weeks/months/years?], post-op [which op?], or whatever other term you use to describe where you're at right now. Do you plan to move to another level?)

2.) Overview of your penis (Do you use a prosthetic? If so, what kind? If not, talk about your clit/dick/click/whatever you want to call it. How many centimeters or inches has it grown on T, meta, phallo, et cetera? Are you able to feel sensations?)

3.) Sex. (What kind of sex do you prefer/have? Straight, gay, both, et cetera. Are you satisfied with your dick? How does your partner feel about it?)

4.) Packing. (Do you pack? Why or why not?)

5.) Peeing. (STP? Why or not?)

6.) Any other stories, concerns, tips?

Share as much as want; feel free to leave out anything you're not comfortable with, of course.

1. Currently pre-t

2. I don't own anything yet, but I should be getting a packer soon. Other than that, there's not much to comment on.

3. I'm pan (though I like to say queer these days) but I prefer men. My fiance is aware of my situation, as he is trans as well and has no problem with anything. Due to dysphoria issues, we try to find ways around it so we're both getting something out of it.

4. I'm pack to trying to pack on a daily basis, it helps keep some of the dysphoria away.

5. I don't have an STP yet because of cost issues. I used to have one, but it didn't work well with my anatomy and it was just a bad time.

6. Nope.

1. 10 months on testosterone, no surgeries yet, but I eventually want some kind of bottom surgery... it's so far in the future right now I haven't made any decisions about it yet

2. I do not use a prosthetic, although I have had a lot of growth in my netherregions... maybe I should measure it with a ruler at some point.

3. I am in a hetero-asexual relationship. There has never been any sex. Although we are naked all the time for some reason.

4. I do not pack, partially because I bike a lot and partially because I feel like I want a penis with sensation that is a part of me, ergo packing does nothing for my issues with my genitalia.

5. I STP with a medicine spoon. It has never been an issue for me in public restrooms.

6. No further comments as that was awkward enough lol

Further adieu?!

1.) Stage you're at in your transition (Non-Op, Pre-T, on T [for how many weeks/months/years?], post-op [which op?], or whatever other term you use to describe where you're at right now. Do you plan to move to another level?)
On T for over five years.

2.) Overview of your penis (Do you use a prosthetic? If so, what kind? If not, talk about your clit/dick/click/whatever you want to call it. How many centimeters or inches has it grown on T, meta, phallo, et cetera? Are you able to feel sensations?)
I haven't measured it, but it's not nearly large enough. I use a packer. I feel plenty--sometimes a bit too much, haha.

3.) Sex. (What kind of sex do you prefer/have? Straight, gay, both, et cetera. Are you satisfied with your dick? How does your partner feel about it?)
Gay, but I don't have sex with people. I can't even consider it until I've had bottom surgery.

4.) Packing. (Do you pack? Why or why not?)
Yes, because I would go stark raving mad if I didn't.

5.) Peeing. (STP? Why or not?)
I don't use an STP. A medicine spoon is uncomfortable, and the nipple-style packer I have doesn't work well in pants.

6.) Any other stories, concerns, tips?
I want phallo, so I would probably be unsatisfied with any typical amount of growth.

1) I don't know how long I've been on testosterone. Life is a little crazy and starting T isn't the milestone I hoped it would be. At least a year or two, and I think my legal name change was at the beginning of 2012. I made other changes much sooner, including a failed attempt at transition in my teens. I have had my breasts removed, and though my chest does not look at all "natural" it was a significant step. I have not had a hysterectomy and I'm not sure how to approach the issue. Healthcare providers always seem to assume it's already been done and so talking about it is awkward.

I intend to have metoidoplasty and scrotoplasty, after either saving money or fighting my insurance. Not in a big hurry but I need to do it eventually, for my sense of self and peace of mind.

2) I have an inch or two of growth and several hard prosthetics for sex. When I talk about it I refer to my clit or my dick, often with disclaimers. I have full sensation and erections, but can't really penetrate without using strapons or whatever.

3) Historically I have had sex with mostly straight and bisexual men (occasionally women), but I'm at an impasse right now. I can have sex with people who prefer transguys, or with straight or gay guys who are desperate/have low standards, or I can be celibate until I get to know and romantically connect with a person who may or may not understand transpeople. So far it's a mix. I don't use my vagina unless the other person is really into that, and if they are I have to use physical or mental workarounds to make it still fun for both of us.

I am not satisfied with my dick. Vagina-phobic gay men make me feel very bad on a regular basis. I wish and pray all the time to wake up straight, even understanding that wouldn't necessarily be easier. I was raised in the bible belt, with fundamentalist beliefs, and I don't know how to be okay with being homosexual when I can't even act on it without extraordinary confidence and creativity. Sometimes I'm that badass, but the more I'm not the harder it is to even admit that I'm trans.

4) I don't pack. Sometimes I feel like I should, but it's inconvenient. Also I have scary scenarios in my head where someone finds my flaccid "fake" penis and I don't know how to explain it. I think I could talk and posture my way out of a situation with an erect prosthetic but not a regular one.

5) I used to STP but I don't anymore. I was never good at it no matter how much I practiced in the shower or whatever. I have had success as far as appearances with a medicine spoon and with a gogirl, but I often had trickles and having to be low-key about the devices was frustrating. I do practice standing to pee without a device when there's a stall door to shut. I sit down when there's not, and even with no door I've never had any real problems. When I'm in the suburbs or other conservative areas I'm still nervous and hold it until I'm somewhere better if I can. Wherever I am, I avoid urinals. I can use them even without STP but would rather not.

6) My transition and general mental health are shaped by the fact that I'm a single parent of a severely disabled teenager, and some of my fundamentalist hangups are exacerbated by the fact that we are always surrounded by people who live in poverty. I cannot speak openly about being trans in most in-person situations, as even professed liberals often speculate that my "confusion" is the source of my daughter's mental illness. Or they don't clearly assume, but ask a lot of pointed questions and then gossip behind my back. I have had my kid removed by the state once before for reasons that were never clear, and I have had to face accusations about my gender and sexual orientation repeatedly, sometimes in court. I have been barred from certain social service agencies when they either find out I'm trans or believe I am a lesbian, on the grounds that my presence would send the wrong message to other people's children. I get aggressively called "ma'am" by people who know me as the caregiver for my daughter, and that leads to situations that don't feel safe.

My being trans piles onto the isolation we experience due to my daughter's behaviors. Parks and Recreation has been polite but don't want me in either male or female locker rooms. I pass fine as fully male, my driver's license is up-to-date with regards to name and gender designation, my voice is deep, etc, but I get outed a lot, like almost daily, partly because it is in my kid's treatment records and is such a relevant part of her history that I'm not willing to fight to have it removed. I don't necessarily want to hide that I'm trans, but people's reactions are teaching her that it is shameful and bad, and they treat me like it's proof that I'm not trustworthy. The constant judgement is a major trigger and leads me to try to stay quiet and never complain. My daughter's issues are sometimes used as proof that my gender identity is the result of trauma. Even people who don't know I'm trans have told me that my being gay stems from the same genetic failures as my kid's intellectual disability. The judgement is open, vocal, frequent, and always tolerated by onlookers and witnesses, so I think I have more shame and fear than a normal transperson would have at this stage in transition. When I do object to overt mistreatment or obvious misgendering, the response is usually to change the subject or deny outright that there was any problem. I have no recourse and am told a story that frames my "belief" that I'm a man as the source of many other problems.

So I tend to neglect my own transition/empowerment/self-actualization etc in favor of keeping a low profile. I'm sure that skews my outlook toward more paranoia and defeatism than is typical.