Quote from: learningtolive on April 16, 2014, 07:56:58 AM
Honestly, I'm in no way more attracted to trans people.  Sure there are attractive transmen, but it's not like I would purposefully seek one out or avoid one.  It's more about the individual person whether trans or cis.  However, I'll be honest here.  If I were to date a transguy some day down the road, there would be potential physical things that would have to be discussed.  I'd rather not go into detail with that, but we all have our preferences and our own comfort levels.  And I'd still have a similar conversation with a cis guy as I have major hang ups in the physical area and there are things that would need to be respected about my body and the process before I would even consider intimacy with someone.  The conversation would just be a bit different with a transguy and it would be a little more awkward for me.  Sorry if that's triggering to some, I honestly don't intend to be.  Just my feeling as of now.

Wouldn't a trans man understand those hangups better than a cis man?

I'm sure that there are very understanding cis men and some less understanding trans men in the world, but generally speaking who better to understand gender dysphoria than someone who's gone through it themselves?

I'm attracted to women regardless of cis or trans, though I imagine there would be an additional layer of mutual understanding and respect with a trans woman, which I see as a bonus and does indeed add to the attraction.

This poses an interesting question for me, one I have never considered. Sexually I am bi but prefer men. But I wouldn't be opposed to a relationship with another MTF. Being a bottom, I suppose it would have to be a MTF non op, but who knows. Actually really something I never thought about, but would be willing to give it a go. Might be a lot of fun.

I am decidedly straight.

Women just don't do it for me.  With men, it rarely is about appearance but almost everything to do with their, I dunno how to explain it, attitude?

Scruffy guys with a "This is what I do and I don't give a damn what any one thinks" attitude is super-virile and incredibly sexy.

So long as a man has those qualities trans or cis doesn't matter.

-AM

I'm straight.  I wouldn't mind dating a transwoman, but there would be some reservations concerning my dysphoria that would have to be address.

A transwoman would understand me more because of the trans nature we share, but I can probably understand a ciswoman more and relate to he more as we both grew up female and deal with menstruals etc.

Well, more deep thought, huh? I am Bi. Actually I find the guys, trans of course, as more attractive emotionally and physically. On an emotional level, way deeper than a cis guy. If I am crying, please grab me and tell me it is OK. If I am scared, hold me and protect me and make me feel safe. If I am feeling jealous, please reassure me that I have nothing to worry about. Most cisguys that I have had relationships with seemed like they do it but are unsure of themselves or just don't seem to give a crap. Two transguys that i have had relationships with genuinely seemed to care and were more sure of themselves. Actually they were more and better men than the cisguys. Ironic, huh?

As for the girls, again trans of course, I find way more attractive than cis girls. Emotionally and beauty wise. Cisgirls will let themselves go like skipping a day or two of shaving and then I have to sleep next to a cactus. Like me, makeup, smooth skin and hair looking good is a priority when most cisgirls I have had relations with just let themselves go au naturale on the weekends when there is nothing to do but relax at home. I am a lipstick lesbian, so baby please wear lipstick .

Actually, to be completely honest, I think I would rather be in a relationship with a transgendered person than a cisgendered person. It's just I haven't found that one true love yet.

I'm not exactly sure of the term to describe how I feel. There probably is one, though. I am not attracted to people physically. At all. Ever. And I don't much care about sex, gender, or anything else along those lines. Men, women, non-binary... doesn't matter to me what parts a person has, other than the beating one in their chest and the mushy grey one between their ears.

It's an interesting idea that I would be more inclined to be with a trans person because of a common bond but... I don't know that I would. If that was the only thing we had in common. I think I would need more than that. Sure we would share that empathy of what it's like to deal with the nature of our condition, but for me that isn't who a person is. I don't like to define myself as being transgendered. To have that as an indicator of the kind of person I am. I am a woman. And I wouldn't define my partner by being transgendered, either. They would be whichever gender, genders or lack of gender they are. I think a relationship for me would have to be based on something outside of that. Although, for me relationships don't happen outside of a long friendship, where we both grow to understand each other as human beings, discover what we have in common and discuss our differences. A meeting of souls. And I rather feel that souls are largely untouched by the complexities of being transgendered. They're the pure essence of a person.

The right soul is who I would find attractive. Nothing really more than that.

I'm not fixated on what is between someones legs. What is important is what is between their ears. I date someone based on compatibility.

I'm only attracted to men .. but i find some ftm trans hot ! 

Quote from: Jess42 on April 28, 2014, 06:04:25 PM
Most cisguys that I have had relationships with seemed like they do it but are unsure of themselves or just don't seem to give a crap. Two transguys that i have had relationships with genuinely seemed to care and were more sure of themselves. Actually they were more and better men than the cisguys. Ironic, huh?

An interesting observation, but I think it is completely possible.

I am basically gynophilic. I like the femininity regardless of the thing between the two legs.
In retrospect, I fell in love with a pretty boy at my age, but his morality disappointed me, no longer keeping friendship.

barbie~~

Quote from: barbie on April 30, 2014, 03:34:34 AM
An interesting observation, but I think it is completely possible.

I am basically gynophilic. I like the femininity regardless of the thing between the two legs.
In retrospect, I fell in love with a pretty boy at my age, but his morality disappointed me, no longer keeping friendship.

barbie~~

That was definately just an observation relating to my own personal experiences and in no way can apply to everyone.

I don't really know what I can be classified as, I guess what attracts me is more emotional. I don't care what is between the legs, size, male or female, or looks even for that matter. But open up to me emotionally, let your guard down and genuinely care, I fall in a heart beat and then I can open up and that is what I am truly attracted to.

Quote from: Polo on April 28, 2014, 09:18:41 AM
Wouldn't a trans man understand those hangups better than a cis man?

I'm sure that there are very understanding cis men and some less understanding trans men in the world, but generally speaking who better to understand gender dysphoria than someone who's gone through it themselves?

I'm attracted to women regardless of cis or trans, though I imagine there would be an additional layer of mutual understanding and respect with a trans woman, which I see as a bonus and does indeed add to the attraction.

It's hard to explain.  To be honest, physical things aren't the most important aspect of a relationship by far, but it would be more complex with two pre-op straight trans-people, ya know?  That's not to say I couldn't date a transman.  I just don't know how I feel about some things and they would need to respect my own feelings about my body and some of my own comfort levels with stuff.  I guess I wouldn't know if physical intimacy would be possible or how we could go about it.  I know TMI. But in terms of personal intimacy, I don't think it's impossible at all.  Even though gender is an important aspect to me, I'm more interested in who someone is rather than what they look like and physical stuff doesn't matter too much.  I care more about who they are, relationship roles, how I'm treated, etc.   So I leave it on the table as a possibility and something I'm open to, just unsure how it would play out without being in the situation.   

Attraction is a tricky thing, I would like to say that the physical doesn't matter and blah blah but it really isn't a choice what exactly about a person floats another persons boat. For a long term relationship I think the situation completely changes but I think most people have preferences for various things even if they sound a little un-PC. I'm basically repeating what the OP said, but I'm trying to be careful not to offend. I'm gonna go ahead and give my opinion anyway like I always do, I already got crap for having this opinion from various people (IRL, not on this forum) but heyho.

For clarification: Everyone involved in the following story is trans

A few months ago I was having this exact discussion with a friend of mine, she's straight and I'm gay so we often compare notes on men we fancy.

She has a thing for a guy who's new to the group and they've been obviously flirting back and forth for months so I asked her if they had hooked up yet want details etc etc (normal for the realm of our friendship)

She said she wanted to and he wanted to, but whenever it came down to it, it was just awkward for both of them. She said seeing each other naked was weird because once all the carefully structured clothing came off she still has male anatomy, he has female anatomy. She said something along the lines of, all the right parts were there for what we wanted to do....but on the wrong people.

My answer was basically, well, I know how you normally go about it...sooo....prosthetic? Same deal?

She said they discussed that and although he was up for it, she felt it'd be unfair to him. She'd be willing to have a go at satisfying him, even though she's not familiar with how it all works, but he doesn't feel comfortable with that.

So they're both attracted to each other, but instead of just hooking up like she normally would do with any cis guy she set her sights on (a common occurrence) when it came to dating a trans guy who she genuinely liked on top of being attracted to, neither of them could compromise enough to make it work in the bedroom. Which has put a damper on things. The endless discussions about what they could do also puts a damper on things, talking about it brings dysphoria up and makes them both feel bad both about themselves.

We've spoke about this at various points but at one particular time at a bar I finally shared the opinion that I personally don't think I could ever date another trans guy. (women, trans or otherwise, I'm just not generally interested in) The reason being, is that I would feel like a lesbian. The second those words left my mouth a different guy from the group came storming over to go off at me for calling trans men lesbians. I tried to explain, to no avail, that that's obviously not what I meant. I'm a trans guy myself, a gay one at that, to be calling trans men lesbians would be pretty ridiculous of me.

The point is that I, me, myself, would feel like a lesbian because of the anatomy involved. I would not regard the other guy in the equation a lesbian, nor myself. But if you really had to put a label on it, the stuff we would be doing would be very similar to "lesbian sex" .... which ... doesn't interest me at all. In fact I feel a bit squicked out by it, not in like an "ewww lesbians" way, but just in regarding myself that way. If that at all makes any sense. I guess if you want to dig deeper you could say it's because I've mistaken for a lesbian for most of my life and it's the direct opposite of what I actually am, so I don't want to be reminded of it in any way. On the other hand I feel like a jackass because in having those feelings about myself, I've projecting them onto other trans men and inadvertently implying that trans men who hook up with other trans men are having lesbian sex...which they're clearly not...because they're men.

I feel like a huge hypocrite but that's just how it is for me. I can still be attracted to trans men but I wouldn't want to sleep with one. (post op I haven't even considered, it's confusing enough already)

Quote from: Jeatyn on April 30, 2014, 02:18:49 PM
Attraction is a tricky thing, I would like to say that the physical doesn't matter and blah blah but it really isn't a choice what exactly about a person floats another persons boat. For a long term relationship I think the situation completely changes but I think most people have preferences for various things even if they sound a little un-PC. I'm basically repeating what the OP said, but I'm trying to be careful not to offend. I'm gonna go ahead and give my opinion anyway like I always do, I already got crap for having this opinion from various people (IRL, not on this forum) but heyho.

For clarification: Everyone involved in the following story is trans

A few months ago I was having this exact discussion with a friend of mine, she's straight and I'm gay so we often compare notes on men we fancy.

She has a thing for a guy who's new to the group and they've been obviously flirting back and forth for months so I asked her if they had hooked up yet want details etc etc (normal for the realm of our friendship)

She said she wanted to and he wanted to, but whenever it came down to it, it was just awkward for both of them. She said seeing each other naked was weird because once all the carefully structured clothing came off she still has male anatomy, he has female anatomy. She said something along the lines of, all the right parts were there for what we wanted to do....but on the wrong people.

My answer was basically, well, I know how you normally go about it...sooo....prosthetic? Same deal?

She said they discussed that and although he was up for it, she felt it'd be unfair to him. She'd be willing to have a go at satisfying him, even though she's not familiar with how it all works, but he doesn't feel comfortable with that.

So they're both attracted to each other, but instead of just hooking up like she normally would do with any cis guy she set her sights on (a common occurrence) when it came to dating a trans guy who she genuinely liked on top of being attracted to, neither of them could compromise enough to make it work in the bedroom. Which has put a damper on things. The endless discussions about what they could do also puts a damper on things, talking about it brings dysphoria up and makes them both feel bad both about themselves.

We've spoke about this at various points but at one particular time at a bar I finally shared the opinion that I personally don't think I could ever date another trans guy. (women, trans or otherwise, I'm just not generally interested in) The reason being, is that I would feel like a lesbian. The second those words left my mouth a different guy from the group came storming over to go off at me for calling trans men lesbians. I tried to explain, to no avail, that that's obviously not what I meant. I'm a trans guy myself, a gay one at that, to be calling trans men lesbians would be pretty ridiculous of me.

The point is that I, me, myself, would feel like a lesbian because of the anatomy involved. I would not regard the other guy in the equation a lesbian, nor myself. But if you really had to put a label on it, the stuff we would be doing would be very similar to "lesbian sex" .... which ... doesn't interest me at all. In fact I feel a bit squicked out by it, not in like an "ewww lesbians" way, but just in regarding myself that way. If that at all makes any sense. I guess if you want to dig deeper you could say it's because I've mistaken for a lesbian for most of my life and it's the direct opposite of what I actually am, so I don't want to be reminded of it in any way. On the other hand I feel like a jackass because in having those feelings about myself, I've projecting them onto other trans men and inadvertently implying that trans men who hook up with other trans men are having lesbian sex...which they're clearly not...because they're men.

I feel like a huge hypocrite but that's just how it is for me. I can still be attracted to trans men but I wouldn't want to sleep with one. (post op I haven't even considered, it's confusing enough already)

I'm not trying to be rude but, have you wondered why you would feel like a lesbian with an ftm if you didn't feel like a straight woman with a cis guy? I mean either way, you are a man so why feel less so depending on the partner. I guess I just found that a little odd, but sorry, I know feelings are just feelings, everyone deserves their feelings and there's really nothing you can do about it.

Hmm.. now since identifying as a cis boy, thinking of this topic is strange. I want to say I could be attracted to trans guys but I just don't know. The genitals would throw me off. I feel horrible, but in the end, I do want my partner to have a penis, from a purely sexual perspective. But (TMI...) I was active with other boys from pretty young, like early puberty, and at that age, it was before their body had even become that masculine, and it was all about the penis. I think that's just what I've always been used to and it's hard to change, even after growing up...

Quote from: sad panda on April 30, 2014, 03:07:55 PM

I'm not trying to be rude but, have you wondered why you would feel like a lesbian with an ftm if you didn't feel like a straight woman with a cis guy? I mean either way, you are a man so why feel less so depending on the partner. I guess I just found that a little odd, but sorry, I know feelings are just feelings, everyone deserves their feelings and there's really nothing you can do about it.

Hmm.. now since identifying as a cis boy, thinking of this topic is strange. I want to say I could be attracted to trans guys but I just don't know. The genitals would throw me off. I feel horrible, but in the end, I do want my partner to have a penis, from a purely sexual perspective. But (TMI...) I was active with other boys from pretty young, like early puberty, and at that age, it was before their body had even become that masculine, and it was all about the penis. I think that's just what I've always been used to and it's hard to change, even after growing up...

Well, I think some people just have preference for certain genitals. As trans people, that can seem kind of 'wrong' to our ears. But I think it's how most people are. I mean, yeah sex is about the person. But in a dark club with someone whose name you didn't even bother to get... it is about the body. The moment.

Quote from: FA on April 30, 2014, 03:19:41 PM
Well, I think some people just have preference for certain genitals. As trans people, that can seem kind of 'wrong' to our ears. But I think it's how most people are. I mean, yeah sex is about the person. But in a dark club with someone whose name you didn't even bother to get... it is about the body. The moment.

Yeah, you are right. There's nothing you can do about what you are into.

Still, it's such a confusing issue lol. And then my own body... lordy, still trying to figure out who can be into that at this point. Luckily it seems like there are a lot of people out there who are flexible if you look hard enough.

Quote from: sad panda on April 30, 2014, 03:07:55 PM

Hmm.. now since identifying as a cis boy, thinking of this topic is strange. I want to say I could be attracted to trans guys but I just don't know. The genitals would throw me off. I feel horrible, but in the end, I do want my partner to have a penis, from a purely sexual perspective. But (TMI...) I was active with other boys from pretty young, like early puberty, and at that age, it was before their body had even become that masculine, and it was all about the penis. I think that's just what I've always been used to and it's hard to change, even after growing up...

See, I feel like a total hypocrite, but that's my only potential issue with dating a transguy.  I didn't want to put it as bluntly because it makes me feel bad and I don't want to upset anyone here.  However, I want men to overlook my flaws, so shouldn't I do the same? At the end of the day, I'm more attracted to a guy for his personality and not his body, but I do care about his appearance to a degree which makes it complicated.   I guess I would do what I can to get passed and if I ever fell for a transguy  and will still consider dating one because there is much more to a relationship than that, but I don't know what our physical relationship would be like.

Well at least I'm not the only hypocrite here 

I can't say for sure whether or not it would be different if I fell in love with a trans guy, I'm in a long term relationship so it's a hypothetical I have trouble picturing. To be frank though, sex is a super important part of a relationship for me....hell in the past it was the only part of a relationship for me I really don't think I could ever be with somebody long term who didn't tick that box for me, like for example there's no chance on this earth I could date an asexual person. Even if their personality was "perfect" ... of course, said hypothetical asexual person wouldn't want to date me either and put up with my horn dog ways.

Also I honestly don't know why my internal radar doesn't scream "straight sex!" when I'm with a cis guy. I know it doesn't make any logical sense. I've never actually been with a trans guy, not out of me avoiding it but the opportunity has never presented itself. I'm also one to say don't knock it til you've tried it, so I wouldn't kick 'em out of bed so to speak xD I know I definitely notice a different dynamic between straight guys who've I've slept with as a woman, and bi/gay guys I've slept with after transitioning. So that vibe would probably carry over to trans men as well if I could use my imagination regarding his body the same way I do with mine.

What's ironic is that I've had this situation turned on me before, long story short I was with a transwoman once and she told me that the whole time she regarded it as "lesbian sex" and was picturing me as a woman. It really pi**ed me off.....and then I was mad at myself for being mad at her because the circle of hypocrisy was getting even more ridiculous 

Quote from: FA on April 30, 2014, 03:19:41 PM
Well, I think some people just have preference for certain genitals. As trans people, that can seem kind of 'wrong' to our ears. But I think it's how most people are. I mean, yeah sex is about the person. But in a dark club with someone whose name you didn't even bother to get... it is about the body. The moment.

I like that part about in a dark club with someone's name you didn't even get FA. But one thing to take into account in that situation is when it comes to the genitals aspect, the amount of alcohol intake is a big factor. Take Jerry Springer and some of his shows, yeah I do know some of the tiltles are a little insulting but really. You can't mean to tell me that when sex becomes involved that a person can be that clueless, drunk or sober. Unless it is just people looking for 10 minutes of fame on TV. In my opinion attraction is instinctual and what attracts us is uncontrollable and when you add alcohol into the equation, inhibition goes out the window.

I am bi. But I prefer women.
That said transmen can be so hot. I just want to figure out the physical component of sex with a transman who is pre-op but in my head it's really difficult for me. When I am attracted to a masculine figure my physical attraction leans towards wanting to be penetrated. When I am attracted to a feminine figure I can go either way. I'm okay with the concept of a prosthetic but I want my partner to enjoy the experience as well. As for pre-op transwomen for whatever reason I'm good with it. No hang ups on my side of the fence as per say.

Quote from: Christine167 on May 02, 2014, 07:54:43 AM
That said transmen can be so hot.

This issue is somewhat of a slippery slope for me. I love women (because boobs ). But, seriously, before I came out, people always considered me lesbian. I don't like dick. But, I would make an exception for FTMs, in part because they would understand me more, and in part because most of them are gorgeous! ^.^ But, (not to sound shallow), I'd probably not go for one who'd had bottom surgery (phalloplasty and such, that is. I'll be getting a hysterectomy as far as bottom surgery goes, but nothing else. Because monies. ) As I said before, I don't like dick.